Sweet Silver Lining
by TK Grimm
Summary: [Okita x Reader] Modern day AU. A new home, a new family, a new country—and who said anything about learning Japanese?
1. First Impressions

**Important information**: This is a _personalized_ story, meaning (like the game), Chizuru's name is in here as a _**placeholder**_. It is not actually about Chizuru herself. So if you want, feel free to download the story and **replace** _Yukimura_ with a last **name of your choice** and _Chizuru_ with whatever first name you want (and the nickname _Chizu-chan_ to whatever you want).

The Protagonist has a basic personality and is never physically described, specifically for that purpose.

**[**Okita x Protagonist – Modern day AU. A new home, a new family, a new country—and who said anything about learning Japanese?**]**

**TK:** I've combined the prologue and first chapter as one entry, simply because I dislike posting chapters under 2000 words.

* * *

_**Sweet Silver Lining**_

_TK Grimm_

* * *

**Prologue**

* * *

It's very easy to get settled into a routine in life only to lose it in the blink of an eye. You kind of take the everyday, regular things for granted. Then bam, they're suddenly not there anymore, and you're left looking around wondering what the hell happened.

One minute, I was playing guitar in the garage with my best friend's band, the next I was sobbing on the floor with my cell phone in my hand. The garage floor became the hospital, and the hospital became a fresh grave all in a matter of fleeting moments passing before my eyes. There was no pause button, no rewind, no fast-forward, and yet each second lasted a year, and each hour passed faster than minutes.

I was eighteen when my mother died in a car accident. She wasn't role-model of the year or anything fantastic like that, but she was my friend, and she was my home. Despite her going through boyfriends and ex-husbands faster than an alcoholic goes through a bottle of wine, the two of us stuck together. I didn't judge her, and she didn't judge me. We looked out for each other and made our difficult life possible.

Now I was left in a difficult situation. Mom and I had never really been all that well-off. We weren't poverty level, but most of the time we did have to live paycheck-to-paycheck. That being the case, she didn't have any trust funds or anything to leave me with, and her meager life insurance policy only covered the cost of her funeral and burying her. With no money and a small, part-time job in retail, I couldn't afford to live on my own, despite being a legal adult.

My mom's parents were an obvious choice to most, but not to me. They were standoffish and made it clear they would prefer I find shelter elsewhere. My best friend was a fulltime college student living in a dormitory who only got to visit me once every couple of months, so she wasn't an option either.

That left me with one remaining option, and frankly, I was lucky this option even existed. There are plenty of times in movies and the like where people _don't_ know where their estranged parent is. My mom had never denied me contact with my father. She just took me with her when she left, and I lived with her my whole life because it was familiar. I never considered my father an option, not really. We spoke in emails and the once or twice a year phone call. It was more than most stories similar to this, but still wasn't a lot.

I didn't have a choice, though. I called him up, and he answered right away.

"Chizuru?" he asked. "Is that you?"

I twisted my fingers into the fabric of my skirt. "Hi, Dad."

He sounded so happy, even with his heavy Japanese accent. "Well, hello! How are you? I haven't heard from you in so long. I mean, I try to leave you to your own thing, but it's so, so nice to get a phone call from you."

Maybe I'd neglected him a little. But he wasn't an active part of my life, so honestly… talking to my father just became a sort of low priority. I felt bad about it pretty often. He tried, after all. But he lived in another country, so, since I didn't have to interact with him on a daily basis…

"Hey… Dad?"

"Yes? What's wrong?"

I felt tears prick the back of my eyes. Not again. "M-Mom," I said, unable to stop the stutter caused by the quivering of my lower lip. "She's—"

I told him everything. It was hard. I couldn't even get through the first sentence without bursting into tears, and by the end of it, I was sobbing. I had a runny nose, my head hurt, and my eyes felt swollen and puffy. Even my ears were ringing.

"I'm so sorry, Chizu-chan." His voice was thick. Did her loss hurt him, too?

"I don't know what I'm gonna do," I said, sniffing and wiping at my eyes to no avail. I had a pile of tissues on the kitchen floor around me. I don't know why I didn't pull out a chair. It was easier to slide to the floor. "I'm not in college. I don't have anywhere to go."

Dad didn't even hesitate. "You'll have to come live with me."

"But…"

But what? But a lot of things. My father was a Japanese ex-military veteran who lived in Kyoto, Japan. I was a half-American daughter living across the ocean who had a different name and was born out of wedlock. Claiming me would be difficult enough, and that was just one hurdle.

In addition to being thousands of miles away, Japan was extraordinarily different from America. Supposedly, I spent the first four years of my life there, but I only remember a few small bits and pieces. Flashes, familiar feelings, vague memories… that sort of thing. Not enough to know the language beyond _yes, no, _and _where is the bathroom_? 'Culture shock' didn't even begin to cover it.

"I won't force you," he said, a little awkwardly. "But… if you have nowhere else to go, I'd love to have you here. I've always wanted you here."

A part of me loved my father and would never argue otherwise. But I still didn't know him. After my mom left, I never met him in person. I always just understood that Mom and I were a two-person show. That Dad was out there, was a friend (who occasionally sent money to my mom to support me), but he was barely more than a stranger, in the realistic sense.

Still… what choice did I have?

* * *

_**Sweet Silver Lining**_

_TK Grimm_

* * *

**Chapter One:**

**First Impressions**

* * *

My father's name was Isami Kondou, but I didn't have the slightest idea how to spell it. 'Dad' was about as close as I could manage. I never had to call him by his name before, much less write it, so it never seemed like a big deal.

Naturally, there were no planes that went from my home to Kyoto, so I instead had to fly about to San Francisco, California, switch planes, and then fly another twelve hours over the Pacific Ocean to get to Osaka, Japan. Osaka is only about an hour south of Kyoto, so I guess it could have been worse.

My father paid for my one-way ticket, and he made arrangements to ship my possessions to his home. I only kept a few of my mother's things. All of the furniture in our little house was hers, but I didn't really see any point in me keeping it. It was hard, watching our life get packed away and sent off to various donation centers like that.

I had a closet full of clothes, a computer, and two guitars to my name, as well as a cell phone but fat lot of good an American cell phone was going to do me in Japan. I sold it and figured I'd just get a new one in Kyoto.

I'd seen pictures of him, but I never actually knew just how tall my father was. Dad was a good head higher than most of the other people in the airport, making him very easy to spot. His pictures did him justice—he was a handsome man of thirty-eight years. He had hazel eyes and dark brown hair.

Dad was wearing normal-looking clothes, but so was the rest of the airport. I guess I didn't have to worry much about kimonos and stuff like I was thinking. Still, his hair was a bit odd. It was short in the front but a bit longer in the back with the long part pulled into a topknot at the back of his head. It certainly wasn't a style you'd see in America, at any rate.

I was surprised my father spotted me so quickly. When Dad saw me, his face lit up like the Fourth of July, and he gave me a brilliant, megawatt smile as if it was the happiest day of his life.

For some reason, that just made me want to cry. It wasn't that I was upset to finally meet my father, it's just that it was even more solidifying proof that my mother was gone. She was gone, and I was left behind in a foreign country with no friends and no future.

Something must have shown on my face as I approached my father, for I watched his beaming smile slip momentarily before he forced it back up again. "Welcome, Chizu-chan," he said as he looked down at me. I didn't inherit any of his height. "How was your flight?"

Even though he had a pretty thick accent, my father spoke English really well. That was a relief, because I hardly knew any Japanese. Supposedly, it was one of the hardest languages to learn, too. I was kind of hoping most Japanese people knew English. Boy was I in for a surprise.

"It was very long," I said. I'd managed to suppress my tears, but I couldn't keep my sorrow out of my voice. I guess that would take practice. "Were you waiting long?" Security took a while to get through, but luckily no one pulled me over to search through my bags. That had yet to happen to me on a plane, and hopefully it never would.

"No, not long," he replied.

We kind of… stood there awkwardly for a while. I wasn't sure what the right protocol was here. In America, I guess the normal thing would have been to hug him and get to know him or something. But I wasn't sure if my dad had ever even been to America, despite one of his parents being American. Was it appropriate to hug a long-lost parent in Japan? Should I bow or something? I knew they were a bit more reserved here, and since he was generous enough to put a roof over my head, I didn't want to commit some kind of faux pas right in the first day.

Thankfully, Dad broke the silence with a cheerful comment. "Well, my car's right over here. It's about an hour drive to Kyoto, so we can chat on the way. Is Chizu-chan hungry?"

I used to think he was babying me when he spoke in third person like that. Then I learned it was proper grammar in Japan. It sounded silly to me, though. I brushed it aside. "No, thank you. There was food on the plane."

"_Sou desu ka_," he said quietly.

He was genuinely trying, though, so I felt bad. "Um—w-we can get coffee or something though, if you want." Dad turned around and gave me a strange look, as if he didn't quite understand. My eyes widened, and I stammered awkwardly. "I-I mean, tea? Do you guys not stop at places for drinks here? I'm sorry…"

"Oh!" he said, his eyes widening in realization. His face settled into an easy smile, and he nodded. "Yes, we have, uh, Starbucks! Just like America. Does Chizu-chan want coffee?"

Not really. But why not, I suppose. "Yes, please."

"_Hai_," he corrected with that same smile. He held up one index finger when he said that, looking a bit like an instructor. "And coffee—_kohi_."

"_Kohi_," I repeated.

He nodded. "Very good!"

My father and I went to the Starbucks in the airport. He explained that it would be easier since we could get on the bypass and go straight to Kyoto afterwards. So we sat across from each other at a table. I ordered a hot chocolate, and my father ordered some kind of green tea.

"None of your things have arrived yet," he explained to me. "But I tracked the packages, so it should only be a couple of days. Do you need to go clothes shopping?"

I shook my head. "I should be okay for now. I brought most of my clothes in this bag." I gestured to the suitcase on my right. I had my acoustic guitar in one of those cases that looked more akin to a duffle bag. It was strapped to my back. My essentials were in the suitcase (or my purse), but the rest would have to wait until it arrived at my father's house.

"So… what's Kyoto like?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

"Ahh… Kyoto is very beautiful," Dad said. "There's a lot of history there. It was the capital before Tokyo. It's a big city—plenty of things for you to do there. School, too; did you finish school?"

"I finished high school," I said. "I didn't go to college or anything though."

"_Sou desu ka_," he said, nodding his head. "There are many good universities in Kyoto, if you want to go. Once we finish your paperwork so your guardianship comes back to me, we can get you enrolled."

I didn't know much about tuition in Japan, but in America, it was obscene. That was the biggest reason I didn't go to college right after graduating. I didn't want to be in debt for the next ten years.

I quickly put a smile on and tried to keep my voice light so I wouldn't discourage my father. "That's okay, Dad. I don't really know what I want to study yet. And I want to get settled in first. I can't even speak Japanese."

"Oh, Japanese is very easy!" Dad assured me. "I can teach you right now. You say _hai_ for yes, _iie_ for no. When we get home, you say _tadaima_!"

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"It's like… I'm home!" he said. Smiles came easily to my father. I never knew. I was kind of jealous. He seemed like such a happy man. "And to welcome someone home, you say _okaeri_."

"O-kai-ree," I repeated.

"_Okaeri_," he corrected, giving a slight roll to his 'r'. It wasn't like a full on Spanish roll. It more so blended the 'r' sound closer to an 'l' sound.

"_Okaeri_," I said again.

He beamed at me. "Very good!"

I made a small smile and took a sip of my hot chocolate. It was September, so it wasn't nearly cold enough to warrant hot chocolate, but I was a firm believer that hot chocolate was good all year round, and balls to anyone who disagreed.

"I'm very happy you decided to come live with us, Chizu-chan."

I nodded absent-mindedly. My brain was on auto-pilot, which tended to give out automatic polite responses. "Thank you for _letting_ me live with you."

"Of course," he said simply. "You're my daughter."

My heart had withered and a few times over, and not just because of my mom. But somehow, with that comment, I felt warm. Some small spark of life was rekindled in there, and I could feel it longing for nourishment and growth.

When we finished our drinks, I followed my father out of the airport and into the parking lot. He drove a newer car, but the fact that it was a Honda was the extent of my automobile knowledge. It was gray.

The bypass looked just like any bypass did in America. We were driving on the wrong side of the road, which was a little weird to me, but whatever. Of course Japan had to be one of the few countries in the world that drove on the left. There were skyscrapers behind us and in the distance ahead, and traffic was as bad as any major American city for much of the drive.

What should have taken an hour ended up taking two. We had a lot to talk about, though, what with getting to know each other and all.

"So you are a musician?" Father asked.

I nodded. I was on the passenger side, and my luggage was in the backseat. My father's car was very clean. "Yes, I play guitar and picked up a little ocarina at a convention."

"Oh! Very good, very good. But you only have a guitar?"

"I have an ocarina, too."

"What is the ocarina?"

I kind of thought he would know since _The Legend of Zelda_ was a Japanese game, but I guess that was a stereotypical assumption on my part. I fumbled for a moment, unsure of how to describe it. "It's like a small flute. I'll show you later."

"_Sou desu ka_," he said with a sagely nod. I was beginning to understand that _sou desu ka_ must have meant _I see_ or _is that right_ or something along those lines.

"What do you do?" I asked. "For work."

He glanced at me briefly before switching his eyes back to the road. "Ah, I haven't changed. I still run a dojo in Kyoto. _Shieikan_."

I didn't remember that. Then again, I never really asked Dad much about himself or his life when we talked over the years. He always asked about me, though. "What kind of dojo? Like, fighting?"

He chuckled, a deep, resonating laugh that made him sound like an old samurai from an Akira Kurosawa movie. "_Kendo_," he said. "The way of the sword. I have five live-in students and many others who come for classes."

My eyebrows rose at that. "Live-in students? As in, they live at the dojo?"

"_Iie_," he said. "The dojo is where I teach, where they train and spar. The house is next to it, and some of my students live there. We have… grounds? It is a very big house."

My eyes widened even further. I never imagined my father was this well-off. I suppose if he owned a dojo, he made a living from every enrolled student. And the five living there full time probably brought in money, too, and likely also helped with household chores. Still, I had foolishly assumed it would be just my father and I, like it was with my mom. I never imagined we would be living with _other _people.

"So… there are five other people living in your house?" I asked.

"Yes!" my father said cheerfully. "You will meet them soon. They speak a little English, but they will probably all help you with your Japanese."

I shifted in my seat a little. All of the comfort I'd built around my father's easy-going personality was quickly fading away at the prospect of living with five strangers. I may not know my father quite yet, but he was still a direct blood relation. These other five were not.

"Are there any girls?" I asked.

"Ah… no," Father said. He even looked a little awkward about it. "No, they are all young men."

My jaw dropped. "Young _men_?"

"_Ah_," he nodded. "I believe the youngest is seventeen."

One year younger than me. That meant the others were all _older_ than me. I was going to live in a dojo in a foreign country with a bunch of older men. Suddenly, all I wanted to do was curl into a ball and wish I was back home in America. I'd take my chances in one of those homes or something…

No… no, this was definitely better than that… Still.

"Don't worry," Dad said, sensing my obvious trepidation. "They're a good group. Three of them are close to your age."

"So… it's just you and your five students?" I asked. I was hoping that was the end of the surprises.

"Two more," Father told me. "Hijikata Toshizo, the assistant master. He lives there, too. And Inoue Genzaborou sometimes stays. He trains at the dojo and is our groundskeeper."

Seven. Including my father, that meant eight strange men, most of which were older than me, living in this place I was now forced to call home because I had no other option.

I was doomed.

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

Shiei Hall was the name of the dojo my father owned. I say dojo, but I mean the connecting house as well. The architecture looked like a mix between traditional Japanese styles and themes with slight modern influence. It wasn't a giant mansion or anything, but it was a fairly good-sized house. The size of which only a lawyer or surgeon or something equally important could afford in America.

It had a garage, though, and there was one other car—a black Toyota—on the other side. It seemed strange to think that eight men survived with only two cars, but Kyoto was a big city. There was probably a lot of public transportation.

The garage was on the same level as the street, but we had to walk up five or six stone steps to access the rest. Shiei Hall stood on a good plot of land for a country as crowded as Japan. We were in the outskirts of Kyoto in an area my father called Mibu. There were a few other homes on about an acre or two each around this one.

The dojo was on the right, and the house itself was on the left and then angled back into an L-shape behind the dojo. There was a well-tended Japanese garden between the two and one of those wooden walkways on the side of the house with a railing.

A man wearing old-fashioned Japanese clothes was sweeping outside the front door of the house. I admit to staring for a moment. He looked like he just walked right out of a movie. He was wearing some of those baggy pants that I later learned were called _hakama_. His shirt looked more like the upper half of a yellow robe tucked into his dark, dust-blue pants The sleeves were tied back with some kind of white rope while he swept. His most notable feature, however, was his hair—he was actually bald on the top of his head, and he wore his long black hair tied up in a topknot just like a samurai from way back when.

To be honest, he was a pretty cool-looking old man.

"Ah, Gen-san!" my father greeted. He and the old man bowed to each other with friendly smiles. They spoke in Japanese, and I didn't catch a word of it. Finally, my father put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Gen-san_, kochira wa watashi no musume desu._ Chizuru-chan _desu_. Chizu-chan, this is Inoue Genzaborou. You can call him Gen-san. He is our groundskeeper."

I held out my hand. "Nice to—"

Before I could continue, my father gently pushed my hand down with an amused smile that made his eyes crinkle a bit. He shook his head and lightly pushed my shoulder, bending down slightly. I quickly understood his meaning.

Embarrassed, I practically glued my arms to my sides and bent down at the waist to bow instead of try for a handshake. I didn't know what to say, though. I didn't speak Japanese.

"Say _hajimemashite_," said my father.

"Haji…may…"

"_Hajimemashite_."

"Hajime…mashi…ta."

The old man, Gen-san, made a soft chuckle.

My father was still smiling—I could hear it in his cheerful voice. "Good! Now you say your name, and your family name first. Then add _desu_!" He cleared his throat and gave a demonstration by bowing to me and saying, "_Hajimemashite! _Kondou Isami_ desu_."

I tried bowing to Gen-san again. "_Hajime-mashite_." By my third try, I was better. "Yukimura Chizuru _desu_."

"Very good!" my father said, which made the corners of my lips tug upward. "Now you say _douzo yoroshiku_!"

"Douzo… yoro…" I trailed off, unable to remember the rest.

"_Douzo yoroshiku_," my father repeated.

"_Douzo… yoroshiku_."

My father made a noise of approval, and Gen-san smiled politely at me. He dipped into a bow of his own and said, "Inoue Genzaborou _desu. Douzo Yoroshiku_. _Gakusei desu ka_?"

I blinked in confusion and turned to my father. Gen-san looked at him, too, and Dad merely chuckled and scratched the back of his head. He said a few things to Gen-san in Japanese that I couldn't follow.

When he finished, Gen-san nodded. "_Sou desu ka_."

My father started to say something else, but at that moment, a loud crash came from the dojo. I turned toward it with a look of confusion, but no one came out. Gen-san said something in Japanese that made my father give a hearty laugh. He bowed to Gen-san, who bowed back and resumed sweeping the floor.

"This way, Chizu-chan," Dad said as he walked toward the dojo.

I didn't want to go into the dojo. It sounded like there were people in there. "Um, Dad?" I asked. "Can we go to my room first so I can put these bags down?"

"Oh, don't worry about those," he replied. "We'll have the boys take them to your room. Come! Come meet them. They speak more English than Gen-san, don't worry."

Small consolation.

With a weary sigh, I adjusted the strap of my purse and followed my father, pulling my suitcase behind me. The thing had wheels, but I still didn't want to drag it along any more than I had to. At the same time, making random guys carry it for me didn't seem like the best way to make friends, either.

Not that I wanted to make friends. I wanted to disappear. But apparently my father was a social butterfly, and I never knew. Fate was cruel.

My father stood by the doors for a moment before he glanced at me with a wink. He then turned back to the double doors, put his hands to the handles, and slid them both apart at the same time while he said a very loud greeting of sorts in his booming, samurai voice. He certainly _sounded_ like the master of a dojo. I couldn't help but gawk at him a little.

The room inside exploded. I heard a slur of Japanese from several different voices, and the only words I picked out that I recognized were, "Kondou-san" and "_okaeri_." He replied to many of them, but I couldn't see any faces since I wasn't standing in front of the door like he was.

"Chizu-chan," Father said, drawing my attention. I looked at him, horrified. Here it was—he was going to introduce me to the crowd of young men living in our house. Oh god…

Without looking at any of them, I walked over to my father's side. I kept my eyes on the ground and bent into a bow right away. "_Hajimemashite_," I said, proud that I remembered how to introduce myself. "Yukimura Chizuru _desu. Douzo…_" my eyes widened, "_yoroshi…ku_?"

I heard one of the boys make some sort of snicker, and I felt my face heat up. My father, on the other hand, proudly clapped. It made me happy before, but now I felt a bit more like a performing circus animal than a daughter that was being praised.

"She started today knowing no Japanese, and now Chizu-chan can already speak some on her own," my father said. Japanese grammar was strange—I wasn't sure if he was addressing me or the guys. I kept my head down.

"Your pronunciation is very good," said a voice in front of me. I chanced a glance up, and my breath was caught in my throat. The boy directly in front of me looked about my age, perhaps a tiny bit older. He had neck-length black hair that partially covered his left eye. The hairstyle was considered 'emo' in America, but he wasn't wearing eyeliner and didn't look the type otherwise, so I tried not to make the assumption.

"Thank you," I said, having finally found my voice.

He bowed to me and said, "Saito Hajime _desu_. It is… nice to meet you." His accent wasn't as thick as my father's, nor as deep. He sounded… calm. Tranquil. There was some sort of soothing quality to his voice that I had not expected.

I tried my hand at pronouncing his name. His compliment toward my pronunciation gave me enough courage to attempt it. "Saito… Hajime… san?"

I didn't understand Japanese honorifics. I figured out that Saito was his last name and Hajime was his first name, but my father said most people address each other with their last name, unlike America, which is far less formal and conservative.

The boy looked at my father, but Dad merely gave him his beaming grin and an encouraging nod. He switched his dark eyes back to me. "You can call me Saito-san."

He was looking at me expectantly. Was I supposed to… thank him? Or… maybe I should say what I wanted to be called? I wasn't sure. I must have fumbled for too long, because he spoke again.

"Do you want… to be called by your family name?"

"Um… Chizuru," I said. I bowed again, just in case. "Please use my given name."

"Chizuru-san," Saito-san repeated. "_Wakarimashite_."

I hadn't the slightest idea what that meant. Apparently, I wasn't expected to reply, because Saito-san turned and stepped aside.

Another boy took his place, this one looking young and exuberant. His short hair was a dark brown cut in an array of messy spikes. He had blue eyes, which implied contacts, but they were very nice. Like Saito-san and Gen-san, he was dressed in old-fashioned Japanese clothes. He looked a bit sweaty, as if he'd been practicing when we arrived.

He beamed at me and said, "Hello!" He spoke the next part slowly, as if testing each word. "My name is Toudou Heisuke. It is nice to meet you!"

Because he'd said it in English, I wasn't sure if Toudou was his first name or his last. Still, I bowed and said, "Yukimura Chizuru _desu. Douzo yoroshiku_." I was getting better at it.

"I think we are the same age," he said. "Maybe. You can call me Heisuke. Oh! Heisuke-kun. Call me Heisuke-kun, okay? I will call you Chizuru-chan."

"O-okay, Heisuke-kun." It sounded like hay-skay, so it was pretty easy to pronounce. The 'coon' at the end was another honorific or something. Heisuke must have been his first name, then.

A tall man suddenly put his arm around Heisuke-kun's shoulders and leaned down with a wide grin. "Oi, oi! Don't take up all the pretty girl's time, Heisuke!"

This man was tall and very muscular. He wore a green cloth tied around his forehead like a headband. Like most Japanese men, he had narrow, dark eyes and black hair. His hair was a spiky, unruly mess like Heisuke-kun's, but a darker color.

"Nagakura Shinpachi _desu_!" he said, beaming at me in excitement. "_Douzo yoroshiku_!"

Another man, who stood on Heisuke-kun's other side, heaved a sigh while he smiled at them. "You two should try to talk in English around her. Think about how she feels, having never heard our language until today!"

Of all of them, this man had the least accent to his voice. He spoke English really well. His hair was also died red and kept in a loose, low ponytail with bangs parted on the side of his face. His eyes looked hazel, like my father, but I wasn't sure if it was natural or fancy contacts like Heisuke. I also wasn't sure if colored contacts was a fashion trend in Japan or if these guys actually had vision problems.

"I'm Sanosuke Harada," he introduced. "Sanosuke is my given name. Harada is my family name. But you can call me Harada-kun, okay?"

I quickly bowed. "_Arigato_!"

Harada-kun smiled at me. He had a gentle face and demeanor. He seemed like someone who was genuinely caring, like my father. "Can I call you Chizuru-chan?"

I raised up from my bow and nodded to him. A prompting look from my father made me correct myself and say, "_Hai_."

"You're a fast learner," said Harada-kun. "You'll pick up Japanese quickly."

"I hope so," I said.

There was one more in the dojo. Nagakura-san and Harada-kun looked like they were in their mid to late twenties, but Heisuke-kun, Saito-san, and the third boy were the ones who appeared my age. His natural Japanese hair had been dyed a reddish brown and fell to his shoulders with part of the back pulled up into a knot like Gen-san and my father. He had very bright, vivid eyes like Heisuke-kun and Harada-kun, but his were green.

When he caught my eye, the corner of his mouth twitched upwards in a smirk, and he tilted his head slightly to the side, looking as if he were laughing at me without any actual laughter. He said something in Japanese, and my father answered with a happy smile and patted the boy on his shoulder.

"_Sou desu ka_," the green-eyed boy said. He eyed me up and down and then his lips twisted into something akin to a more sinister kind of smirk. "Your Japanese is ear-gouging. I can hardly stand to listen to you."

My jaw dropped. I stood there in shock while several outbursts of, "_Souji!"_ rang out around us. Apparently, the others had thought his words rude as well, including my father.

"_Mah, mah_," the green-eyed boy said with a teasing smile while he held up his hands in motion of surrender. "I was only joking."

"Then next time make it _sound_ like a joke," grumbled Nagakura-san, the man with the green headband. I was quick to learn names, but faces were another story. Luckily, all of these guys seemed to have fairly unique appearances, or at least a trait or two that stood out about them, that I could fall back on.

The green-eyed boy ignored him. He kept his gaze on me while he folded his arms across his chest, still giving me a sideways sort of grin, as if he were laughing at some private joke. "Okita Souji _desu. Yoroshiku_."

I didn't particularly want to, but I bowed to him anyway. Since he said my Japanese was ear-gouging, I decided not to waste any of it on him.

He noticed. "_Ne~_? She's gone quiet."

"Chizuru-chan is probably scared of Souji," Harada-kun said disapprovingly.

Okita-san's grin widened to show his teeth. "She should be."

I looked up and over at my father, hoping he would find this as disturbing as I did, but he merely smiled and reached over to ruffle Okita-san's hair as if he were a child. "Look out for her, Souji. I'm counting on you!"

I fully expected Okita-san to be just as venomous when addressing my father, maybe even swat his hand away, but instead, he actually _preened _under the attention and said, "_Hai, hai. Orenimakasero_."

"_Yosh_!" Dad said, sounding pleased as he withdrew his hand from Okita-san's head.

"Chizuru-chan!" said Heisuke-kun, drawing my attention back to him. He was the youngest one with the bright blue eyes. He seemed to be an excitable sort. "Do you need help carrying your stuff to your room?"

"Yes, please," I said gratefully. I moved to offer him the long handle of the suitcase, but Heisuke-kun merely pushed it back down and then picked up the suitcase with little difficulty. My eyes widened at the display of strength. "U-um! Isn't it heavy?"

"It's not too bad," Heisuke-kun assured me.

Harada-kun, the man with the long red hair, smiled at me and said, "It would be bad for the wooden floors if we dragged the wheels on them."

My eyebrows rose as understanding swept over my face. "Oh, okay." I guess if Japan was the sort of place where people didn't wear _shoes _inside, it made sense that they didn't want wheels on their floor, either.

"Heisuke, will you show Chizu-chan to her room, please?" Father kindly asked.

"_Hai!"_

"And help her get settled in, too."

"_Hai! _This way, Chizuru-chan."

"O-okay," I stammered. I tore my gaze away from the other boys—men—and followed Heisuke-kun away from the dojo and back to the house. He held my suitcase with one hand and pulled open the front door with his other hand. It creaked a little. He held it open for me, so I thanked him as I stepped inside.

"Leave your shoes here," he said.

I saw a neat row of shoes on the side of the entrance area. I looked down at my sneakers and used my foot to pull them off without undoing the shoelaces. A quick glance at Heisuke-kun's feet showed he was actually wearing a pair of white socks with the big toe separated from the little toes. I guess the dojo took the old-fashioned uniform rule kinda seriously.

"Do you use Tennen Rishin-ryu, too?" Heisuke-kun asked me.

"Do I use… what?"

Understanding lit Heisuke-kun's face. "_Ah_… It is the… _kendo_? The sword your father teaches."

"_Oh_," I said. "No, I don't fight."

"_Ah_~," he said, nodding. "Because you're a girl?"

My head whipped around to stare at him. "That's not the reason!"

His eyes widened, and he quickly waved his free hand in a placating gesture. "_Gomen_! I didn't mean anything by it! I'm sorry!"

He didn't seem like he meant to be sexist or anything. I decided that Heisuke-kun was just the type of boy to speak without thinking. I nodded and made a small smile. "It's okay. I understand. No harm done."

"Thanks," said Heisuke-kun, sounding relieved. He adjusted the suitcase so he was carrying it with both hands. I think the weight was getting to him. "I'll show Chizuru-chan to your room."

The sooner I learned Japanese, the sooner their weird grammar would stop bugging me.

Our socks made soft taps on the wooden floor. The hallway was very clean, without a single speck of dust. I honestly pictured the home of eight men to be more of a pigsty, but I was way off. Hopefully they all pitched in and didn't leave all of the cleaning to poor Gen-san.

Most of the walls on either side of the hallway were more akin to sliding panels. Heisuke-kun called them _fusuma_. Some of them were open part of the way, some were closed, and some were wide open, allowing me to see inside the rooms. It was certainly very traditional in terms of Japanese housing. I couldn't find a single chair, for example…

At the end of the hall, there was a fork. To the left was a short hall, maybe five feet long, with a closed wooden door at the end rather than another of those _fusuma_ things. To the right, the long hallway continued.

Heisuke-kun gestured to the left with his chin. "That room has a staircase that goes upstairs." He turned to the right. "Those rooms down there are mostly bedrooms. Kondou-san and Gen-san made a room for you upstairs."

"Okay." I wasn't sure what to say.

Heisuke-kun didn't seem to mind. He cheerfully headed over to the door and opened it. He held it open with his foot while he waited for me to enter first. I ducked my head and entered quickly. I felt bad that he had to carry my suitcase all this time.

The room was square-shaped with a tall grandfather clock against the nearby wall. There was another door over there, but the only other thing in the room was the wooden staircase. Heisuke-kun began ascending the steps, so I followed quietly. They creaked a little under our weight.

"Um… how old is this place, Heisuke-kun?"

"I'm not sure exactly," he admitted. "It's been rebuilt and updated a couple of times when some sections get old or worn. Been here a couple hundred years, I guess. Kondou-san would know; you should ask him."

I nearly tripped. Couple _hundred_ years? No wonder it looked so old-fashioned. If they just updated and replaced stuff that was too worn, then this house probably hadn't changed much otherwise. I wondered how many people had lived here before. I couldn't begin to imagine all the history that I was standing on.

At the top of the stairs, there was a T-intersection. We could go left or right, and either way was a hallway. Heisuke-kun took me to the left. "Your room is right next to mine!"

Heisuke-kun was very friendly. He seemed like he might be a bit of a spaz, but I wanted a friend too badly to care. I smiled at him and nodded, waiting for him to show me.

He led me down the hall to the left, and we didn't stop until we made it to the last room. "Kondou-san picked this one especially for Chizuru-chan. I hope you like it."

I hoped I did, too. Heisuke-kun didn't open the door this time, so when he continued looking at me, I took it as my cue to do so. There were no doorknobs on these sliding doors. Instead, the handle was more of an indentation in the middle of the door on the right edge. I touched my left hand do it and found it easy to grip and slide to the left.

The first thing I noticed was the sunlight. It poked into the room through open windows and a partially open _fusuma_ door on the opposite wall that appeared to lead outside to a balcony. Just outside the windows were leafy tree tops that allowed tiny moving rays of sunshine into the room.

"In the spring, these trees have pretty pink flowers," Heisuke-kun told me.

Even I had heard of Japan's famous cherry blossom trees. I wished it was springtime now just so I could see them. "It sounds beautiful," I said, picturing them in my mind.

"They are very beautiful," Heisuke-kun agreed.

I stepped into the room as my eyes adjusted to the light. I had a bed in the corner of the room. Thankfully, it was a modern one with a mattress and sheets, not one of those old futon things the Japanese used to sleep on. I don't think I could have handled that. The opposite corner, on the same wall as the door that led to the balcony, was a closet that had a sliding door. It was open, so I could see space to fold and hang my clothes.

As for furniture, I had a small wooden desk and a chair. An empty bookshelf was propped up against another wall. The walls were mostly bare, but that meant there was room to add decorations of my choosing, I guess.

"Where do you want your suitcase?" Heisuke-kun asked me.

I felt bad that he was still holding onto it even though we'd entered my room. "Please set it by the closet so I can unpack it."

"_Hai_." He did as I asked and then stretched his arm while looking around my room. "Do you want some help unpacking?"

Truthfully, there wasn't really anything to unpack except for some clothes. "I don't have much right now," I said. "Just some clothes. But the rest of my things should arrive in a few days."

"Okay, I'll help you when it gets here."

As I pulled my arms out of the guitar bag straps, I watched Heisuke-kun roll on the balls of his feet. He looked bored and a little anxious.

"You don't have to stay, Heisuke-kun," I told him. "I can unpack my clothes now. You can go back to the dojo if you want."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," I told him. "Thanks again."

He smiled at me. "Anytime."

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

**TK:** That's chapter one for you! I hope you enjoyed. At the end of my chapters, I like to do either a discussion topic or a question for you to answer in your reviews. Most of the times, it ends up as a rant from me, and I then ask your opinion on it.

Please indulge me and join in the discussion today!

**Today's topic**: Chizuru

I know, it's like, a taboo subject. Personally, I'm not a fan. I know her purpose: to provide a blank slate for those of us playing the game to project ourselves onto her, yadda yadda. Personally, I find it hard to project myself onto someone who says things _that_ _I would never freakin' say. _Like, ever. In the Okita storyline, she does plenty of things or says things that I'm just like, "No… fail… epic fail…"

As a side note, in that one section of Stories of the Shinsengumi, why is she so rough when she dries Souji's hair? Could she not be gentle?

And she can't take any of Okita's jokes. I think his sense of humor is fantastic. Caustic and inappropriate, definitely, but still hilarious. Chizuru got all offended and shit, and I was like, lol'ing, then got all salty because she wasn't laughing at his jokes.

Then there's the anime, where we don't even get to "project ourselves onto her" because she's not even like, a Protagonist/OC anymore, she's _actually_ a character. But now she's a useless character with almost no personality. In an otome game, it's fine, I get it, whatever, but in an anime… meh. Still, they were being consistent, so can't really blame them.

I know, let's win the lottery and make a Hakuoki RPG all Dragon Age style, where you make your character all customized, fight like a badass, and romance whoever you want for various endings. Or win the lottery and hire Bioware or some game company to make it for us.

Wouldn't that be kickass? I'd play the shit out of a game like that.


	2. Lost in Translation

**Important information**: This is a _personalized_ story, meaning (like the game), Chizuru's name is in here as a _**placeholder**_. It is not actually about Chizuru herself. So if you want, feel free to download the story and **replace** _Yukimura_ with a last **name of your choice** and _Chizuru_ with whatever first name you want. The Protagonist has a basic personality and is never physically described, specifically for that purpose.

**[**Okita x Protagonist – Modern day AU. A new home, a new family, a new country—and who said anything about learning Japanese?**]**

**TK:** This chapter is named after a great movie with Bill Murray and Scarlet Johansson. It's about two people (the aforementioned actors) who have to spend a couple weeks in Japan and end up meeting up and becoming interesting friends. It's different and provided a little inspiration for this story.

* * *

_**Sweet Silver Lining**_

_TK Grimm_

* * *

**Chapter Two:**

**Lost in Translation**

* * *

There was plenty of room in the closet for all of my clothes and then some. I wasn't sure about fashion in Japan. So far it looked pretty normal. But it couldn't hurt to save up some money and add a couple things to my closet and drawers.

Speaking of money, I'd have to start looking for a job once my papers were processed. I wasn't technically a citizen, but I couldn't exactly get deported either, having been born on Japanese soil to a Japanese citizen. It was enough grounds to make a plea to grant citizenship due to extraordinary circumstances.

In the meantime, my father told me to let him know if there was anything I needed. He was already being generous enough, though, so I didn't want to ask him for anything unless it was absolutely necessary.

Once my clothes were put away and my purse and coat were hung up, I sat down on my bed and pulled my acoustic guitar out of its case. I propped it into position and sat there with my fingers on the strings for a moment.

I was a mess. The more I sat there, the more I thought about my mom, my dad, the strange new house… mostly my mom. She was all I knew, my pillar, the one thing in my life I could depend on. I didn't know how to survive on my own. I was eighteen and not ready to leave the nest. I was scared.

I was so, so very sad.

I resigned myself to hiding in my room most of the time. Heisuke-kun seemed nice, but I suffered from some serious stranger-danger, so I didn't want to chance bumping into anyone. I played my guitar until a couple hours later when I heard a knock on my door.

I stopped playing. "Yes?"

The door slid open, and my father stepped inside with a smile. "You sound very good, Chizu-chan."

I blushed a little. "Thanks."

"I came up to tell you dinner is ready," he said. "Will you come down?"

Would it have been completely cowardly to ask to take dinner in my room? Probably. It would definitely show the other guys that I had zero balls whatsoever. And it was probably also quite rude, but I really, really didn't want to go…

"Can you… give me a quick course on food etiquette?"

Dad chuckled a bit. He slid my door closed and then sat down on his knees in my floor. He gestured to the spot in front of him, implying that he wanted me to do the same. I mimicked his pose. It was pretty uncomfortable. My knees started to ache fairly quickly, and I felt my feet start to go numb within a few minutes.

Father gave me a few tips with holding chopsticks and some basic table manners. They were the sorts of things most kids are taught as small children and then grow out of as they get older and things become more laid-back. Please, thank you, don't talk with your mouth full, chew with your mouth closed, don't reach over someone else's plate, etcetera.

"We are a very easy-going group though, Chizu-chan," Dad said. "Dinner is always lively. You don't have to worry about it."

When it all came down to it, I didn't really have a choice. I nodded, and Father stood up. I followed him out of the room and down the stairs in that room with the staircase. Seemed strange to have a full-sized room dedicated to being a stairway, but I wasn't going to question it. It was pretty low on the strange scale compared to some other things.

My father led me into the dining room where the five students from earlier were already sitting down. Gen-san was there, too, as was another man I hadn't met yet. He wore a dark, faded violet kimono tucked into a pair of white _hakama_ pants. His black hair was very long and thin, and he wore it pulled up in a high ponytail. His narrow face and slender features made him look a little feminine, but not so much I couldn't tell he was a man.

"Took you long enough!" Nagakura-san complained. I was beginning to wonder if he was more muscles than brains. Still, I appreciated that he was using what broken bits of English that he knew for my sake. "I'm starving!"

Thankfully, Dad didn't tell him we took a few minutes extra to go over table manners. I think I'd have died of embarrassment if he had.

"_Wari, wari_," Dad chuckled. He sat down at the end of the room next to the man in the purple kimono. They looked to be the seats of the heads of the house—two seats rather than one. My father must have thought this man an equal then or something? I wasn't sure.

Everyone else was sitting across from each other in a long line of seats. The closest seat to my father was taken, however. Okita-san sat there, staring at me with a half-smile that didn't look particularly friendly.

"Ah, Chizu-chan!" my father said. He appeared to be looking around for a place for me to sit. His eyes landed on Okita-san, and I knew right where that was going. Judging by the look on Okita-san's face, he did, too.

Against my better judgment, I actually jumped in before my father could make Okita-san move. I already had this guy's animosity—I didn't want to make it any worse by having him move seats. Instead, I quickly turned away and said, "Heisuke-kun!"

Heisuke-kun jumped. He was sitting next to Okita-san and across from Harada-kun. "Chizu-chan?"

"May I sit next to you?"

Nagakura-san grinned and said something in Japanese that _sounded_ suggestive, but I had no way to be sure. Heisuke-kun turned pretty red, though, and he shouted some protest at him that I didn't understand.

Harada-kun turned toward me, looking up between strands of long red hair. "Of _course_ you may, Chizuru-chan. No one is sitting there, across from Shinpachi."

Shinpachi was Nagakura-san's first name, I guess, since he was sitting across from the empty seat. I quickly walked around the table and sat down on my knees on the floor. It was a very low table, only a few inches off the ground, but there was an impressive spread of food on it. I knew a little about Japanese food from restaurants, but I'd never seen anything quite like this. I was surprised to note I was actually eager to try it.

"_Ano_, Chizuru-chan!" called my father. I leaned forward so I could look at him. When our eyes met, he smiled. "Let me introduce you. This is Hijikata Toshizo, my assistant master at the dojo. Toshi, this is my daughter Chizuru-chan."

The man with the long black ponytail looked at me and bowed. "_Douzo yoroshiku_. It is nice to meet you."

I bowed in return. "_Douzo yoroshiku_."

Father was right—dinner was a very lively affair. Heisuke-kun and Harada-kun had me try a little bit of everything on the table, and most of the time, they wouldn't tell me what it was until I'd already eaten it. A lot of things were really good, better than I expected.

At one point, Heisuke-kun and Nagakura-san had a battle with their chopsticks over a small silver fish. It still had the head and tail attached…

My dad carried on an amiable conversation with Hijikata-san and Okita-san while Saito-san, who sat across from Okita-san, listened quietly. The two seated after Okita-san and Saito-san were Heisuke-kun and Harada-kun, then myself and Nagakura-san. Gen-san wasn't around, so I guess he might have gone home. I think father mentioned he only stayed sometimes.

"Did you get all settled into your room, Chizuru-chan?" Harada-kun asked.

I nodded, making sure to swallow my food before I opened my mouth to speak. "I unpacked all of my clothes, but the rest of my things won't be here for a few more days."

"That's no problem," Nagakura-san said with a grin. He had a very loud voice, but he seemed friendly enough. "When it gets here, we'll have Heisuke bring it all up to your room!"

Heisuke-kun gaped at him for a moment before his face screwed up in annoyance. "Why do I have to carry all of it? Shinpachi should get off his ass and help me!"

Saito-san closed his eyes with a sigh and then spoke with a displeased tone. "It isn't polite to use foul language in the presence of a woman."

I raised my hands in a placating gesture. "Oh, no, that's okay. It's very different in America. It doesn't bother me."

Unfortunately, Saito-san's displeased expression then turned on _me_. "_Sou desu ka_."

"What's meal time like in America?" Heisuke-kun asked me. He was looking at me like a zoo exhibit. Actually, his question made me have the attention of most of the people in the room.

"Um," I began, unsure of how to describe it. "It's… normal, I guess. We sit at a table, eat, talk. Sometimes we get our food and sit on the couch and watch TV while we eat."

Nagakura-san's eyes widened. "On the couch? Really?"

"It's true," Heisuke-kun said, looking as if he just remembered something. "I've seen it in movies!"

"Is America really like the movies?" asked Nagakura-san. He looked over at Harada-kun. Heisuke-kun looked at him, too.

Harada-kun set down his bowl of rice and placed his chopsticks on top of it. He brought his hand to his chin as if in thought or going through his memories. "It was very different from here. Not as… polite or formal. But it was fun, too."

"You've been to America, Harada-kun?" I asked.

He smiled at me and spoke as he reached up to pull his red hair behind one ear. "Yes, I studied abroad in L.A. when I was in college."

"Oh, that's really cool," I said, genuinely impressed. "What did you study?"

"Not much," he admitted with a chuckle. "I was there on a baseball scholarship. I don't play, though," he added, before I could ask. "I just wasn't going to turn down free education."

I nodded. "That's a good point."

"What about Chizuru-chan?" Heisuke-kun asked. "Have you thought about going to university here? If you wait until I graduate, maybe we can go together."

"Quit tryin' to hog the only girl, Heisuke!" Nagakura-san drawled.

"I'm not!" Heisuke-kun protested. "I'm being friendly!"

"Too friendly!"

I quickly intervened. "I'm not sure if I will or not. I don't know if there's anything I want to study."

"Really?" Harada-kun asked, sounding surprised. "What about music?"

"Music?"

"I heard you playing your guitar upstairs," he said jovially. Even though his words were casual and light-hearted, they still made me blush. "You sound really good."

Nagakura-san just got confused, though. "If she's already good, then why would she need to go to university for it?"

"To get a degree, _baka_," Harada-kun said. "You know, that thing you said was a worthless piece of paper?"

Nagakura-san snapped something back in Japanese, and Harada-kun had a smooth response in turn. I wish I'd had a translation, but it was funny enough that I still found myself snickering quietly.

Harada-kun heard me and turned his face toward me with a gentle look. "There's the real smile I've been waiting for. You should smile more. A house feels more like home if there's a pretty girl smiling in it."

I felt my face turn a stunning shade of scarlet as Harada-kun's words caused a commotion to break out between Nagakura-san and Heisuke-kun, who protested against Harada-kun in Japanese. I wasn't sure what was said, but it sounded like they were getting on his case about something, and Harada-kun turned up his nose and brushed them aside. Saito-san murmured something in Japanese, and it made Nagakura-san shrink back, looking a little sheepish.

Then Hijikata-san heaved a heavy sigh and looked at me. "Don't mind any of them. They clearly are lacking in proper manners."

I held up my hands again. "It's really no big deal. No worries."

The rest of the meal continued on in much the same way. When it was finished, Heisuke-kun and Nagakura-san got stuck with the dishes, so I offered to help them out. I was well on my way to a friendship with Heisuke-kun, but it wouldn't hurt to get on Nagakura-san's good side, too. They were all too eager to let me help out.

When everything was clean, I went upstairs to my room. I sat down on the floor and leaned my back against my bed. My knees were aching from being unused to sitting like that. I noticed not everyone at the table did. Some sat cross-legged, and Okita-san even sat with one knee bent up in an even more casual pose. I guess maybe a house full of men wasn't as strictly formal as a standard Japanese house, thankfully.

I leaned my head back against the bed and looked up through the window. The sun was down, and the moon illuminated the night sky through the trees just outside. After being on a plane and flying over nine time zones, I was insanely jet-lagged. I wanted nothing more than to sleep the next few days away. Maybe the next few years.

That wasn't an option, though. I didn't have much to do, either. Luckily, my father came upstairs to my room again with a solution for just that.

"Chizuru-chan?" he said as he stepped inside. "I have some things you might like."

I looked up at him from where I was sitting and gave him a small smile. "What is it?"

My father placed a stack of three books and a small device that looked like an MP3 player in a pile in front of me. "This is a Japanese-English learning program. Toshi picked it up at the store for you."

My eyes widened. Toshi was what my father called Hijikata-san, the man with the long ponytail whom I'd just met. Why would he do that for me? "I—wow—really?"

Dad nodded with a smile. "He said he wants you to learn Japanese as soon as possible. But with all of us here to help you, it won't take long. You just have to practice."

I looked down at the books and the MP3 player. "Well, I guess I have plenty of time…"

I'd always wanted to learn a foreign language, but who hadn't? It was one thing to download a pirated copy of Rosetta Stone and use it once or twice before forgetting about it or deciding that it's too much work. But it was another thing entirely to be suddenly thrown in another country and not have any way to communicate if you're alone.

I also wasn't kidding about having plenty of time. With only my guitar to pass the time, I took to learning Japanese with surprising zeal and ambition. I worked on it the rest of the night, starting the introductory courses while I followed along in the book until I went to bed.

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

The next day, old-man-Gen-san-who-looks-like-a-samurai came to get me for breakfast. It was as lively as dinner was the previous night, though most of the guys were dressed casually and still had bed hair. Hijikata-san expressed disapproval (I think) at their state of appearance, and Harada-kun explained to me that he was trying to leave a good impression about the manners of the dojo.

It was Saturday, which was apparently a busy day for them all. My father told me that he wanted to take me out around Kyoto, but that it would have to wait for tomorrow, Sunday. He and Hijikata-san had classes to teach at the dojo today.

"Is it okay if I watch?" I asked. I was very curious to see how things went in a dojo.

"Of course," Dad said. "Just make sure you leave your shoes outside. You can sit at my side."

I was eager, but I also thought myself pretty clever. I brought along the MP3 player Hijikata-san gave me and a pair of tiny ear buds so I could watch the _kendo_ practice and listen to Japanese lessons at the same time. When Dad saw this, he beamed and reached over to proudly pat me on the head.

It made a warm feeling rise in my chest. When he did that… it hurt a little less to think about Mom.

As the master of the dojo, my father had a seat in a place of honor. He was sitting on a small cushion he told me was called a _zabuton_. There was one next to him that he gestured for me to sit on. I sat down and tried to make myself comfortable even though I was sitting on my knees. I hoped I would just get used to it, but after about a half hour, I couldn't take it anymore and switched my legs to the side. It was still lady-like, so it would have to do.

The first part of the lesson consisted of Hijikata-san running through a group of students that all looked to be my age—including Heisuke-kun, Okita-san, and Saito-san—through a series of exercises and drills while my father and I watched. Dad explained each step to me and pointed out notable things about various students like a good swing or excellent form.

Most of it went over my head. I listened to my father, and when he wasn't speaking, I listened to the woman in my ear buds try to teach me Japanese. I was learning, slowly but surely, but it was easy to become disheartened every time I forgot something or something confused me. It helped that I had people I could ask for clarification, though.

Apparently, it wasn't common during lessons for students to spar. Most of it was based on perfecting technique and exercises. Near the end of the lesson, however, I did get to see a few matches. I wasn't sure if it was normal or if someone requested, because the only language spoken the entire time was Japanese. Either way, I got to see the boys pair off and use the center of the dojo to spar, two at a time.

Of the twenty or so boys (two of which were girls) in this age group, I watched the three live-in students the most. They all seemed to take to swordsmanship in ways that reflected their personalities. Heisuke-kun was rambunctious and energetic. Saito-san kept a level head and neutral expression. And Okita-san laughed and made sarcastic comments. My father told me that the three of them were the best in their age group, and that Okita-san was actually his top student in the entire dojo.

"What, _him_?" I asked, incredulous. Okita-san, the green-eyed monster who said my Japanese was ear-gouging? "_He's_ your best student?"

Father nodded enthusiastically. "Souji has lived here since he was nine years old. He's able to defeat any of the men in the higher age group, too. The only one who gives him trouble sometimes is Hajime-kun."

That was Saito-san. My eyes drifted over to the quiet boy and I watched him hold his practice _bokken_ at his side. Wooden swords didn't have sheaths, but if it were an actual katana, he would be holding it in his sheath and preparing to draw. Apparently, Saito-san was left handed.

"He is a master of _iai_," Father explained. "The… quick-draw. Watch."

Saito-san's neck-length black hair, which I thought would be an inconvenience since he wore it in that emo style which covered one eye, did not seem to obscure his vision in the slightest. His opponent raised his sword over his head and charged. With a blur of movement that I could hardly follow, Saito-san drew forth his sword and dodged his opponent's strike before bringing his own wooden sword to the unfortunate boy's back. Saito-san's opponent fell to the ground, and I heard Hijikata-san shout something in Japanese. It must have meant that Saito-san was the winner, for he lowered his sword, no longer in fighting stance.

I turned back to my father. "And… Okita-san is actually _better_ than that?"

"Hmm… they might be evenly matched," said Father. "It's hard to say. Souji is very good, though."

"He just seems like he doesn't take it seriously," I said, frowning.

"He seems that way," Dad agreed. "But actually there isn't anything Souji takes _more_ seriously."

I watched Okita-san's next fight to see if I could find any traces of what my father saw in him. He had a sort of lazy, joking attitude and always seemed to be smirking. If anything, he looked more mischievous than serious, even in his duels. Despite that, he didn't lose a single one. In his last match, my father lightly tapped my knee to draw my attention to Okita-san.

"He is going to use his favorite technique," he explained. "Don't blink, or Chizuru-chan will miss it."

My curiosity was piqued, and I watched as Okita-san got in front of his opponent and performed three thrusts that were so fast, they happened in less than a full second. The other boy fell backward and onto the floor while Hijikata-san shouted out a victory for Okita-san.

My eyes were wide, my lips parted in equal shock. I didn't know anything about combat or swordplay, but even the biggest idiot in the world would have been impressed by how quickly Okita-san struck. Dad was right; had I blinked, I would have missed it.

"_Sandanzuki_," said Father. "It requires extraordinary speed and precision to perform. Souji did it perfectly."

"Wow," I said, unable to keep the awe from my voice.

My father gestured to Okita-san, but I missed it because I was too busy staring in mild shock. Okita-san trotted over to him with a pleased grin on his face, especially then Father started praising him. I wasn't sure what all was said, but it looked like it made Okita-san's day.

I watched the two exchange words with open curiosity. Okita-san had been so hostile before (at least, he seemed like it, even if he claimed he'd been joking), but the way he interacted with my father, I would never have guessed he was the same person. He smiled widely at Father's praise and replied to him with excitement and sincerity.

"Even Chizu-chan was impressed!" Dad said with a cheerful smile.

I watched as Okita-san's wide smile faded into more of a confident smirk when he looked at me. "_Hmm_~?"

I suppose this was the part where I had to praise him. It wasn't hard to make myself sound sincere, as I did actually mean what I was saying, even if I was reluctant to say it to _him_. "Yes, I was. You are clearly a master, Okita-san."

He raised an eyebrow, the smirk still in place. "Oh? Are you a master of the sword, too, that you can recognize one when you see him?"

I couldn't help the immediate scowl I had as a reaction, but Okita-san started laughing.

"_Wari, wari_," he apologized, waving his left hand in dismissal a couple of times. "Just kidding."

Sure he was.

As irritating as it was, my reaction to Okita-san's personality seemed to gradually change over the course of the day. Most people, when faced with someone treating them the same passive-aggressive way that Okita-san treated me, would make an effort to avoid that person. I did, too, at first.

But the more he did it, the more I started to take it as a challenge. Clearly Okita-san had something against me, or there was something about me he didn't like. I didn't know what that was, and I didn't want to ask anyone, either. They were all his friends, after all, and would likely take his side or just not tell me anything.

That being said, my _American_ side was much less intimidated by hostile behavior. It wasn't just a challenge—it was like a quest. Whatever his problem with me was, I wanted to change his mind. I became bound and determined by the end of the second day that I was going to win that bastard over if it was the last thing I did.

That didn't mean I liked him. I thought he had a horrid personality and was the last person living at the house that I wanted to be around. But I wasn't going to give him any more reasons to hate me, either. In fact, this way, I would be defying him even more, just by proving to him that he was wrong to dislike me without getting to know me. It was mostly stubbornness on my part, mixed with a bit of spite, but I was confident that I could pull it off if given enough time.

The best part was that since he apparently seemed to idolize my father, Okita-san couldn't really ignore me, nor could he be openly rude without saying _just kidding_ or something after. So he had to deal with it while I was sugar and rainbows in response.

It drove him _nuts_, and it gave me something to giggle about in my room.

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

I didn't spend the entire day watching _kendo_ practice. I took an hour to practice my music, too. It was a bit disheartening because I was in a band back in America. We didn't get to play together often, but when we did, it was some of the best times of the year. I loved it. Now, I lived thousands of miles away, and a part of me wondered if I would ever get to play with them again.

That spoiled the mood of practicing music, so I put my guitar away and put my full focus on learning Japanese. Heisuke-kun joined me for a while. At my request, he only spoke to me in Japanese and helped me piece together sections of his sentences until I was able to translate what he was saying. He had to speak slowly and clearly, but with him helping me, I learned a lot. It was like having a one-on-one teacher rather than listening to lectures and following a textbook.

I was getting better at pronunciation. Once you got the hang of it, Japanese words didn't have that many different sounds. Everything could be brought back to the smaller, easily manageable _katakana _alphabet. Heisuke-kun had walked me through it, mostly for practicing the sounds, and I found it pretty straightforward. _Kanji_, on the other hand, was extremely difficult and could apparently take years to learn. I tried not to think about that and focused on understanding what I was hearing and being able to respond. That was the priority.

With so few things to occupy my time, I was stuck spending most of it learning Japanese. Sometimes, I grew frustrated, and passed the time by staring at the wall. It was hard to play music when I missed my friends… and my mom.

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

After dinner, Dad came up to my room. He brought with him a photo album. His smile was tentative, and a little unsure. "I kept this for many years… I thought maybe you might want to see it?"

I felt conflicted. Part of me didn't want any more reminders about Mom. I didn't want to think about her, because it hurt, so I kept trying to bury those feelings where they couldn't reach me. But… the other part of me, the one that felt warm when Dad patted me on the head or smiled at me like a loving father would, it longed to see those pictures. I wanted to see what we looked like during those few short years were we were almost a family.

I patted the area on my bed next to me. Dad slid my bedroom door closed and sat down at my side. His feet rested on the floor while he placed the book in his lap. We were sitting close enough that our sides were touching. That warm feeling spread.

The first page he opened up to was full of baby pictures. There were no pictures of my parents dating. I was told that I wasn't planned, but that I was very loved regardless. By the looks of the pictures, I was told correctly.

"Your mother was a beautiful woman," Dad told me, his voice uncharacteristically soft. I was used to him sounding loud and happy. "She didn't want to get married, so I didn't ask her to. But we raised you together for just over four years in this place."

"Here?" I asked, surprised. "At Shiei Hall?"

My father nodded. "I inherited this dojo from the previous master when I was twenty-five, and when the time is right, I will pass it along to one of my students. But yes… for those four years, the three of us lived here together."

We turned pages in relative silence, looking at the array of memories before us. It was strange to think I'd spent the first four years of my life in this very same place. Part of me couldn't believe it, but I had pictures as proof. I saw a little girl with my features dressed in a tiny _yukata_ in various areas of Shiei Hall, including the dojo. My memories were scarce, few and far between, so I couldn't pinpoint anything exactly in my mind, but the pictures filled some gaps.

"You were so cute," Dad said with his usual smile. "You had everyone here wrapped around your finger. You spoke Japanese, too."

"I did?" I asked, shocked.

He nodded. "Baby talk, of course. You were only three. But you could communicate. That's probably how you're learning so fast now. Part of you remembers."

I didn't think I was learning fast, but I still swelled a little at his praise. "Yeah, maybe."

We looked at a few more pages. As we progressed through the book, it showed baby-me getting a little older. I didn't realize so many pictures were taken of my early years. Mom and I had a few photo albums back home, but once I hit middle school, the novelty of it kind of wore off, and we stopped taking them.

I regret that now.

"Hey, Dad?" I asked, drawing his attention to me. "Is it okay if I keep this up here tonight? I want to look at it a little more."

He seemed to sense what I was really asking, for he smiled at me in a sad sort of way. After a little hesitation, as if he was unsure if it was okay, he leaned over and kissed my forehead. I didn't pull away. That tiny part of me that wanted his approval and love was growing, like a small sprout emerging from a seed.

"Of course, Chizu-chan," he told me.

Father left me in peace, and I spent the rest of the night looking at those photos. My mom looked happy with us. She was too much of a free spirit to settle down, though. But seeing these pictures, I almost wished she had. Maybe we could have been a family for a little bit longer.

Maybe she would still be alive.

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

**Today's Topic:** FFN's lovely aversion to copy/paste

What the hell, man? It's _fan fiction_. Who cares if we copy-paste? I mean, sure, I understand not wanting people to steal other people's work; that's fine. But I'm one of those people who likes to copy-paste stories onto my computer to read them later. Or like, when I was in high school, I'd put them in a word doc and put it in teeny tiny font and print it out at school so I could read fan fiction in class.

Yeah, I was one of _those_.

Ahem.

In other news, I don't like FFN's page breaks. I mean, the lines are pretty and all, but I use my own now, and for a very specific reason. Since FFN took away the ability to copy and paste stories (yes, I'm still ranting about that), I started keeping permanent copies of my favorite stories. What if they get deleted?

Anyway, some of you were asking how to download the story since we can't copy-paste.

I use a tiny program you can find on google. It's called fan fiction downloader. Not that I'm like, advertising or anything, but I like to save stories on here. While that program makes lovely copies of the stories in doc form, it doesn't save FFN's fancy line page breaks. So I stopped using them. That's why I have the kanji instead of the lines as my page breaks. Just in case there's anyone who also saves stories and finds themselves lost in a maze of words without page breaks.

Cuz the world needs page breaks! 'N shit. So yeah.

As a side note, I also like to keep pretty, polished .pdf versions of all my stories, too, and I email them out to people when they ask for a permanent copy. You just never know when something might get deleted. I've lost a couple stories to the anti-lemon rule and even the anti-song lyric rule, and it's just so tragic… *dabs tear from my eye*

But yeah. If you still can't figure it out, when the story is finished, just message me and I'll e-mail you a copy of the story with whatever name you want for the Protagonist.

Seriously, though. Copy-paste, man. It's not a sin. Give it back.


	3. Back Alley Brawling

**Important information**: This is a _personalized_ story, meaning (like the game), Chizuru's name is in here as a _**placeholder**_. It is not actually about Chizuru herself. So if you want, feel free to download the story and **replace** _Yukimura_ with a last **name of your choice** and _Chizuru_ with whatever first name you want. The Protagonist has a basic personality and is never physically described, specifically for that purpose.

**[**Okita x Protagonist – Modern day AU. A new home, a new family, a new country—and who said anything about learning Japanese?**]**

**TK:** Just throwing this out there now… despite my word count per chapter, I don't actually write long stories. Most of them are in the 50k word range, so they're more like… novellas. _However_, they do at least always get finished in a timely manner. I hope you still enjoy, even if this story doesn't end up being very long.

_Also_, my stupendous reviewer Handara has informed me we can still use copy/paste in the mobile version! So in the url bar where it gives you the link of this story, just replace the "www" with "m" for mobile. You can copy/paste there, and that'll let you save the story and input whatever name you want for the Protagonist. Thanks, Handara!

* * *

_**Sweet Silver Lining**_

_TK Grimm_

* * *

**Chapter Three:**

**Back Alley Brawling**

* * *

We lived in a less-packed section of Mibu, a nice area on the outskirts of Kyoto that wasn't as completely crowded as the rest of the city. It was more normal-looking, with both busy sections and smaller shops with some space in between. There were trees, some grassy lawns, and a very large shrine on a hilltop. Most of the buildings near the shrine, including Shiei Hall, were built in the more traditional styles of Japan.

Modern clothes appeared to be the norm. Most people wore t-shirts and blue jeans, just like anywhere else. Elderly people tended to stick to the kimonos and such, but it seemed young people only wore them when they had to. Or, for example, the old-fashioned uniforms of Dad's dojo.

My father spent the whole day driving me around Mibu and showing me various things. It was a very beautiful area. It was nice to spend the day just the two of us, without any of the guys back home. I was still overwhelmed by the presence of so many new, strange people in my life. One-on-one time with my dad both helped me cope with that and helped the two of us get to know each other and bond.

He even took me out for ice cream.

As I licked my chocolate-vanilla swirl ice cream cone, my father presented me with a gift. Well, it was actually two gifts. The first was a cellular phone. "I put your phone number on the welcome screen until you get it memorized. You're set up on my data plan, along with everyone else in the house. I also put everyone's phone numbers in there, in case you ever need to reach any of us."

I scrolled through the contacts list, but to my horror, they were all written in _kanji_. "Um… Dad, I can't read any of these."

He furrowed his brow for a moment, looking confused, before his face lit up in realization. "Oh! You'll probably want to put them in _romaji_ then. Here, let me help you… this one here is me. So type in _otou-san_!"

_Otou-san_, I learned, was a common and respectful way of addressing one's father. Sometimes, it was shortened to just _tou-san_. I decided to keep the _kanji_ words there, so I could get used to seeing them, but I put _Otou-san_ in the line above for my reference.

"Yes, good, now that one is Toshi, so put Hijikata Toshizo… then Shinpachi is after him… Very good, Chizu-chan."

Putting someone's family name before their first name was strange to me. America did it the opposite way, with the given name first and the last name second. That's why we said first and last name. But apparently, in Japan, given names were usually only used between family and close friends, with a few exceptions here and there. Some people gave out their given name and requested to be addressed by it, such as Heisuke-kun.

After I updated the names in my contacts list, I added a couple more friends from back home. My best friends and bandmates—a girl and two boys I'd known for years—were the only phone numbers I had memorized.

"Do we have international texting?" I asked, looking at my father when I spoke.

Dad furrowed his brow and brought his hand to his chin. "I'm not sure. I'll find out."

"_Arigato_."

"Your Japanese is coming along well," he commented. "Every time I come up to your room, you're working on it. I didn't know you were so dedicated! I'm very proud."

Most of that dedication came from having _nothing_ else to do, but I took the compliment anyway. "I appreciate that, Dad. I'm trying really hard to learn the language here."

He patted my shoulder. "You'll learn it quickly enough. Toshi wants us to stop speaking to you in English so you learn it even faster. I told him we had to be gradual about it."

My dad must've known Hijikata-san for a long time if he was familiar enough to call him by a nickname—and without any honorifics at that. I knew he was the assistant master, but I hadn't had any one-on-one contact with him yet. It was surprising that he bought me the materials to learn Japanese, but when I thanked him, he gave a polite nod but acted as if it was just so he wouldn't have to speak in English. He seemed like he had high expectations, but was secretly reasonable.

Hijikata-san was an interesting man.

"Actually," I said, having considered it for a while. "I would prefer everyone speak in Japanese to me. I'll learn faster if I have to constantly hear it spoken by native speakers. So unless I ask for clarification… maybe Hijikata-san is right."

Dad looked surprised, but he smiled, pleased anyway. "I understand. I have one more gift for you, Chizu-chan."

"You do?" I asked.

He nodded and handed the other parcel he was carrying. It was a book, much like the photo album he'd given me last night with our family photos. This one, however, was empty.

"Your cell phone has a really nice camera built in," he said, as if phones with cameras was something novel. Maybe for an older guy like my dad. "Souji and Heisuke use theirs all the time."

I had a hard time picturing Okita-san whipping out his cell phone and taking a quick snapshot of something, but Heisuke seemed a bit more likely. "Ah… so this is for new photos?"

"_Hai_," said my father. "This is your home now, so you will be making new memories from here on out. You can store them in this book. What do you think? Do you like it?"

"I do," I admitted. Looking through the old photo album last night made me nostalgic. I wished I had more. But… none of these new pictures would have my mom in them. My smile faded.

Probably sensing my change of mood, my father's smile faded a little. I felt bad. Here he was trying his hardest to bond with me and give me a present, and I was bringing him down. I forced a smile to my face as I buried my feelings of hurt and loneliness further down.

"This is a really great gift, _Otou-san_," I said, maintaining my smile. "_Arigato gozaimasu_."

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

On Monday, Heisuke-kun returned to school. He was a third year high school student, which put him at the American equivalent of a senior in high school. Apparently, the Japanese educational system was based off of the American one after their defeat during World War II. That was why there were so many similarities, from the school year dates to the hours of the day.

Heisuke-kun wasn't the only one in school. Technically, Saito-san was a first year student at a local university. He was already nineteen and working on a general degree.

Okita-san was twenty, having graduated high school two years before, but he wasn't enrolled in university. Of everyone who lived at the dojo, he was the only one who was around most of the time. I wondered if he lacked ambition to do anything with his life.

The biggest surprise, however, came when Harada-kun told me that he and Nagakura-san were actually police officers. My shock must have shown on my face, for he laughed and said, "Yes, it's true! You don't have to worry, though—that doesn't make us uptight or anything."

Because of the time Harada-kun spent in America, he was easiest person at Shiei Hall to communicate with, even more than my father. He even knew some of my slang. Plus, he had such an easy-going personality, that I found I was actually able to relax a little around him. It was nice.

"Shinpachi and I go out for drinks in Shimabara all the time," he went on. "When we're off-duty of course."

His smile was contagious. "Of course," I said. I was quickly coming to the understanding that Harada-kun and Nagakura-san were the biggest partiers of the guys at Shiei Hall. The fact that they were police officers during the day just made it all the more ironic. Still, I felt a hell of a lot safer knowing I had two cops living in the same house as me.

I just hoped they wouldn't catch me doing anything illegal.

Turns out, those fears were completely unfounded. Nagakura-san and Harada-kun were awesome. I ended up spending a lot of time hanging out with them outside and playing guitar. Nagakura-san knew a little, and Harada-kun had a pretty decent singing voice. I couldn't understand them most of the time, but they knew a few popular English songs.

I heard some coughing and turned in time to see Okita-san walking toward us. My instinct was to tense up, dreading his reaction, but he merely looked curious. "I could hear you playing from the dojo."

Okita-san was wearing his _kendo_ uniform with a blue _haori_ resting over his shoulders. It was a long-sleeved jacket with a white triangle pattern on the ends of the sleeves. With part of his hair pulled up in that tie and the two swords at his side, he looked like a young samurai.

"Still cooped up in the house, Souji?" Nagakura-kun asked.

"Are you kidding?" Okita-san drawled. "You really think Hijikata-san would let me leave?" He leaned his back against the wall and folded his arms across his chest. His green eyes locked onto mine, and I was once again surprised by just how vivid emerald they were. His lips twisted into a knowing smirk while his eyebrows rose ever so slightly. "Although I admit, I didn't expect to see Kondou-san's daughter out here with Shinpachi-san and Sano-san."

I shrugged a little. "Music is the language the whole world speaks."

"_Ohh~_?" His smirk widened a bit. "I see."

Okita joined us for a while, apparently intrigued, while I strummed a bit on the guitar. I gave the side a gentle taping for a bit of percussion and played whatever came to mind, mostly just for background while Nagakura-san, Harada-kun, and Okita-san spoke in Japanese. I was able to catch a couple bits and pieces here, but most of it went over my head.

Playing music was truly uplifting. Suddenly, my depression was gone, and I couldn't really understand why I'd been depressed in the first place. The world was beautiful, and I had an opportunity to explore a new country and get to know a house full of new people.

"What are you smiling about?" Okita-san asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

I didn't feel my usual revulsion toward him. I just continued playing the guitar softly and looked up at him with the same goober smile. "I'm just feeling happy."

Okita-san's eyebrows rose even higher before his face settled into a smirk. "Oh?" It sounded like a question, but he didn't seem to want a response. I noticed the Japanese language had a lot of… _filler_ words. Sounds they made and dragged out a bit to fill the space in between.

When Okita-san pushed off the wall and stood up straight, Harada-kun asked, "Leaving, Souji?"

Okita-san folded his hands together in front of him so the sleeves of his _haori_ met in the middle and covered his hands from view. "Ah," he said, a confirmation sound. "I don't need Hijikata-san finding me out here and turning into a mother hen again."

Nagakura-san made a weak chuckle as he scratched the back of his head a little sheepishly. "He's just looking out for you."

"I never asked him to do that. _Ja ne_, Shinpachi. Chizuru-chan." It was the first time he'd called me by name. It didn't sound overly friendly, but at least it wasn't spiteful.

"Later, Souji," Nagakura-san said with a casual wave.

"See you," Harada-kun said.

"Bye-bye_, _Okita-san," I said politely.

Okita-san continued walking away from us, but he briefly raised his right hand over his head as a gesture of goodbye. "If Chizuru-chan tells Hijikata-san I hung out outside, I'll have to kill her." Then he folded it back in front of him, covered by the light blue sleeve of his _haori_ and disappeared from view.

"He's joking right?" I asked.

Nagakura-san only laughed.

I felt like I'd bonded a little with them both today, so maybe I could ask them. "Does Okita-san hate me?"

Harada-kun gave me a reassuring smile. "No, he doesn't. You're Kondou-san's daughter. Souji just gets like that sometimes. _Daijobu_, Chizuru-chan."

We had our own private little musical corner in the back of the dojo, small and away from prying eyes. It was awesome. I played guitar and talked with Harada-kun and Nagakura-san about various things. While I played guitar, we all sang various popular songs that anyone who's ever picked up a guitar before knew how to play. Harada-kun had a surprisingly nice singing voice.

That continued until we heard a few loud voices from around the dojo walls. They sounded like a group of boys.

"Sounds like the kids are out of school," Harada-kun said with a faint smile.

"Kids come here after school?" I asked.

"Well, yeah, they have to practice six days a week," said Nagakura-san. "Kondou-san's dojo is open every day."

I gave a thoughtful nod. "Is it an actual class or just a practice session?"

Nagakura-san looked confused, but Harada-kun understood what I was asking. "There isn't really distinction here. If there is instruction or practice, it still follows the schedule. The students are expected to attend."

"_Sou desu ka_," I said.

Harada-kun chuckled and reached over to ruffle my hair. Nagakura-san gave me an approving grin. I guess I'd officially won them both over.

The rest of my possessions arrived in a truck later that week. As promised, Heisuke-kun helped me unpack most of it. I had several books that I organized on my bookshelf. With the remaining space, I set up my DVDs and video games.

I didn't have a TV, but I was able to get my PC set up on my desk with a special outlet adapter on a power strip my father gave me. Like most surfaces and tables in Japan, the desk was already lower than a typical American one, so I set up my gamer chair in front of it and propped the other one against the wall.

My electric guitar was there, too, so I set it up on a stand next to my acoustic one. Heisuke-kun was very impressed and confessed that he always wanted to learn. I told him I'd teach him sometime, and that seemed to make him happy.

We unpacked several decorations as well. I pulled out a wheel of rainbow-colored Christmas lights. No matter where I lived, I hung holiday lights around my room all year round. I looked up at Heisuke-kun and asked, "Do you think my dad will mind if we hang these up?"

"Lights?" he asked, confused. "What for? That's kind of weird, don't you think?"

Heisuke-kun didn't have much of a filter between his brain and his mouth (much like Nagakura-san), and didn't seem to notice when certain things could come across as rude. Still, I figured out early on that he never intended it to sound that way.

"Or is this an American thing?"

I shook my head. "No, it's weird in America, too. I just like them. I think they're pretty."

He shrugged, accepting that answer. "I don't think he'll mind. I'll go ask him, and I'll bring up some tacks to hang them with."

"_Arigato_, Heisuke-kun!"

"_Hai_!"

They weren't like regular Christmas lights, in that they only came in red and green (and maybe blue). These ones also had orange, pink, and teal, so they looked less Christmassy. By the time I had both wheels of lights out, Heisuke-kun was back, and he'd brought my father with him.

"_Ohh_!" Dad said curiously. He wasn't wearing normal, modern clothes, but aside from the day he picked me up at the airport, he hadn't worn them since. Today, he wore a pair of pale gray _hakama_ pants with a faded yellow kimono shirt tucked into them. A black _haori_ was over that, tied together with a white string in the front. "You want to hang lights, Chizu-chan?"

I nodded. "I like to decorate my room with them. Is that okay?"

I was quickly learning that my father was the spoiling type, for he never said 'no' to me. Instead, he nodded happily and actually helped Heisuke-kun and I hang them up. When we finished, I had beautiful, multi-colored lights going all along the edge of my ceiling. Once they were plugged in and on, I turned my main ceiling light off and let the room be illuminated with just the rainbow lights.

I heard Heisuke-kun make a noise of surprise, and even my father's breath caught in his throat. I smiled while they looked around at my room in awe and delight. My idea, while unorthodox, had impressed them.

"This is very cool, Chizuru-chan," Heisuke-kun complimented.

I bowed, smiling. "_Arigato_."

My father turned his attention do me. "Do you need any more shelves to put things on?"

I shook my head. "I think I have enough. I only have a few more things."

"You will get more things though," he told me. "I think I should get you more shelves…"

I chuckled. "Okay, thanks."

My father was absolutely delighted when he saw a few pictures and ornaments that he had sent me over the years. Even though we rarely spoke, he never once forgot my birthday. Every time it rolled around in May, he would send me a neat gift from Japan that I could decorate with. I always thought they were cool, so I kept them.

"You kept them all?" he asked.

"Of course," I said. "I loved them all."

Dad gave me a watery-eyed smile, then, and when he spoke, his voice was thick. "_Sou desu ka_…"

Physical contact was less common in Japan than it was in America, and it would probably be a long time before I figured out just what the exact boundaries were, but at that moment, I didn't care. I walked over to my father and wrapped my arms around him. "_Arigato, Otou-san_."

He hugged me back, and I felt him rest his chin on the top of my head. We stayed like that for a brief moment before he released me, and I took it as my sign to step back. He was still smiling, and warmth bloomed in my stomach at the sight of it.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but that wore me out," I announced. "Thanks so much for helping me though, _Otou-san_. Heisuke-kun."

"_Mah~ daijobu desu_," Heisuke-kun said. "I don't mind."

"_Yosh_," Dad said. "I'm going to go downstairs and tell them to start on dinner."

"Okay," Heisuke-kun replied.

For the next few minutes, I showed Heisuke-kun a few of the games I had on my computer. He seemed very impressed that I played so many video games, and I found out we actually had a few common interests in that regard.

"You like Resident Evil, too?" I asked, shocked. "Do you want to play?"

"Really?" he asked, just as surprised as I was. "Yeah!"

I set up two controllers and loaded the game up on my computer. Thanks to various emulators and Steam, you could get pretty much any console game on a PC. I set up Resident Evil in co-op mode and actually had Heisuke-kun sit in the comfy gamer chair.

"Just trust me," I said. "This is the proper way to play video games in America. I will try things your way, but you have to give my way a shot."

"_Hai, hai_," he laughed. Heisuke-kun sat down in my chair and grinned at how squishy and comfortable it was. I decided I was going to have to order another one online. Since Heisuke-kun lived here, and was actually in a room next to mine, I had a feeling the two of us would be playing video games together pretty often, so it made sense I should get a chair for him.

Once everything was set up, the two of us took off on a zombie-killing hunt with guns and co-operative tactics. Heisuke-kun was good at the game, so he must've been playing it for a long time. Once he got over the fact that he was playing a shooting game with a girl, he relaxed and got settled into it pretty well.

This went on until Saito-san came upstairs to tell us that dinner was ready. I knew it was him because I heard him outside the door. "Chizuru-san?"

"You can come in, Saito-san," I replied without pausing. Heisuke-kun's eyes were focused on my large monitor. He was in such a zone, I wonder if he even noticed Saito-san's presence.

Saito-san was the quietest of all the men living at Shiei Hall. He was very polite, though, and he was never rude to me. In fact, he was surprisingly helpful with my Japanese, even going so far as to show me a rare, small smile when I said something correctly.

"Dinner is ready," he said softly. "Will you two come down?"

As if 'dinner' was the magic word, Heisuke-kun paused the game with his controller. "_Yosh_!" he exclaimed, hopping up out of the chair. He grinned at me. "_Sugoi_! Chizuru-chan is amazing! Can we play after dinner, too?"

I nodded enthusiastically. I'd spent almost an entire week with nothing to do but play guitar and study Japanese. I was definitely eager for other means of entertainment. I looked over at Saito-san and asked, "Do you like to play any video games, Saito-san?"

His eyes widened, as if he hadn't expected me to ask him that. He hesitated a moment and then looked away, and I'm not totally sure, but I think he was blushing. "A little."

Ah… that explained it. He was shy. I usually found shyness to be a silly and inconsequential trait, but for some reason, with Saito-san… I found it strangely endearing. I smiled at him and asked, "Would you like to play with us after dinner?"

He looked hesitant. "…I need to practice _kendo_."

Heisuke-kun groaned. "You always practice _kendo_! Why don't you come play video games with us after the meal? Chizuru-chan is going to think you're stuck up!"

I quickly raised my hands in a placating gesture with a small smile. "No, no, I won't think that. It's okay. You can do whatever you want, Saito-san. You don't have to join us if you don't want to, but I would like it if you did."

Saito-san debated it for another moment before he finally nodded. "I will… for a little while."

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

At dinner, everyone was speaking Japanese. I know I'd asked for it, but I wish I'd waited until I'd been studying Japanese for more than a week before I went along with Hijikata-san's plan for total immersion into the language. Still, practice makes perfect, and listening to the guys talk like this was nothing if not lots of practice.

I never tried to take Okita-san's seat by my father. Instead, I always sat by Heisuke-kun and Nagakura-san instead. Okita-san never mentioned it, and thankfully, neither did my father. I had enough to worry about without disturbing the routine of this house even further.

Heisuke-kun was quickly becoming my new best friend in this place. I was really grateful he helped me unpack today. There were a few times where I found something that reminded me of my mom, and it was hard to push my feelings down. Being around Heisuke-kun's smiling face helped me get through those moments.

Harada-kun addressed me in English. "I heard from Kondou-san that you finished unpacking your stuff and your room is all set up now, Chizuru-chan?"

I nodded with a smile. "Yeah. Do you want to see it later?"

"I'd love to," he replied. He was a very friendly guy.

Hijikata-san spoke up, his face set in a disapproving stare toward Harada-kun. "Harada-san, you should speak in Japanese to her. She won't learn if you use English all the time." He actually said this in Japanese, but I was able to understand enough of it that I figured out what he said.

Harada-kun replied to him in Japanese as well. "Chizuru-chan has barely been here a week, Hijikata-san. You should go easy on her."

I attempted to respond in Japanese. "Please don't worry about me. Hearing Japanese will help me learn the language." I completed my sentence with a polite, respectful bow toward Harada-kun and Hijikata-san. "_Daijobu desu_."

Harada-kun looked very impressed, and for a brief moment, just a second, Hijikata-san did, too, but he then covered it with his usual stern expression that I'd come to label as his normal face. "Don't forget the emphasis on _kudasatte_, or your tone is slightly off."

I tried to keep my blushing to a minimum. "_Hai_."

"Chizuru-chan will be speaking Japanese in no time at all," Heisuke-kun praised.

I doubted it, but it was a nice thought. Now that I had my computer set up, I had to make sure I still put in studying time for the language. I could also download a few additional programs and guides and watch some instructional videos on Youtube. Plus, I was technically living with seven native speakers, so it was an ideal learning situation.

Saito-san was kind and always willing to give me a simple answer to any of my questions concerning learning the language of this country. Unlike Heisuke-kun, he didn't go out much and spent most of his time at the dojo when he wasn't at university, so if I ever had a question and needed a quick answer, I could almost always go to him.

Ironically, the person who was the most helpful was the one who seemed like he had a million better things to do than to help me. Hijikata-san was a very busy man, and at first glance, I actually thought he seemed a bit cold. But he had this roundabout way of helping someone without them figuring out that he's helping them, and after a few subtle hints, I finally figured him out.

Hijikata-san acted like a cold leader, but he was a generous sap on the inside.

Granted, he still refused to speak to me in English (another example of his roundabout way of being helpful), but I could always go to him when I needed to challenge myself in learning the language. In fact, over time, I started getting so good at it, Hijikata-san started testing me at random.

"Shiei Hall is an old estate estimated to have been built around two to three hundred years ago," he said, entirely in Japanese. "Do you remember what it was called before it was Shiei Hall?"

He'd been teaching me the history of my father's dojo, all in Japanese, and suddenly I felt like I was back in school again. The hardest part wasn't understanding him, though, because I was definitely learning history. It just took me a long time to figure out how to reply in Japanese.

"Uh… It was the Yagi House, because it belonged to the Yagi samurai family," I said.

Hijikata-san didn't offer words of praise, but he gave me a nod of acknowledgement. "That's right. When the Yagi family allowed the Shinsengumi to stay here, they eventually made it their first headquarters."

There was a pause, so I figured Hijikata-san wanted me to say something to confirm I'd understood him. "That was in 1863," I said.

His lips turned into a small smirk, and he nodded. "Very good."

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

"Souji!" I heard my father say from down the hall. "How are you feeling today?"

I leaned around the corner to look at them just in time to see a particularly strained smile on Okita-san's face. It was the sort of smile one gave when one didn't want to get mad at someone else. Something told me if it had been anyone other than Isami Kondou asking if Okita-san was feeling well, they'd have gotten a snarky remark.

"I'm alright, Kondou-san," Okita-san assured him. "There's nothing to worry about."

My father gave Okita-san his usual megawatt smile and reached over to ruffle his hair. Okita-san's smile turned much more genuine. In fact, I'm pretty sure Okita-san only ever showed that smile to my father.

_He must really admire him for some reason_, I thought.

"That's good to hear," said Father. I decided to stop eavesdropping and just walk toward them, curious about this secret nice side of Okita-san. "Then I wonder if you might do a small favor for me?"

My father's back was to me, so Okita-san could see me, and I saw his smile slip into a frown. He switched his gaze back up to my dad and said, "Sure, what is it?"

"Heisuke had to stay after school today, but I have the younger class right now and can't drive to him," Father explained. "But only if you're feeling better…" I wondered if Okita-san was sick, what with the way Father said that.

"Can I go, too?" I asked, bringing myself into the conversation. Dad turned around and gave me a happy smile, which I returned. His joy was contagious. "I'd like to see where Heisuke-kun goes to school."

"I think that's a good idea," said another voice behind me. I jumped and turned around to see Hijikata-san coming up to us as well. When he reached us, he folded his arms across his chest with his usual serious expression. "It would further immerse her into the language and help her learn more Japanese."

"Hasn't she learned enough?" Okita-san drawled. "She can communicate with us right now."

"Her pronunciation and grammar could still use some work," said Hijikata-san.

Father beamed at the idea. "That's great thinking, Toshi! I'm sure Heisuke will be happy that his friends have come to pick him up from school, too. Is that alright with you, Souji?"

Okita-san made his little half-smirk and said, "Fine by me, but if she gets lost and left behind it's her own fault. I'm not looking for her."

Hijikata-san made a low, irritated sounding growl. "That is _not_ okay, Souji."

"It was a _joke_," Okita-san insisted.

"Try making a joke that actually _sounds_ like one," said Hijikata-san.

I decided to intervene before the little spat could advance into a full-on argument. "It's okay," I said quickly. "I won't get lost. I just want to see Heisuke-kun's school. I'll stay by Okita-san's side the whole time. I promise."

Okita-san raised an eyebrow. "You promise, huh?"

I nodded, my face completely serious. "I always keep my promises."

"It's decided then," Father said happily. "I'll see you when you get back."

It was my first time out of Shiei Hall without my father, and any time he took me out, we always took his car. Apparently, the high school that Okita-san, Saito-san, and Heisuke-kun all went to was within walking distance. Okita-san and I kept to the sidewalk and made our way toward it.

Okita-san was wearing modern clothes for once, now that he was out of the dojo. I hadn't seen him leave Shiei Hall once. I wondered if he ever felt confined to that place. I wondered why he never left. He usually wore the dojo's uniform since he was there all the time—that blue _haori_ jacket with the white triangle pattern on the sleeves in particular.

Now, he was wearing a pair of faded stonewash jeans and a shirt from some Japanese rock band that I wasn't familiar with. At least, it looked like a rock band, but without hearing the music, I couldn't tell. His reddish-brown hair was still tied up in the usual way, with part of the back twisted up in a knot by a white hairband.

I wasn't going to let whatever attitude he might have today bring me down. Instead, I looked around at all the interesting sights as we walked. There was a festival coming up, apparently. Japan was pretty famous for those, but I never imagined actually seeing one, much less going to one. A lot of paper lanterns with symbols painted on them were being set up around Kyoto, and I was so excited, I practically had a skip to my step.

I heard Okita-san's amused chuckle behind me. "Don't get too carried away. We're just going to a school."

"Sorry," I said, looking around with a wide smile. "I've just never seen anything like this. I wonder what it'll look like when all the decorations are set up."

Okita-san looked around, too. "It's for the Gion Festival in a week. Maybe Kondou-san can take you one of the nights so you can see what it's like."

"You think he'd have the time?" I asked him. "It would be really cool if he did."

"I'm sure he'd make the time for you."

I couldn't tell if it was just a plain, honest statement or if there was a little of his spiteful undertones in there. It was hard to say, so I couldn't really think of a response.

We'd almost reached the high school when there was a sudden crash in an alleyway just ahead. I could hear the sounds of a fight around the corner and in the actual alleyway. In an instant, Okita-san was standing in front of me, looking down at me with a serious expression.

"Stay here," he said.

"What? But—"

"If you get in the way, I'll kill you," Okita threatened. "_Stay_."

His tone booked no room for argument. I watched as he disappeared around the corner. I couldn't just stand there, though, so I pressed myself up against the brick wall of whatever the hell this building was and snuck a peek around the edge.

I gasped. Heisuke-kun was stuck in a fight against seven other guys. They were all wearing a different colored school uniform than Heisuke-kun was. Their jumpsuit-style uniforms were dark blue, and Heisuke-kun's school uniform was a medium gray.

Before I even knew what was happening, Okita-san dove into the fight. He strode up behind one of the guys closing in on Heisuke-kun and delivered a heavy punch right into his jaw that made the kid stagger backward and clutch the area in pain. Heisuke-kun used the opportunity to jump up and kick the guy in the head, which sent him crashing into the ground against a turned-over crate which broke on impact. Needless to say, that guy didn't get back up right away.

Heisuke-kun's voice was playful despite the odds being against them. "Just like old times, huh, Souji?"

"They could at least give us a challenge," Okita-san replied. He was grinning as if he were having the time of his life. I had a feeling he was violent with how well he did in swordsmanship, but I never expected that to translate into an actual fight.

America was by no means a peaceful country, but the town I grew up in didn't have fights regularly, and certainly not in back alleys like this. I would have wondered how normal of an occurrence this was if I wasn't so wide-eyed and terrified by what I was seeing.

The remaining bullies took the fight a lot more seriously after that and began to use their numbers to their advantage. They rounded on Heisuke-kun and Okita-san with a vengeance, three on each of them. They held their own for a while, but as soon as I saw Heisuke-kun take a punch near his eye, I felt my voice get caught in my throat as I forced myself not to scream.

I had to do something. I looked around, but there were no adults within sight. I couldn't believe we were right next to a school, and there was no one around to stop this fight. I switched my gaze back to the fight itself in time to see Okita-san being forced into a defensive stance. With three guys ganging up on him at once, all he could do was block.

It was then that I noticed a tin trash can nearby. Without really thinking about what I was doing, I reached for the lid. It was nearly a perfect circle, just a little warped with age, but I was pretty good at Frisbee back in gym class back home. I held it to the side and flung it as hard as I could.

It hit one of the guys ganging up on Okita-san right in the head and then ricocheted into another guy's back. Okita-san used the opportunity of surprise that I'd given him to deliver a swift uppercut to that boy's jaw. He ducked to avoid a punch and then twisted to elbow the other guy in the nose. Blood spurted out, and he staggered backward.

Okita-san quickly moved so he was standing in the space between me and the other attackers. He didn't look at me, but I heard his voice, and I knew he was speaking to me.

"Good work, Chizuru-chan."

His words made my heart leap in my chest at a quickened pace. I'd never felt such a reaction to a boy's words before. One short, simple sentence, and Okita-san had me hanging on every word.

But the fight wasn't over yet, and I had now made myself a target. Completely forgetting about Heisuke-kun, all of the remaining boys from the rival school came after me, and with only Okita-san in the way, he was eventually overwhelmed. One of them managed to get in a very heavy-sounding kick to Okita-san's chest, and the crack that came after that scared me to death.

The scariest part was when the force of it made Okita-san choke on his own blood.

"_Okita-san!"_

I hardly recognized my own voice. I'd never been so terrified before. My body moved on its own, and I threw myself into the fray. I was at Okita-san's side in a fraction of a second, my hand on his back while I stared in horror at the blood dripping down his chin. He didn't seem to notice me as he glared furiously at the boys closing in on us.

"Do you want to die, girl?" one of them asked me. "We'll take care of you next."

Despite being completely terrified, I found myself standing up against them, my body in front of Okita-san's as if I could somehow shield him with my meager, untrained form. "Just try it!" I snapped.

I heard a disbelieving scoff behind me. Suddenly, Okita-san was standing up again, and he pushed me behind him. He raised one hand to wipe the blood from his chin, his green eyes piercing straight through his enemies. "Leave her out of this."

There was a loud scream of pain from the back. Heisuke-kun had managed to find a lead pipe, and he'd hit one of the other kids in the back with it. Without giving the others time to react, he used the pipe to knock one of them in the knees, which made him fall to the ground in tears.

"Shit," cursed one of the boys. All seven of them were at least sporting one injury by this point, but some looked like they were in really bad shape. "This isn't over, Toudou!"

They made their retreat, some sprinting, others limping, but at least they were gone.

My relief was short-lived. As the adrenaline faded, I watched as Okita-san fell into a heavy coughing fit. He collapsed to his knees on the ground. His hand covered his mouth while painful, wet coughs tore their way out of his throat.

I rushed over to him, but he held out his other hand to make me stop. Despite his wheezing and hacking, he managed to glare at me between strands of reddish-brown hair.

"Stay back," he said. He coughed a little more. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine," I protested. "Did that guy break a rib? It might have punctured your lung! If we don't get you to a hospital, you're going to be breathing _blood_."

"Nothing's broken," said Okita-san. He seemed to be getting his coughing under control, but his face was still tight with pain. "I'm fine. Now why the hell didn't you stay put like I asked you to?"

I gaped at him. He was bringing that up _now_? "I couldn't! You and Heisuke-kun were outnumbered! I had to try to help!"

"Have you ever been in a fight before?" Okita-san snapped. He pulled himself up to stand, but with the way his hand was pressed over his ribs, I knew he was still in pain.

"Well, no…"

"You could have got yourself _killed_. What do you think Kondou-san would say if we brought your dead _body_ back home?"

I'd been dealing with Okita-san's passive-aggressive nature for weeks now, but I'd never been on the receiving end of his anger. His words cut me to the bone, making me feel more small and insignificant than I'd ever felt before. I felt tears well up in my eyes. Embarrassed and flustered, I wiped them away before they could fall.

"She was just trying to help, Souji," Heisuke-kun said. He sounded disapproving. I looked over and saw that his right eye was already beginning to swell up from when he was punched pretty hard.

Okita-san was looking at me, his face set in a small frown. Finally, he sighed and said, "Let's just go home."

I nodded, eager to get away from that place. "Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?" I asked. I didn't expect my voice to come out so timid and scared of Okita-san.

I don't think he expected it, either. For once, he actually looked away from me to reply. "It's fine."

That reaction emboldened me, just a little. "It's not fine. You got hurt because you were protecting me. Why would you do something like that?"

Okita-san shifted his green eyes back to me, looking surprised, as if my words had only just registered. Finally, his face settled into a slight smirk as he brought his hand up to his forehead in a slight sigh. "Heh… why _did_ I do that?"

So he didn't know, either. He was always teasing me or telling me he'd kill me—things which would have been borderline psychopathic in normal people. And yet… he'd protected me, stood between a bunch of thugs and me, and he was _hurt_…

"Are you okay, Chizuru-chan?" Heisuke-kun asked. His teal blue eyes looked me over, apparently examining me for injuries. "You're not hurt anywhere, are you?"

"No, I'm okay," I told him. I tried to smile for his sake. "No injuries here. But I think we should get you some ice for that black eye."

The walk back was not as light-hearted and jovial as the walk to the school had been. I asked Heisuke-kun who those guys were, and he told me that they were from a rival high school in another part of Kyoto. Apparently, it wasn't unheard of for fights to break out between boys from two different schools, especially if those schools were athletically competitive. Heisuke-kun was not only a live-in student at Shiei Hall, but he was also captain of his school's _kendo_ team, a title which belonged to Saito-san before him and Okita-san before _him_.

Apparently, because the students who went to that high school typically all studied at Shiei Hall, they were the best in Kyoto, and they got to go to all kinds of competitions throughout the school year. It was a prestigious honor that a lot of rival schools were envious of.

When we made it back to Shiei Hall, I immediately asked Heisuke-kun where the first aid kit was. Surely a dojo had one, after all. He showed me where it was, but Okita-san stalked off before I could offer him any help.

Instead, I made an ice pack for Heisuke-kun's eye. While he held it over his eye, I used a disinfectant on a couple of his scrapes and then applied a soothing, clear-colored ointment that would help with the pain. After that, I applied a few bandages to cover them. They were small injuries, but I still wanted to help.

Heisuke-kun didn't seem to mind. He beamed at me and said, "Thank you, Chizuru-chan."

"Let me know if I wrap this too tight," I told him as I wrapped a white linen bandage around his left hand.

"You're very gentle," Heisuke-kun commented. He was smiling kindly at me, and I found myself returning it, feeling a little better.

"Don't keep the ice pack on too long," I told him. "Just take it easy for the rest of the day, okay?"

He laughed. "No can do. I've got practice tonight."

I frowned. "I'm sure my father would understand. I think you and Okita-san should take a break for tonight."

The smile slipped from Heisuke-kun's face. "Well… Souji should. But good luck making him. He'll only sit out of Hijikata-san forces him to. And then he'll be in a bad mood for the rest of the day."

"Is Okita-san ever in a good mood?"

Heisuke-kun looked adorably confused. "Yeah, all the time, why?"

I tried not to grimace. "No reason." I changed the subject. "Are you going to tell my father what happened?"

"No," Heisuke-kun said, which surprised me. "Kondou-san doesn't want us getting into fights like that. He'd be disappointed that I didn't just walk away. Besides, if we told him every time we got into a fight, he'd never let us out of the house."

I didn't like it, but I didn't want to go against Heisuke-kun's wishes, either. "I won't say anything, but please be more careful, okay? I don't want you getting needlessly hurt, Heisuke-kun."

Heisuke-kun looked away with a small smile, his cheeks tinged a little pink. "Don't worry, Chizuru-chan. I'll be okay."

After I finished helping Heisuke-kun, I took the first aid kid and went upstairs. My room was at the very end of the hallway. The two rooms before it were Heisuke-kun's on the left and Okita-san's on the right.

It was a bit of a strange concept to not knock on doors to ask for entry, like we do in America. Instead, I stood outside Okita-san's door and spoke clearly so he could hear me. "Okita-san? Can I come in?"

Rather than answer me, I heard a faint shuffling about inside the room. The door slid open, and Okita-san stood on the other side. He looked down at me with a wry grin. "Making house calls to my bedroom already? I didn't think you were that kind of girl, Chizuru-chan."

I felt my face heat up in a blush, and I found I couldn't maintain eye-contact. I held up the first aid kit and said, "Do you have any scrapes or bruises or anything? It looked like you got hurt pretty bad, so I wanted to help…"

The smile slipped from his face, and he looked decidedly less pleasant now. "Why?" he asked. "Because I protected you? Don't look too much into that. You're Kondou-san's daughter. That's the only reason."

Well… that hurt. More than I thought it would. I shouldn't have expected otherwise, not from Okita-san, but still…

"You really admire my father, don't you?" I murmured quietly. "Why is that?"

Okita-san's eyes narrowed. "Asking that question just proves you don't know the first thing about Kondou-san. And you don't, do you? You just moved in here because you had nowhere else to go. You don't know any of us, and you don't know Kondou-san. He's your father, but you never had anything to do with him before you needed him."

His words were like a slap in the face. I stared up at Okita-san in shock. "I… what?"

My confusion only seemed to make Okita-san even more irate. "You call him 'Father', and you don't know the first thing about him. If your mom hadn't died, you wouldn't even be here. You don't care about him—you're just here out of necessity."

"Is that what you think?" I asked.

"That's what I see."

My eyes were stinging with unshed tears. I wasn't a crier, not usually, but somehow, Okita-san's words cut more sharply than any knife. He managed to make me feel like a small, worthless piece of shit in just a few sentences.

"I see," I said quietly. My voice was thick. I didn't trust myself to stay in his presence any longer. The last thing I wanted was for Okita-san to see me cry. I all but shoved the first aid kit into his hands and turned toward my room. I walked at a fast pace, entered my room, and closed the door behind me.

Only when I was finally alone did I allow myself to curl up in bed and cry. I wrapped my arms around a cat plushie my mother bought for me years ago while I silently wallowed in my misery.

The worst part wasn't the well-placed stab of Okita-san's words. It was the feeling of fear and self-loathing I felt that he'd been right on the money when he said them.

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

**TK**: So is _Sweet School Life_ actually playable? We have a mini version of it in _Stories of the Shinsengumi_, but I've seen more artwork from it that implies it has its own game. If so, is there an English release or an English patch? Or even just an English translation that I can read, even if I can't play it. I have many skills, but reading Japanese is not one of them.

Discussion time is more of a suggestion this time around.

**Today's topic**: NHK's _Shinsengumi! _J-Drama

Okay, so I admit to going a little overboard after Hakuoki and like, finding every fictional work on the Shinsengumi I can get my hands on. (Two words: _Kaze. Hikaru._ That is all.)

Anyway, _Shinsengumi! _is live-action, and you can find the episodes with Eng sub on Youtube. They're about 45mins each. And they're freakin' awesome. I mean, yeah, Okita is _nothing_ like how he is in Hakuoki, but in spite of that, I really enjoyed the live action series.

It kinda reminds me of like, MASH but with samurai. Ya feel me?

And to anyone who _has_ seen it, doesn't Kondou have like, the most amazing smile you've ever seen? XD I swear it's like, contagious or something.


	4. Sickness and Health

**Important information**: This is a _personalized_ story, meaning (like the game), Chizuru's name is in here as a _**placeholder**_. It is not actually about Chizuru herself. So if you want, feel free to download the story and **replace** _Yukimura_ with a last **name of your choice** and _Chizuru_ with whatever first name you want. The Protagonist has a basic personality and is never physically described, specifically for that purpose.

That way, you can give her whatever name you want and hopefully project yourself onto her.

**[**Okita x Protagonist – Modern day AU. A new home, a new family, a new country—and who said anything about learning Japanese?**]**

To _Guest Too_ since I can't reply to you with a PM, I think it's freakin' stupendous that you see Katori Shingo's face when you read my story! XD I picture that megawatt smile of his every time I write about it. It's just too fantastic! Power level of over 9000. Thank you very much for reviewing!

And my other _Guest_, I'm not a Chizuru fan, either. It grinds my gears every time I have to type her name in this story, but I can't very well call her 'Protagonist', can I? XD Thanks so much for your review.

**TK:** Fun fact: the house/dojo/estate/whatever (Shiei Hall in this story) is loosely based on the layout of the Kiryu/Tachibana House in Fatal Frame II: Crimson Butterfly. So that 'staircase room'? Yeah, that's totally where that ghost lady divebombs off the top of the stairs and crawls after you upside-down. Ah, inspiration in the strangest of places.

_Don't be too hard on Souji, guys. He's going through a tough time :)_

* * *

_**Sweet Silver Lining**_

_TK Grimm_

* * *

**Chapter Four:**

**Sickness and Health**

* * *

My personal pity party over Okita-san's harsh words lasted the rest of the night. If Okita-san had said them in part to make me leave him alone, then they'd achieved the desired effect. I kept my distance enough that I only ever saw him at mealtime, and even then I didn't sit near him, so I didn't have him in my direct line of sight.

I was finished feeling sorry for myself, though. Instead, I felt poorly for my father. As cruel as his wording was, Okita-san had raised a fair point, one that I had been too self-absorbed in my own problems to have ever noticed.

I didn't know much about my father. Having lived here a while, I knew he was a kind man who treated his dojo like family, but there was a lot more to a person than just that outer surface. I'd spent so much time feeling sorry for myself and crying over my mother that I never stopped to look at the parent I still had.

One that had always been there, at least over the phone, but I had been too busy to have time for.

And so, I started spending more time with my father, and not just to ask questions about Japan or daily life. I started asking him about himself.

"What's your favorite food?"

Father didn't mind my interest or curiosity. He was always eager to spend his free time with me. "_Nikujaga_," he said. "We had it a few nights ago. It's a stew with tender, sweet beef and potatoes."

"_Ohh_, that was really _good_," I said, my eyes widening for a moment as I remembered the meal. It turned out, there were a lot of things I didn't know about my father. I had endless questions. "So have you lived at Shiei Hall your whole life?"

"Ah, no, actually," he answered. The two of us were sitting side-by-side on the outdoor walkway overlooking the Japanese stone garden between the house and the dojo. Our feet were dangling over the edge, though his were much longer than mine. "My family owns a farm near Tokyo. It came as a surprise when the previous owner named me his successor."

"That must have been a pretty big honor," I said, genuinely impressed.

"It was," Father agreed. "Such things are usually kept in the family, but for this place, it makes sense to keep it with the students. It preserves its original purpose."

"That makes sense," I said. "I can't see you living anywhere else, though."

He chuckled at that. "Me either. I'll always be here, even when I pass it on to the next master."

"Do you have someone in mind?" I asked.

Dad brought his hand up to his chin and gazed ahead with a serious, thoughtful expression. In times like these, without his goofy smile, he really looked like an old samurai lord. But then he'd start grinning at me again and patting me on the head, and I'd forget all about how powerful he actually was.

"You know, I always thought for years I would leave it to Souji," he confided in me. His voice was low, leading me to think he'd never told anyone this before. "But ever since he got sick, he stopped going to college, and now he hardly even leaves the house. Sometimes I think he just doesn't want it anymore." Dad's hazel eyes drifted down to the white sand in the garden. "I wonder if I've done something to make him lose faith in me."

My lips parted in shock, and I heard my breath hitch in my throat. "Dad—no—that's not it at all."

He looked at me, needing clarification.

I fidgeted with the sleeve of my shirt a little. "I mean… I don't know him _too _well, but Okita-san really admires you. You're the only one he smiles at."

Father chuckled a bit and shook his head. "Souji is always smiling."

"He's always smirking or grinning or laughing at you inside his head," I corrected. "But he shows a real, genuine smile when he looks at you. It's almost like… like he sees _you_ as a father."

"Me?" he asked, bewildered.

I nodded to him. "I don't know for sure, but that's what I see. I don't know why he does all that other stuff, but you shouldn't doubt his admiration for you. Maybe he's just… having a hard time with something right now."

Father looked down again, and I saw his shoulders slump a little. "I wish he would talk to me about it. Souji used to tell me everything."

"Maybe he doesn't want you to worry about him," I suggested. "Maybe he wants you to see him as strong. Like, maybe he thinks you won't worry if you think he's reliable."

I wasn't sure by any means, but it made a lot of sense, if that was the case. My father must have thought so, too, because he beamed at me and patted me on the head affectionately. "You're probably right, Chizu-chan. Thank you for telling me this. For a while, I was worried that you and Souji weren't getting along, but I'm so, so happy to see that isn't the case."

"Eh? I didn't say we—"

"Come on," Father interrupted as he got up to stand. "Let's go make some rice porridge with _daikon _radish. It's Souji's favorite."

"But I…"

My protest died on my lips as my father pulled me along by my hand toward the kitchen. Heisuke-kun and Saito-san were already in there making lunch, as it was their turn on Sundays since they didn't have class. I didn't know what had gotten into my father to make him want to make Okita-san a special lunch (we usually all ate the same thing at mealtime), but I didn't ask.

"Aw, I want a special lunch," Heisuke-kun complained.

"What would you like, Heisuke-kun?" I asked. I was all about fairness. If Okita-san got a special lunch, then we should all get to choose what we want.

"Wow, really, Chizuru-chan?" Heisuke-kun said happily. "I want ramen with extra pork."

"We don't have time or ingredients to make everyone a special order, Heisuke," Saito-san said calmly. His sleeves were pulled up while he chopped spring onions and dropped them into a stir fry pan.

"But Chizuru-chan offered…"

I hadn't _actually_ offered, but I guess I did kind of infer it. Fair's fair, I suppose. I looked at Heisuke-kun and offered a compromise. "Well, it's my turn to help cook tomorrow with Harada-kun, so how about I make your ramen with extra pork then?"

Heisuke-kun made a whining sound, but he was smiling, so I knew he was okay with it. "Sure, if Chizuru-chan insists."

"There we go!" said my father. "Ah, Hajime-kun, where is the salt? You know Souji likes extra."

Saito-san offered the seasoning over as he said, "You spoil him too much, Kondou-san. All that salt is bad for his health."

Father laughed as he scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "I know, but he said he can't taste it unless the flavor is extra strong, and he hardly eats anymore anyway. I feel bad…"

"People need to eat to keep up their strength," I said, putting my two cents in. "If giving him extra salt is the way to get him to eat, then I say take the lesser of two evils. Better he gets some extra salt than not getting any nutrition at all."

Saito-san closed his eyes and nodded. "Ah… I suppose you're right, Chizuru-san."

I smiled at him. "You're right, too. All that salt is unhealthy, but he's got to eat."

"That's right," Father said as he poured a bowl of the daikon porridge. He placed two chopsticks on top and then offered it to me on a tray with some tea. "Would you take this to Souji's room, please? I'm going to clean these dishes I just made."

I frowned. "To Okita-san's room? Isn't he eating with us?"

"Doctor Matsumoto is here giving Souji a checkup right now," Saito-san explained. He didn't take his eyes off the stir fry he was cooking. "He might not be finished for some time, so it would be better to take Souji's food to him just in case."

I looked down at the tray in my hands. It was a small, modest meal, but I guess they didn't expect Okita-san to eat much. Heisuke-kun sat between Okita-san and I, so I never noticed before how much (or how little) Okita-san actually ate.

The others went back to their jobs, so it was kind of unspoken that I was to leave to take Okita-san his lunch. I headed toward the stairs with my face set in a worried frown. The last time I'd gone to his room, he'd said some pretty cold things to me. I wasn't exactly looking forward to going to his room again, especially if he was meeting with a doctor. In this day and age, it was rare for doctors to make house calls.

At the top of the stairs, I went down the hallway to the left and then stopped at the last room on the right. It was just before my room, which was at the very end of the hallway. I was about to ask permission to enter, but I stopped when I heard an old man's voice.

"I'm sorry, Okita-kun, but your tuberculosis seems to be coming back."

My eyes widened, my breath caught in my throat, and my foot stopped in mid-step. I was frozen with shock to the point of nearly losing my grip on the wooden lunch tray. I stood there, horrified, as Okita-san responded.

"Ah… I was afraid of that." In spite of the gravity of the situation, the words of the doctor, everything, Okita-san sounded like he was… smiling. He took this news with the air of someone chuckling at childish antics. As if it were a lighthearted joke, no big deal at all. "Oh well."

"This is serious, Okita-kun," said Doctor Matsumoto. I wondered what he looked like. He sounded quite old. "If you don't start eating right and taking your medicine daily, you could very well slip into a relapse and even die."

"It comes and goes," Okita-san protested. "I was fine for months and now suddenly I've got a bit of a cough again. It'll pass, just like it always does."

"That's _only_ if you take care of yourself," Doctor Matsumoto said. "You could _beat_ this, Okita-kun. You need to stop with the swordplay and take your health seriously or you will never recover."

I knew the answer before Okita-san opened his mouth. "No can do. Kendo is all I have left. It's the only thing keeping me sane. If I'm going to die, I'd rather die fighting."

Doctor Matsumoto let out a long, drawn-out sigh. He must've known the answer already, too. "I can't stop you, but I can tell Kondou-san to take you out of the lineup."

"_What_?" If I thought Okita-san sounded angry when he yelled at me, it was nothing compared to the fury I heard in his voice now. "You can't do that!"

"I won't have to if you start taking care of yourself," said the Doctor. He sounded patient, but tired. "Okita-kun… no one wants to see you suffer. If you have to continue your kendo, then you have to also take your medicine and eat right. Get enough rest. Do that, and I won't mention anything to Kondou-san about this."

There was a pause, and finally, I heard Okita-san speak. "…Fine," he said, defeated. "I'll try."

"That's all I can ask. I'll leave the medicine with Kondou-san. Farewell, Okita-kun."

Okita-san didn't reply as Doctor Matsumoto excused himself from his room. When he emerged into the hallway, he seemed surprised to see me, and a little flustered. He was an older man, like I'd thought, with a bald head and a surprisingly gentle expression. He gave me a brief bow of acknowledgement, which I returned with my head as I was still holding the tray. Then, he left.

I stood there for a moment longer, my heart twisted into a conflicted mess. Okita-san had tuberculosis? I didn't know the first thing about health, but that was one of the most infamous diseases in history. It was extremely rare nowadays, though.

Suddenly, everything made sense. I knew now why Okita-san never left the house. Sure, I'd figured out that he was sick a while ago, but I never imagined it was something like this. It explained his coughing up blood on the day of the fight at Heisuke-kun's school. It explained his weakened sense of taste. It even explained why kendo meant so much to him—it was all he had.

"Chizuru-chan."

My eyes widened. He knew I was there?

"…You can come inside now. It's okay."

There was no point in hiding it. Carefully, I moved toward his door and slid it open. My eyes were on the tray in my hands. When I looked up, I saw Okita-san smirking at me. He was sitting on his bed with his legs crossed with one eyebrow raised as he looked down with that knowing, snarky half-smile of his.

"There's a good girl," he said. He patted the spot on the bed next to him. "Come on over here."

I wordlessly made my way over to him and sat down next to him on the bed. The wooden tray with his meal was sitting on my lap, still steaming hot. I looked down at it, finding myself at a loss for words. My tongue felt thick in my throat, and the backs of my eyes burned. I couldn't even bring myself to look at him. If I did, I'd probably start crying.

"I wouldn't worry too much about what Doctor Matsumoto says," Okita-kun told me. His tone was playful, as if he were taking it all as one big joke. "You know doctors like to tell you the worst possible thing to scare you into taking health seriously."

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I closed it and gnawed on my lower lip.

Okita-san tried again. "I mean, do I look like I'm sick to you? I'm perfectly fine. Sure, I have T.B., but it's mostly manageable these days. I'll be fine after I rest for a few days. No problem. So… so there's no reason to tell Kondou-san about any of this."

Ah… so that was the reason he was telling me all of this. He didn't want me to tell my father. I tried to speak, but my voice sounded thick. "Father is just worried about you. He cares for you a lot. He made this for you himself and asked me to bring it to you."

"He did, huh?" said Okita-san. When I offered the tray over to him, he accepted it and set it on his lap.

I stood up, wanting to leave before he saw me cry. I lowered my head in a sort of mini-bow, mostly so he couldn't see my eyes. "I won't tell anyone what I heard, Okita-san. I promise. Just please take care of yourself."

I chanced a glance at him. Okita-san tilted his head to the side, watching me with a small smile. It wasn't quite his genuine one that he showed only to my father, but it was better than his usual condescending smirks. "Thank you, Chizuru-chan."

I nodded and quickly left the room.

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

I kept my word and didn't tell anyone that Okita-san's tuberculosis was attacking him again. I didn't like it, but I'd made a promise, and even though I didn't know him very well, I could see how much it meant to him that no one worried over him. For that reason alone, I found that I just couldn't go against Okita-san's wishes.

I spent a good portion of the day researching tuberculosis on the internet. Apparently a few cases of it turn up to this day, even in America. It's easier to take care of now, and it's technically curable (though it can come back in people who have had it before), so people still manage to live full lives with it. Some cases end in death, but most managed to live their lives dealing with the symptoms. It wasn't like back in the day when there weren't any antibiotics to fight back.

Still, I didn't want Okita-san to suffer a relapse. I knew he wasn't the nicest person in the world, but he also wasn't half as mean as he pretended to be. If he was, he would never have protected me that day, and he wouldn't idolize my father that much.

I guess… somehow, he'd managed to win me over, even though I'd been trying to do the opposite to him. Now, I knew he didn't want me around, but I couldn't help but seek him out anyway. He never commented on it. He just sort of… dealt with it like one deals with an annoying sibling.

More time passed by, and eventually, November arrived. With it came Heisuke-kun's eighteenth birthday. For the event, my father organized a night out for everyone at the house at an expensive bar in Shimabara called Sumiya. Shimabara was a district in southern Kyoto, and Sumiya was one of those fancy, private bars where you didn't just get your own booth to drink in, you got your own _room_.

It also happened to be a gentleman's lounge, which was a fancy way of saying 'rich person's strip club'. Most of the waitresses dressed like geishas, and the private rooms were equipped with a long table and two poles for dancing, should the patrons request it.

My father had apparently only been thinking of Heisuke-kun when he made the plans. "This is where I took Souji and Hajime-kun for their eighteenth birthday, too."

"That's cool," I replied, looking around the place. It was modeled like an Edo period brothel, and I could even hear shamisen music coming from one of the private rooms. But another private room had left the door cracked open, and I saw a very naked woman dancing on a table for some rather sleazy-looking men.

"But, ah… I forgot you would want to go with us," Father said sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Chizu-chan. We're not using to having a lady with us."

"Hey, no problem," I said, lifting my hands momentarily. "Don't pay me any mind. I'm kinda curious to see what goes on in this place anyway."

I could hear the amusement dripping from Okita-san's voice. "Hmm~? Is that so?"

I tried to shrug in a nonchalant way, but I was pretty sure I felt myself blushing. "Well, yeah. Try anything once, right?"

His smirk widened. "Sure."

Saito-san, who was the last person I expected in a place like this, stood on my other side. "Don't hold back out of politeness. You're one of us now, so feel free to enjoy yourself and have a nice time."

I smiled happily at him. "Thank you. I will."

The three most excited about the event were Heisuke-kun, Harada-kun, and Nagakura-san. Being the tallest in the group, Nagakura-san pushed his way between those two and slung his arms over their shoulders in a friendly manner. "This is gonna be so awesome! I love it when someone else is paying!"

Behind them, Hijikata-san made a quiet scoff of disbelief. "As if you've ever paid for anything when we go out."

"Come on, everyone!" said Father in his loud, bright voice. "Let's all have a good time!"

There were no exotic dancers in our private room, but we did have a geisha serving woman. Her name was Kimigiku, and she was everything a beautiful geisha should be. She was calm, graceful, and had a beautiful smile. She had a way with words that made it seem like everything you said was important. She was very good at her job.

Whenever one of the guys needed a refill on their sake, she came over with a ceramic flask of it and poured some for them. She was so graceful that she never spilled a single drop, even when some of the guys, like Heisuke-kun and Nagakura-san, could no longer hold their sake dishes steady.

Kimigiku was the personification of Japanese perfection in a woman, and I was in awe of her.

Despite this being a surprisingly classy establishment, it didn't take long for our rowdy group to get back into its usual lively mood.

"This fancy sake is the _best_!" Heisuke-kun gushed.

"Right?" Nagakura-san agreed. "The stuff at home just doesn't compare!"

The seating arrangements weren't the same as they usually were at mealtimes back in Shiei Hall. This time, everyone kind of just sat down wherever they pleased. The two seats that remained the same were my father and Hijikata-san being at the front. But this time, I sat closest to my father facing Harada-kun, who sat closest to Hijikata-san. Next to me was Okita-san (which surprised me) and then Saito-san. Heisuke-kun and Nagakura-san sat across from them.

Harada-kun and Nagakura-san were clearly best friends, but it was cool that they'd taken Heisuke-kun under their wing like they had. They treated him like a kid sometimes, but most of the time, he was just another of the guys. They included him on everything. I really liked their friendship.

"How do you like the sake, Chizuru-chan?" Harada-kun asked me. He had a curious smile on his face, and I saw traces of amusement in his amber-colored eyes.

Truthfully, I'd been a little too nervous to try it. I'd never had sake before, and I'd always heard it was pretty strong. I don't think I'd ever live it down if I choked on it or something.

"Uh, well, I haven't tried it yet," I admitted. I didn't want to lie, after all.

"Oh, that won't do," Harada-kun said with a sly smile. He reached across the long, narrow table between us with a _tokkuri_ sake flask in his hand. Harada-kun had this strange charisma about him that made him really likable. He was also a very attractive man, and judging by the way he often had women gazing longingly at him, I wasn't the only person who thought so.

I hesitantly lifted up my cup. It was a small, cylinder-shaped cup called an _ochoko_. Without taking his eyes off me, Harada-kun expertly poured a little bit of sake into the cup. I hardly noticed. It was one of those stares that you couldn't really look away from.

When he lowered the _tokkuri_ flask, I looked down at the sake in my hands and braced myself. I glanced up and saw that Harada-kun had his own _ochoko_ partially raised. He smiled teasingly at me and said, "Cheers?" in English.

I blushed and giggled. "Cheers," I said. With newfound courage, I raised the cup to my lips and took a sip. It burned a little, but I'd had a taste of some hard liquor back in America, so I wasn't completely caught off guard. I managed to keep it down.

It was lucky that I'd paid attention to the guys while they drank their sake. I noticed that none of them drank it like a shot glass like I'd originally assumed. Sake was apparently meant to be sipped. If I'd tried to down my _ochoko_ like a shot, I'd probably have coughed up a lung.

It had a surprisingly pleasant aftertaste for being so icky on the way down. I looked down at my cup with my eyebrows raised. "Okay, that was actually pretty good."

That earned me a few laughs from the men in the room, and I chuckled along with them.

"Can I just say," Nagakura-san began. His words were starting to slur a little. "You're okay, you know that? Chizuru-chan. You're nothing like the other girls, you know? You're like… fun and you go drinking with us and hang out and stuff."

Must've been his way of saying I was 'chill'. I laughed. "Err, thanks, Nagakura-san."

"No!" he said. "No, no. You call me _Shinpachi_. You're one of my guys now, Chizuru-chan! One of the guys."

Hijikata-san made a loud, exasperated sigh, but I was having a hard time keeping my laughter under control. "Okay, thanks!"

"She's not _one of the guys_, Shinpachi," Hijikata-san said disapprovingly. "Chizuru is Kondou-san's daughter and should be treated appropriately."

"_Whaaaat~_?" Heisuke-kun whined. "But she doesn't want that! She wants to be one of the guys!"

"I like being one of the guys," I said, nodding. "Girls are smelly."

That comment threw Heisuke-kun and Shinpachi-san into drunken chuckles. I even heard a snicker from Okita-san, which I considered an achievement unlocked. I'd made him laugh!

Harada-kun raised an eyebrow, looking amused. "Girls are—Chizuru-chan, _you're_ a girl."

"Yeah, but she acts like one of the guys!" Shinpachi-san insisted. "Can you imagine Chizuru-chan in a kimono? She'd be—" he broke off suddenly, and his eyes widened as he stared at me.

I furrowed my brow. "Eh?" Almost mechanically, all of the heads in the room slowly turned toward me. I shrank back on the mat I was sitting on with rising embarrassment. "_EH_? Are you imagining me in a kimono?"

Heisuke-kun leapt off of his seat and pointed at me with wide eyes. "That's it! I have to see this _now_!"

"Chizuru-chan in a kimono!" Shinpachi-san agreed as he held up his sake in a cheer.

"Stop picturing it!" I cried.

"I think Chizuru-san would look very pretty in a kimono," said Kimigiku, the geisha woman, with a lovely smile.

It wasn't like I dressed like a boy all the time. I wore skirts and stuff. It was just easier to wear pants. But I'd never once thought about putting on a kimono. I wouldn't know how. And I certainly didn't _own_ one.

I folded my arms across my chest and looked down, blushing. "Well, I don't have a kimono, so you're going to have to use your imagination."

"Oi, Kimigiku-san!" said Shinpachi-san. "Can you dress Chizuru-chan up in a kimono for us?"

"_What_?" I cried.

I looked to my father for help, but he looked absolutely delighted by the idea. "Oh, yes, please, Kimigiku-san. I would love to see my daughter dressed in a kimono."

Hijikata-san tried to intervene. "Kondou-san, if Chizuru doesn't want to—"

Kimigiku raised a delicate hand and said, "Please, it is no trouble at all. Chizuru-san, if you would please follow me, I would be happy to take you to a changing room."

I looked around helplessly. "What? But I…"

My eyes landed on Okita-san, who was taking a sip of sake from a saucer-like dish called a _sakazuki_. He glanced at me with a smirk while Kimigiku led me away. "Try anything once, right? Chizuru-chan."

The bastard was using my words against me! His smug expression was the last thing I saw as I was pulled out of the private room.

Kimigiku led me into a large room full of many different kimonos of all sizes and colors. Luckily, I'd taken to learning Japanese like a camel takes to water, lapping up every little bit that I could, so I was to the point now where I could understand her without assistance.

"This purple color will be best suited for you," she told me. "Ah, and this _kanzashi_ to match. Oh, and don't forget this…"

By the time she was done, I was certain a good half hour had passed, if not more. She showed me a mirror, but I hardly recognized myself. I had heavy, dramatic eyeliner painted on by hand, and my eyes were shaded red in the corners. My hair had been pulled up into an elaborate twist with a flowery hair pin on the side. The silken kimono bore a pattern of flowers, and its medium shade of purple really did look nice.

That being said, it was such a strange style of clothing that I couldn't help but feel silly. I didn't want to go back to the guys and have them all see me like this. I was embarrassed and nervous, and I didn't doubt for a second that it showed on my face.

Kimigiku stood outside the _fusuma _door to our private room. "Please pardon me for the wait," she said in her lovely accent. "She is all finished."

Kimigiku slid open the door, and I looked down at the ground, unable to meet any of their eyes. I heard several startled gasps, though, and it brought my attention up to them. Every man in that room was staring at me with wide eyes and shocked expressions.

"I-is that you, Chizuru-chan?" Heisuke-kun asked.

Saito-san was the first to recover, though he seemed unable to look me in the eyes now. "It's her."

I hesitantly stepped into the room. My face felt like it was on fire; I was blushing like mad. "I…it's me."

"What a change!" Harada-kun said with a smile. "You look beautiful, Chizuru-chan."

"Damn right she does!" Shinpachi-san exclaimed.

"Chizuru-chan is pretty!" Heisuke agreed.

"It sure is a change," Okita-san agreed. I gasped and looked over at him immediately. He seemed to have recovered from his initial shock and was smirking at me again. "I hardly recognized you."

Even my father was overcome by my change in appearance. "My little Chizu-chan has grown into such a beautiful young woman!" He dabbed at his eyes, smiling happily.

Kimigiku looked at me with a gentle smile. "Would you like to try pouring sake for one of them, Chizuru-san?"

"I-I—um…" My eyes slowly drifted over the guys while my heart pounded in my chest. I couldn't help it—I looked at Okita-san for a moment. In that brief moment, I wanted to be that Japanese woman ideal. I wanted to pour sake into his cup for him to drink and earn a smile, even if it was a little one.

"Ah, yes, Chizu-chan," my father encouraged. "Why don't you give it a try? Souji, do you need more sake?"

Okita-san opened his mouth to speak, but Heisuke-kun beat him to it. His arm shot up with his empty _sakazuki_ dish in his hand. "I do! Please refill mine, Chizuru-chan!"

"Of course!" my father said. "Chizu-chan, will you try? For Heisuke's birthday?"

Well, when he put it _that_ way, I couldn't really refuse. I pushed my silly, stupid thoughts about Okita-san out of my mind and sat down on my knees next to Heisuke-kun. I'm pretty sure both of our faces were as red as tomatoes as I lifted up a _tokkuri_ flask filled with warm sake. I poured a little into his dish and then lowered the flask with a smile.

"That was very good," Kimigiku complimented me. She sat down between Hijikata-san and my father and smiled at me.

"Thank you, Chizuru-chan," Heisuke-kun said after he sipped his sake.

"S-sure," I stammered. I looked around, wondering what I was supposed to do next.

I was surprised when Okita-san suddenly spoke. His voice came out with his usual joking tone. "_Ne_~? How do you expect Chizuru-chan to eat if she's stuck pouring sake all night?"

"Oh!" Dad exclaimed. "Of course! Chizu-chan, you may return to your dinner. It's not fair for us to keep you from eating."

It was an escape route if I ever saw one. I carefully stood up and ducked over to my seat between my father and Okita-san. My shoulders sagged with relief once I sat down. I discretely leaned a little toward Okita-san and murmured quietly to him. "Thank you."

"Hmm?" he teased. "Since you're sitting next to me, you could always pour my sake when you're not eating."

My jaw dropped. Had this all been a ploy to get me to pour his drinks? I didn't know if I should feel insulted or flattered.

But then, Okita-san raised his _sakazuki_ dish, and almost robotically, as if my body were moving on auto-pilot, I lifted the flask of sake and poured him a drink. Our eyes met, and for that short moment, everything around me blurred away. All I saw was Okita-san's face, his vibrant green eyes, as I became numb to the rest of the world. Okita-san watched me with a small smirk for a moment before he brought the dish to his lips and took a sip.

"Hey, that's not fair!" Shinpachi-san complained. "Why does Souji get to sit by Chizuru-chan?"

"Chizuru-chan, you can come sit by us!" Heisuke-kun tried. "We'll make room for you!"

"Will you two shut up and let the lady sit where she wants?" Harada-kun said. Despite his tone, he was grinning rather mysteriously at them, as if he were in on some private joke the rest of us didn't know.

"But—"

Not wanting any arguments over who I was pouring drinks for, I decided to intervene. "As soon as I'm finished eating, I'll help Kimigiku-san and pour drinks for anyone who wants one." I'd somehow managed to snap out of the daze Okita-san had put me in, but I was still blushing like mad. I set down the flask of sake and resumed my meal so I wouldn't have to look anyone in the eyes.

"We should do this more often," my father said while he waved his small fan in front of him. I never realized how many people carried fans in Japan, even in this day and age. "It's nice to get everyone out of the house for a night out like this."

Hijikata-san lowered his sake dish from his lips with a small smile as he replied to my father. "Yes, it has been nice." I watched Kimigiku pour him another drink with a level of grace that I could only dream about having.

I finished my meal, which had gotten a little cold but was still good, and placed my chopsticks back onto the tray in front of me. I reached for the _tokkuri_ flask between Okita-san and I, only for my hands to meet his at the same time. We'd both reached for it, and it made us look at each other again. I held his gaze for only a fraction of a second before I picked up the flask and said a soft, "Allow me."

For once, Okita-san said nothing as he allowed me to pour him a drink. I didn't look at him this time. It'd have been humiliating if I got lost in his eyes again and spilled sake over both of us. Instead, I focused on the task at hand and poured his drink with due care.

"Souji!" Father said, intrigued. "When Chizu-chan pours you sake like that, you look like a samurai and she, your geisha!"

I looked up at my father in protest, but Kondou merely smiled at me, oblivious to my embarrassment.

Okita-san, on the other hand, merely smirked as he took a sip from his _sakazuki_. When he lowered it, he said, "I come from a long line of samurai. Chizuru-chan can be my geisha if she wants."

My head whipped around so I could gape at Okita-san like a fish. I didn't have time to voice any complaints, though, because Heisuke-kun beat me to it.

"What! Souji! Stop hogging Chizuru-chan! You can't _keep_ her!"

Okita-san downed the rest of his sake and shot Heisuke-kun a rather condescending, smug look. "I'm not 'hogging' her. She just happens to be sitting next to me. If you're so jealous, Heisuke, why don't you sit by her next time?"

"I usually do," Heisuke-kun grumbled. "And I'm not jealous!"

"I am," Shinpachi-san complained. "I want Chizuru-chan to pour my sake!"

"Eh?" I said, panicked. "Sure, give me just a moment."

"Stop ordering her around, Shinpachi!" Harada-kun said as he whacked his friend on the head. "She's not your servant!"

Shinpachi-san held the top of his head in pain while he sent Harada-kun a very confused look. "But I thought she was pretending to be our geisha…"

A wry sort of smile spread over Harada-kun's face while he eyed me from the corner of his eyes. "Actually, she's pretending to be _Souji's _geisha."

My eyes widened. "But I'm not—"

"That's right, she is," Okita-san interrupted. He kept his smug grin on Heisuke-kun and Shinpachi-san while he held his _sakazuki_ dish slightly to the side, toward me. "Find your own geisha."

I fumbled for a bit, but what could I do? I'd never been so… _obedient_ before. What the hell was Okita-san doing to me? How did he acquire this stupid power over me to make me do what he wanted? I was powerless to disobey and merely lifted the _tokkuri_ flask to refill his sake. When he rewarded me with that half-smile of his, his eyes meeting mine while he took a slow, steady sip, I felt my heart leap in my chest.

Oh no. This is bad. It was all becoming clear to me, and I knew it was a downhill slope from here.

"But I want Chizuru-chan," Heisuke-kun whined.

Saito-san, who was seated on the opposite side of Okita-san, made a noise of disapproval. "You shouldn't sound so needy, Heisuke."

Kimigiku raised her hand and giggled behind it daintily. "My, you sure are popular with these gentlemen, Chizuru-san."

I tore my gaze away from Okita-san's and awkwardly laughed. "A-heh-heh… not really…"

The rest of the night was much the same. We didn't get any exotic dancers, though that probably would have taken some of the spotlight off of me. At the end of the night, Kimigiku helped me out of the kimono and back into my regular clothes. I was all too happy to get out of there and get back to the comfort of my bedroom in Shiei Hall.

As I lay in bed that night, I groaned loudly at the terrible realization that had occurred to me in Shimabara earlier. I had just done an unforgivably girly thing.

I'd developed a crush on Souji Okita.

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

_**Note from TK:** _Please review. Really, please consider it. I poured my time and effort into writing, proofreading, and generally slaving over it to make something I believe others will enjoy. It's a part of my soul that I pulled out, put on paper, and have now given to you.

And you've accepted it. Liked it, hated it, were indifferent—that's totally within your rights, but please let me know. It doesn't take much time or effort; just a few simple words to show you're reading and that maybe you want more.

If trading is more your thing, then by all means. I love to read. Tell me your story, and I'll be more than happy to return the favor. All stories need more love, and this world is beautiful in that there's plenty of love to go around.

So don't be selfish. Be the amazing person that all of us should strive to be. Here's a piece of my soul that you accepted. If you don't review, it's because you chose not to. You read and decided not to say thank you, when it's the polite thing to do. Everyone, no matter what nationality (except Dothraki), always says thank you when given something.

So _thank you_. Thank you for taking the time to read my work. Thank you for being so awesome, my dear, friendly readers.

* * *

**Today's topic**: Alternate Universe (AU) Stories

Love em or hate em?

Do you write AU? Do you read AU?

What do you like/dislike about them?

**Bonus question**: Favorite AU story you've read? In the Hakuoki fandom, I'd like to recommend **"Fateful" by Inuys-hispanicgirl**. Check it out :D


	5. Night Terrors

**Important information**: This is a _personalized_ story, meaning (like the game), Chizuru's name is in here as a _**placeholder**_. It is not actually about Chizuru herself. So if you want, feel free to download the story and **replace** _Yukimura_ with a last **name of your choice** and _Chizuru_ with whatever first name you want. The Protagonist has a basic personality and is never physically described, specifically for that purpose.

That way, you can give her whatever name you want and hopefully project yourself onto her.

**[**Okita x Protagonist – Modern day AU. A new home, a new family, a new country—and who said anything about learning Japanese?**]**

To _Guest Too_: Your reviews put me on cloud nine every time. By RK do you mean Rurouni Kenshin? That happens to be my favorite. Also, I agree with you in that AUs are best when there are little references to the original work. Harada and Nagakura being police officers is such a tiny, minor thing, but that it is noticed and appreciated... thank you very much for your words. I hope this story lives up to your expectations.

**TK:** If you're interested in reading an AMAZING character analysis of Okita Souji, go to google and type in "**Femservice Okita Souji**" and click on the first entry. I actually recommend that article to _anyone_ who is trying to write Okita's character, because it really helps you get into his head and stay true to his personality and motives. I see a lot of people struggle with Okita or write him incorrectly or misinterpret his actions, and reading this article will probably do wonders, even for more experienced writers.

* * *

_**Sweet Silver Lining**_

_TK Grimm_

* * *

**Chapter Five:**

**Night Terrors**

* * *

My terrible revelation a few nights ago didn't do me any favors. Now that I knew I was developing a stupid schoolgirl crush, I couldn't get the idea out of my head. Any time I saw Okita-san after that, my heart would quicken its pace, and I'd feel the beginnings of a blush coming on.

I spent more time with everyone else after that, mostly because I was desperate to forget about it. The sooner I moved on from my stupid girly crush, the sooner things would go back to normal at the house. Well, to everyone else, it still was normal. I was the only one fumbling about and stammering when Okita-san so much as looked my way.

It drove me nuts.

One afternoon, while I was chilling in the back with Shinpachi-san and Harada-kun, I'd finally found a cure that helped me forget all about it. Music worked wonders for relieving stress and just distracting me from the world.

Harada-kun was a great singer. Whenever the three of us hung out together, they always had me get out my guitar, and I always agreed on the condition that Harada-kun would sing.

"You have such a great voice," I complimented. "Have you ever been in a band before?"

Harada-kun chuckled and shook his head. "Only my car and maybe the shower."

"That counts," I said, nodding seriously before bursting out in giggles at the thought of Harada-kun singing in the shower. Sometimes, I wished I had a crush on him instead of Okita-san. I bet Harada-kun would make some woman very happy someday. He was the perfect husband.

"You used to be in a band, right?" Shinpachi-san asked me.

I nodded and started strumming another song softly on the guitar. My fingertips were a little calloused from years of playing guitar. They were nowhere near as soft as Kimigiku's had been. I was a little envious of how much more of a woman she was than me.

"Did you ever sing for your band?" Harada-kun asked me. "You have a lovely voice."

"I did sometimes as backup, but our lead singer was a guy," I explained. "He's awesome. He can sing laps around me in his sleep." I gave a wistful sigh. "I miss a lot of things about America, but I think I miss my band most of all. We never had any gigs or anything; all we ever did was play in the garage since we all lived a fair distance away. But it was still awesome every time."

I thought about them and my mother less lately. Maybe I was getting used to my new life here. To be honest, though, it made me feel guilty. Like I was betraying them by being happy. I knew it was silly and made no sense, but I still felt that way sometimes.

"Oh, I love this song," Harada-kun said.

"Sing it with me?" I asked him as I continued playing.

"Of course, Chizuru-chan."

There was something sort of remedial about hanging out with Shinpachi-san and Harada-kun, especially if Heisuke-kun joined in. The three of them were a riot, and they always managed to make me laugh no matter what mood I was in.

It was too hard think of my friends back in America. They were alive, and I had contact with them through Facebook and my new phone, but it was anybody's guess when I'd see them again, if ever.

It hurt to think about that. It hurt even worse every time I realized I didn't even have _Facebook_ to talk to my mom. She was gone for good, and there was no social network to talk to her one last time.

I continued playing until I excused myself to go to bed.

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

That night, I woke in the middle of the night with a thirst desperate enough to rouse me from the comfort of my bed. I slipped on a white robe over my pajamas and quietly tip-toed downstairs to the kitchen.

I poured myself a glass of water and took a few long sips before I heard Okita-san's voice behind me.

"You're up late, Chizuru-chan."

I turned around quickly, startled, and pressed my hand to my chest to calm the rapid beating of my heart. "I just needed a drink of water," I said.

"Ah."

It was a rare moment for the two of us to be alone. I received the least amount of passive-aggressive animosity from Okita-san when it was just the two of us. Sometimes, if it was just us, he was borderline nice.

"What are you doing up so late, Okita-san?" I asked him.

He was sitting on the countertop with a towel over his shoulders. His hair was damp. It was the first time I'd ever seen it down rather than half tied up. "I woke up in a sweat, so I decided to take a shower. Now I'm drying off for a bit and relaxing."

During my massive research on tuberculosis, I learned that it wasn't uncommon for people to sweat profusely in their sleep. It was part of the body's way of trying to purge the sickness from their system. I looked Okita-san over, wondering if he was feeling any better. He'd been coughing a lot lately, and it had me worried that he was going to relapse.

Once he caught my concerned stare, Okita-san let out a heavy sigh. "Stop worrying. Shouldn't you be heading back to bed?"

"I guess so," I said quietly.

"Take your glass with you in case you get thirsty again."

I nodded. "Okay." Truthfully, though, I wasn't tired anymore. I moved to walk past him, but just as I was about to leave the kitchen, I heard his voice behind me.

"If you see something scary, make sure you scream, alright?"

I stopped in my tracks. Slowly, I turned my head to look at him over my shoulder. "Something… scary? Like what?"

Okita-san smirked at me, as if he were making fun of me in his head. "Oh, you know, like a ghost or something. Japan's full of them. Especially in old houses like this."

My eyes widened, and I felt a lump rise in my throat. I swallowed it down, nodded, and scurried out of the room. I was pretty sure I could hear Okita-san snickering as I left, but I didn't care. I was suddenly very keenly aware of the fact that I was in an old Japanese house, and there could be like, some _Grudge_ shit going on or something.

Yeah, fuck _all_ of that.

I left the kitchen and wandered down the hall toward the staircase room. I stopped, though, when I heard some strange rustling sounds just outside. My heart began to pound furiously against my chest, and I felt a very paralyzing fear travel up my spine.

I slowly turned away from the door that led to the staircase room and looked down the opposite hallway. Now would be the opportune time to run back up to my bedroom and hide under my covers for the rest of the night. But what if it was, I don't know, a burglar or something? Or a stray cat?

I quickly made my way back to the kitchen to see if Okita-san was still there. To my horror, he was already gone. I had no idea where he'd gone off to, and I was about to say fuck it and run upstairs, but then an idea hit me.

What if he'd gone outside after I'd left him in the kitchen? Maybe he was going to try to get some late night practice in at the dojo? If that was the case, then he wasn't getting enough rest at all! He wasn't taking Doctor Matsumoto's advice about his health seriously!

Frustrated, I made my way over to the door to head outside and give him a piece of my mind. I made it all of five feet out the side door when I caught sight of three dark shapes moving around outside. The figures stopped when I came into view, and suddenly, I wished I hadn't gone outside at all. It was too late to run—they'd seen me.

It wasn't some specter or bloody ghost, but it was three tall boys I didn't recognize. They were all wearing dark clothes and carrying shopping bags full of spray paint.

"Who the hell is she?" asked one of the boys. "I didn't know there was a girl living here."

"She's the one that was with Okita before!" the second boy said. "She threw the trash can lid at Jurou!"

My eyes widened. These were thugs from that rival school. And they were here to what, vandalize my father's dojo in the middle of the night?

"She'll call the cops!" the first boy protested.

"Not if we shut her up first," said the third.

I squeezed my fingers around the glass of water in my hands. I wish I'd brought something with me, like my cell phone or _anything_ else besides a glass of water. I was keenly aware that these guys were violent bastards, and I didn't know the first thing about fighting.

"You two, grab her arms," said the third boy. "I'll gag her."

Adrenaline and panic shot through my veins like an injected drug. My ears started to ring, numbing out most other sounds, and I became really and truly afraid. But then, amidst the terror, I remembered Okita-san's words from before.

* * *

"_If you see something scary, make sure you scream, alright?"_

* * *

I didn't need to be told twice. I opened my mouth and screamed as loudly as I possibly could. "OKITAAAA!"

"Shit!" one of the boys yelled.

They charged for me, but at that moment, another side door slid open, and Okita-san himself emerged from the house. His eyebrows rose in a brief moment of surprise at the sight, but then his face settled into a maniacal sort of grin at the prospect of a fight.

Normally, I would have been terrified and begged him not to. I didn't want to see him get hurt. But Okita-san had a sword with him, and even three against one, I knew he could handle them. I don't know how I knew, but it was this strange, confident feeling of calm that I had. I knew these guys didn't stand a chance because Okita-san was just _that good_.

Okita-san stepped in front of me on the wooden platform that went around the side of the house like a long deck or outdoor walkway. He didn't face me, but I knew when he spoke that his quiet words were meant for my ears alone. "Thanks for the heads up, Chizuru-chan."

As he walked lazily down the stairs, he drew his sword and held the katana at his side. He raised it up to eye-level, his left hand extended near the tip of the blade in a position to execute a deadly thrust-type attack.

"You guys picked the wrong night to come here and start trouble."

"He's fucking crazy!" the first boy panicked.

"Don't you dare run away, you coward!" shouted the third boy.

It was then that I realized the other boys had swords with them, too. If they were on the rival school's kendo team, it made sense. But that made this fight a whole lot more dangerous.

The third boy charged for Okita-san first. He drew his sword in an impressive display of _iai_ quick-draw, but Okita-san deflected it with his katana. Okita-san whirled around and delivered a powerful blow with the back of his sword that knocked the other boy off his feet. He leapt back up quickly and swung his sword down, forcing Okita-san to block. Their blades struggled against each other for a moment before the worst happened.

Okita-san began to cough.

That brief moment of weakness was all it took for his attacker to kick him in the gut. I couldn't see Okita-san's face, but I heard him cough and saw the splatter of blood on the white sand below. He wheezed, and all the fear I'd previously felt came rushing back.

How could I have forgotten his illness? He may be the best swordsman at Shiei Hall, but he was still very, very sick.

I rushed to his side and tried to plead with his attackers. "Please, stop this! Can't you see he's sick? Leave him alone!"

That must have been the wrong thing to say, for Okita-san got up and shoved me out of the way. I stumbled a bit before I caught myself, but when I looked up, he was glaring furiously at me with a rage I rarely saw in his emerald green eyes.

"You stay out of this," he snapped. "This has nothing to do with you! You're not part of Shiei Hall. You don't even belong here! You should go back to America and stay there."

I recoiled from Okita-san as if he'd slapped me in the face with words alone. Every added sentence was a knife in my heart, stabbing and twisting until I was frozen in place with emotional pain. On some level, I'd always known that Okita-san hated me. I knew he thought of me as a pest. But there were some moments where he was almost pleasant, where he made me laugh and I wanted to be around him so, so desperately. To hear all of my fears confirmed to my face, by Okita-san himself… it was too much to bear.

Okita-san coughed again. He covered his mouth with his hand while haggard coughs tore their way out of his throat. When he lowered his hand, it was smeared with blood.

I heard more doors to the house open, and familiar voices called out to both of us. I watched with a dead expression as Hijikata-san, Saito-san, and Harada-kun all emerged from the house with swords of their own. The three boys from the rival school dropped their spray paint in fear and ran off. I didn't watch. I could hardly look at anything but the white sand stained red with Okita-san's blood.

"Chizuru-chan?" I blinked when I heard Harada-kun's voice call out to me. In a few quick steps, he was standing in front of me with a worried look on his face. He reached down and pressed his hand to the side of my face, tilting my head up to look at his kind expression. "Are you alright, Chizuru-chan? Did they hurt you?"

I shook my head. "I'm okay, Harada-kun. Thank you."

He nodded and pulled me into a hug. At that moment, I was so distraught that I would have accepted comfort from anybody, even Hijikata-san. I wrapped my arms around Harada-kun and buried my face in his chest. Part of me wanted to cry, but for some reason, the pain had reached a level that I couldn't even find the strength to do that much.

"What the hell happened out here, Souji?" I heard Hijikata-san ask.

"We heard Chizuru-san scream," said Saito-san. "Was she attacked?"

Okita-san's voice made my heart ache with pain as I remembered the cruel words he'd driven into me like a stake just moments before. "She's fine. They were just a bunch of punks from Choshu trying to vandalize Kondou-san's dojo. I could have stopped them on my own."

"Don't act tough," Hijikata-san snapped. "I'm in no mood for your bullshit tonight. Did you even take your medicine? Why are you coughing up blood? How long has this been going on, Souji?"

"Not long," Okita-san lied. I heard him make an annoyed sound, but I didn't pull away from Harada-kun to watch the exchange. It was no secret that Okita-san treated Hijikata-san with animosity most of the time. They bickered like brothers. "Stop fussing, Hijikata-san. I don't need a mother."

Hijikata-san made an aggravated sigh. "You should have woke one of us up the moment there was trouble."

"And leave Chizuru-chan out here to get attacked?" Okita-san drawled. "I didn't know you were that heartless, Hijikata-san."

"That's not what I meant, and you know it, Souji!"

"Enough," Saito-san interrupted. His low voice was calm; I found his ability to maintain his cool composure very comforting. "They're gone, and they won't be coming back for a while. We should return to our rooms and get some sleep. We can discuss this in the morning."

"Saito is right," Harada-kun said. He had one hand on my back and the other in my hair. It was amazing how a hug from a man can make you feel so… safe. "They won't come back tonight. This has been a trying ordeal for Chizuru-chan."

"Fine," Hijikata-san agreed. He turned toward Okita-san and spoke in an obvious threat. "Don't think this is over, Souji. We're going to have a nice long talk about your health tomorrow. And you're not leaving the house again until you go a day without coughing up a lung."

Okita-san made an irritated, "Tch," sound as he sheathed his sword.

Harada-kun probably sensed my distress, for he escorted me up to my bedroom after that. He tucked me into bed and said, "Try to get some sleep, okay? I'm on this floor too, if you need me."

"Thank you, Harada-kun," I said.

"Sanosuke," he corrected with a kind smile.

I smiled back at him.

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

Shinpachi-san, Heisuke-kun, and my father were all heavy sleepers who had no idea about the night's excitement until the following morning. As soon as they did, however, they all flocked around me and asked me dozens of times if I was alright and if they'd hurt me in any way.

"I'm fine, I promise," I said, holding up my hands in a placating gesture. "Really. See?"

Heisuke-kun clenched his fist up by his chest as if itching to punch someone with it. "When I get my hands on those Choshu punks, I'm going to make them regret they day they ever even _looked_ at Chizuru-chan!"

"Yeah!" Shinpachi-san shouted angrily. "I'll kick their sorry asses from here all the way to Tokyo!"

Harada-kun was standing nearby with his arms folded over his chest and an amused expression on his face. "Oh, really? Will that be before or after you're kicked off the police force for assaulting an underage kid?"

"I'm sure some of them were of age," Shinpachi-san grumbled.

"Chizuru-chan, I won't let that happen ever again!" Heisuke-kun promised. He looked at me with determination in his gaze. "I'll protect you from now on!"

"Actually," Harada-kun said smoothly, "Souji was the one protecting her last night. While _you_ were sleeping, Heisuke."

My eyes widened, and I felt a jolt of electricity pass through my chest. It was a tremor from both the thrill of having Okita-san put himself between myself and my attackers, and also the pain of his words shortly after. He said I didn't belong here… that I wasn't one of them. That he wanted me to go home to America and never come back.

In the end, that pain won out, and I excused myself from the guys early with a pathetic smile. I went into the dining hall and sat down in my usual space. Gen-san had already brought out tea, so I helped myself to a sip of that. Japanese tea didn't have much flavor, but it was really smooth and soothing on the throat. I'd developed a taste for it after so many months.

I think… if someone had given me a way home right then and there… I would have taken them up on their offer. In fact, I found myself tempted to call a few friends back home and see if there was someone, anyone, willing to take me in.

Saito-san entered the room dressed in a long black kimono with a long white scarf around his neck. He had a _katana_ and a _kodachi_ strapped to his side like a samurai and passed through the room to access the adjoining hallway. Curious, I poked my head out into the hall and watched him head to the foyer where he began to tie on a pair of straw sandals called _tabi_.

"Saito-san?" I asked as I quietly approached. "Are you going to the shrine?"

Aside from classes at the local university, Saito-san didn't leave Shiei Hall very often. He did, however, take the time to visit the shrine nearby almost weekly.

He nodded without looking at me. "Yes. I find the atmosphere soothing."

"May I…" I hesitated, unsure. "That is… if you don't mind… I would like to go with you."

Saito-san finished tying his sandals and then looked up at me with an indiscernible expression. After a moment of mulling it over in his head, he finally nodded. "Very well."

I bowed to him. "Thank you."

Like the high school, the shrine was in walking distance of Shiei Hall. Saito-san and I didn't speak much, but we didn't have to. The silence was surprisingly comfortable. He seemed to have a lot on his mind, and I didn't bother him because I had my own troubled thoughts to contend with.

The entrance of the shrine was marked by a tall red archway called a Shinto Gate. I nearly fell over at the sight that awaited me. Apparently we had to climb a hundred steps just to reach the actual shrine, for the mother of all staircases (minus High Hrothgar in _Skyrim_, but at least that was a video game and not real life) lay in front of me, beginning at that Shinto Gate and heading up a long, long way.

Saito-san didn't even hesitate. Looking as if he'd done this a hundred times before (he probably had), he began heading up the stairs. I scurried after him, choosing to walk behind him rather than next to him.

Saito-san was a very quiet, thoughtful person. I was pretty sure he was more than a little awkward when it came to girls. But he knew a lot about kendo and was very passionate about swords. He had an interesting philosophy on the way of the warrior, or _Bushido_. When I managed to get him to open up and talk about things, I was always interested in what he had to say.

At the top of the stairway was another arch. To my relief, Saito-san stopped at the top. I caught up and took a moment to breathe. Then, I looked ahead.

It was like being in another world. I looked past the gates of the shrine in front of me and watched as a newlywed couple walked down a long, paved white road. They were traditional kimonos, the bride's made of pure white silk with elegant silver patterns. The husband had a fancy black _haori_ jacket over a white _montsuki_ kimono with all the regal adornments.

I watched, transfixed, as the husband held a wide umbrella that he and his bride walked under together. Several others followed them at the same slow pace as they made their way down the main road of the shrine toward us.

After a moment, the husband turned to his bride and held out his hand. I watched as she delicately raised her tiny hand and placed it in his, and the two of them began to descend the stairs under the tall red arch and walk past me.

Even after they were gone, I couldn't help but stair back down the stairs in the direction they'd left.

"I'm going to the central shrine," Saito-san told me, bringing me from my thoughts. "Are you coming with me, or would you like to explore?"

"I'd like to come with you," I decided. Exploration sounded like a lot of fun, but this shrine was huge, with several buildings surrounded by forest grounds. If I went off on my own, I'd probably end up lost or something.

Saito-san gave a brief nod and then turned back to the main path. He walked ahead of me, and like before, I followed him.

The central shrine was a long building made in traditional Japanese architecture. It was a beautiful red color with a jade-colored pagoda-style rooftop. A man wearing a plain gray kimono was sweeping the floor of the deck just atop three wooden steps.

Saito-san didn't approach the double doors at the entrance. Instead, he walked over to the side where a large golden bell was hanging. There were several lengths of sacred rope along the vestibule that contained the bell. Hanging from the bell itself was a thick, heavy, red rope.

I watched Saito-san stand in front of it and drop a coin into an offering box. He rang the bell firmly a couple of times. It sounded a bit more like a giant cowbell than say, the beautiful chimes of Notre Dame, but there was still something strangely enchanting about it. I couldn't put my finger on it.

Saito-san took a step back and then bowed twice. Then, he raised his hands and clapped twice. On the second clap, he held his hands together in a praying motion. I made sure not to say a word. I didn't want to interrupt him if he was praying. I'd seen something like this in anime before, so I had a vague idea of its religious significance, but without knowing for sure, I decided my best course of action was to watch quietly.

After a while, Saito-san bowed again and then turned toward me. To my surprise, he held out his hand. I approached and saw that he was offering me a coin similar to the one he had used.

"Do you want to try?" he asked.

My eyes widened with obvious excitement. "May I?"

Saito-san nodded. "I will teach you what to do." He gave me the coin. "That is a _hyakuen_. You place it in that box called a _sasenbako_. It is your offering."

I approached the wooden vestibule and looked up at the bell. It was made of well-polished bronze and was quite beautiful. It was round like jingle bells. I looked down at the offering box and saw a slot to drop in coins or bills. I glanced back at Saito-san.

He met my gaze. "Think of a wish or something to pray for. Then drop the _hyakuen_ into the _sasenbako_. After that, you ring the bell."

I switched my gaze back to the offering box and dropped the silver coin inside. I reached out and took a firm grasp of the red rope coming out of the bottom of the bell. It was harder to pull than I thought it would be, so I gave it a couple of good tugs.

After that, I backed up as instructed, just a little. I mimicked Saito-san's previous actions and bowed twice to the bell. Then I clapped my hands together twice, holding them in place afterwards. I closed my eyes and thought about what to pray for.

I've never been very religious. I like the idea that there's something more out there, something interesting, but I've just never known for sure what it was. Maybe I never will know… but I guess that isn't the point.

At first, I didn't know what to pray or wish for. Good health? Long life? Money and happiness? I thought about all those things and found I didn't really care one way or another. Or, maybe I did, but my head was clouded with something else.

_Okita-san_…

Maybe it was pathetic or stupid, but I couldn't stop it. Even after everything, he was the center of my thoughts. Whatever I wanted or might have prayed for was completely overridden by Okita-san and his illness.

_Please… please help ease his tuberculosis. I can't stand to see him suffer like this_.

I couldn't think of anything else. No matter how I tried to force my brain away to come up with something else to wish for, Okita-san was in my foremost thoughts. In the end, I was satisfied with my wish. I bowed to the bell vestibule once more and then turned back to Saito-san.

To my surprise, he was watching me with a small smile. It was rare to see him smile like that, but when he did, it was always a meaningful moment. But his words shocked me to the core.

"This country suits you."

I gasped and stared at him in disbelief. Okita-san's hurtful words about going back to America rang through my mind again, but then Saito-san's statement echoed louder.

"Do you… really think so?" I asked. I had to know.

Saito-san regarded me evenly for a moment. Sometimes, I felt as if he could see right through me. Perhaps he wasn't as observant to my emotions as Harada-kun, but he could definitely sense the more base ones.

"I don't have to think it," said Saito-san. "It is a fact. You have the blood of this country in your veins. Even if you didn't, you have made Japan your home. It appears it has accepted you in return."

A weight was lifted off my shoulders. I smiled the whole way home.

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

**TK**: This is the last time Souji is a meanie face, I promise D: I already started next chapter, and things get much better.

Thank you so, so much for your responses last chapter. They are my motivation to keep writing! Seriously, all I do these days is work on this story, and you make it impossible to procrastinate, so I end up posting everything right away, haha! I hope you liked it.

**Today's topic**: Second Favorite Love Interest?

This is mostly for you folks who have played the games, but if you haven't, you can still answer the question. I'm assuming that, since you're reading this, Souji is your number one. If not, that's cool, thanks for reading anyway. But he's my favorite, obviously.

So who's your second favorite? If you had to pick.

I'd have to say Harada. It took a while, but he really won me over when I played his route. There's just something about him, his personality, the way he loves. It's a mature, adult love, and it gets me all sappy and makes me feel warm and safe, hahah. XD

However, that part where you say goodbye to Nagakura (and never see him again, wtf?) just hit me right in the feels. I mean, Nagakura's his best friend. He sees us as a little sister. WHY do we have to say goodbye to him? Why can't we all stay friends and live happily ever after together? Y'know what, screw canon, that's what happened. Head canon ftw.

Kazama gets third place. But sadly, his route in game was pretty short compared to the others (for obvious reasons, whatever).

I have a hard time seeing Heisuke as a love interest (he's too much like a little brother to me), but that being said, I thought his route was really adorable and sweet. And I liked the storyline of it, too.

Peace.


	6. Visiting Hours

**Important information**: This is a _personalized_ story, meaning (like the game), Chizuru's name is in here as a _**placeholder**_. It is not actually about Chizuru herself. So if you want, feel free to download the story and **replace** _Yukimura_ with a last **name of your choice** and _Chizuru_ with whatever first name you want. The Protagonist has a basic personality and is never physically described, specifically for that purpose.

**[**Okita x Protagonist – Modern day AU. A new home, a new family, a new country—and who said anything about learning Japanese?**]**

To _Guest Too_: Haha, you know, you might be onto something there, taking Okita's actions/words and just interpreting them as the opposite of how he feels. Anyway, Saito is my favorite character in RK, actually, so I agree with you. As for _this_ Saito hearing Okita's cruel words, well, you're right on the money! Thanks for your review.

**TK:** I spent some time in Japan last year meeting up with my pen pal. I was all prepared to speak properly to him and his friends, using surnames and honorifics and what have you, and none of them even bothered. XD

In fact, they insisted I use their first name and they all addressed me by my first name. And they addressed each other with their first name. But then, when I wasn't around, they switched back to last name and honorifics with each other (for the most part). Maybe because I'm foreign? I admit, I was a little disappointed! But I got over it. So yeah, foreign person enters the room, formalities drop… T-T

* * *

_**Sweet Silver Lining**_

_TK Grimm_

* * *

**Chapter Six:**

**Visiting Hours**

* * *

Now that the secret was out that Okita-san's pulmonary tuberculosis had come back full-throttle, my father ordered him to be admitted to the hospital. Okita-san, never one to refuse Kondou even if he didn't like the order, grudgingly accepted.

My heart ached as I sat down in the car. My father drove him early one morning, and it felt like a stone dropped from my heart to my gut. I knew the hospital would get his tuberculosis back under control and manageable again, but taking him there, knowing he wouldn't be back for at least three or four weeks, it made his illness all the more real to me.

I'd asked Kondou if I could go along, rather than Okita-san, since he'd probably refuse. My father had smiled brightly at me and patted me on the head. "You're such a good friend to Souji, Chizu-chan!"

The stone in my gut became a twisting knife.

What would have been a tense car ride was instead filled with chatter. My father was good at filling silences with happier things. He could lighten the mood of a funeral. And Okita-san indulged him through most of it, even though he clearly wasn't happy about being sent for hospital treatment.

When we reached the hospital, the doctors and nurses regarded Okita-san with paper masks over their noses and mouths and white latex gloves. I'd never stopped to consider before that Okita-san's tuberculosis was contagious. I knew it was, though, so that was a silly thing for me to ignore.

In my hours of researching his illness, I'd learned that one way tuberculosis could be passed to others by the droplets of blood that the victims coughed up. But as long as I didn't go drinking his blood or letting him cough up a lung on me, I'd be fine. It wasn't like he could pass his disease onto me by just breathing near me.

Because of that, I made me very angry to see the 'professional' staff reacting to him as if he were some kind of contagious malady that needed to be quarantined. I tried to ignore it, but when I looked at Okita-san's face, I saw that he was staring at them with annoyance. He didn't say anything—probably because of Kondou—but I knew he was thinking it.

It might have bothered me even more than him (or maybe my stress levels had built up considerably over the past few months), because I finally lost my temper and snapped.

"Is this really necessary?" I asked, looking at the doctors with an irritated glare. "He has _tuberculosis_, not the _plague_."

Everyone stared at me in shock, even Okita-san, but my father was the first to recover. He laughed nervously and said, "Chizu-chan, I'm sure they're just being extra careful—"

"They're being _stupid_," I said. "You think you can catch tuberculosis just by being near someone with it? Don't you know anything about your job? Didn't you stop and think that maybe this is rude and inconsiderate behavior for _doctors_? You should be ashamed—"

Suddenly, a hand fell over my mouth and clamped it closed and another one squeezed my shoulder tightly. I became very keenly aware of Okita-san's presence behind me, his chest pressed against my back while he held me down, forcing me to be quiet while he addressed the doctors.

"Ah-_hahaha_!" he laughed. "Chizuru-chan is such a jokester. She's just going to miss me so much that she can't _control her temper_ right now." I made an annoyed sound in the back of my throat, and Okita-san squeezed my shoulder a little tighter.

My father quickly intervened. "Ah, yes, Chizu-chan's just concerned and going to miss Souji while he's gone, that's all. Please forgive her."

I realized that in Japanese culture my outburst would have been quite rude. Well, it would have been in America, too, but most Americans consider themselves justified in their rudeness if they feel they've been wronged. Still, I stopped struggling against Okita-san and lowered my gaze to the ground. I refused to apologize, but apparently I didn't need to.

"A-ah, Kondou-san," said the head doctor, a little awkwardly, "all is forgiven." They went on to discussing more details of Okita-san's stay, and I tuned them out, frustrated and embarrassed.

I felt Okita-san lower his hand from my mouth, but he didn't remove the hand from my shoulder. He loosened it, though, so it was a lingering touch rather than a painful squeeze. I felt him lean in closer to speak quietly into my ear.

"Thank you, Chizuru-chan." He leaned in closer, and I could feel his breath on my ear as he murmured to me like a lover. "But if you do that again, I might have to kill you."

Then, he let me go, and walked past me without looking back. I watched his back as he entered the hospital with the medical staff.

My heart squeezed. "Can… can we visit him, _Otou-san_?"

"Of course, Chizu-chan," Father told me. He reached over and put his arm around my shoulders as we looked at the hospital doors together. "He'll be settled in tomorrow, and we can visit him then."

I felt foolish for asking, but I couldn't stop myself. "I want to visit him every day."

My father paused, and then he turned his head to look down at me curiously. I looked up and met his gaze, wanting him to see my resolve. Japan took things like determination and resolve very seriously. If you could meet someone's gaze for a long time, they typically saw that you meant whatever you just said.

Kondou's face settled into a smile. "I'll get you a train pass. You can visit him every day on the bullet train. There's a stop at the end of our road. All you have to do is take it for three stops and you'll be at this hospital."

I nodded, relieved that Okita-san wasn't going to be alone during this. "Thank you."

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

The next day, Father and I visited Okita-san in the hospital, just as we promised. We also brought along Hijikata-san. He and Okita-san bickered the entire time (which didn't surprise me), but now that I'd been exposed to it so much over the past few months, I was able to watch their exchange with unclouded eyes.

Hijikata-san was worried about Okita-san. He treated Okita-san like a younger brother. Hijikata-san was a caring man, but he had a difficult time showing that. He portrayed the image of an uncaring demon, but in truth, he worried even more than my father did.

It got to the point where I started adding my own subtitles in my head every time Hijikata-san spoke. One time, it got so amusing I accidentally giggled out loud.

Hijikata-san had said, "Don't think being sick means you get out of your household chores. As soon as you get back, you're going to be on dishes duty for _weeks_."

I let out a short laugh, and then I slapped my hand over my mouth, embarrassed.

Okita-san didn't look quite so amused. He was sitting in his hospital bed with his hair down and a grumpy expression on his face. It was weird seeing his hair down. It hit his shoulders. Maybe I was used to it, but I think it suited him more when it was short or half pulled up in the topknot.

"Something funny, Chizuru-chan?" he asked me, probably irritated that I was laughing at him having to do the dishes.

I decided I'd enlighten him. "No, um, I just—what Hijikata-san actually said was that he's worried about you but not so worried he'll exempt you from your chores. That's his way of showing you he thinks you'll make a full recovery."

All three of their reactions were pretty great. Hijikata-san gave me a wide-eyed, angry protest. Okita-san raised his eyebrows in disbelief with his usual, drawn out, "Hmm~?"

And Father looked at me in unmasked shock. "Wait—Chizu-chan can speak Toshi's language?"

I gave a nervous chuckle and said. "Well, I don't think I can speak it. I kind of just, I don't know, add subtitles under everything he says that translates it for me."

Hijikata-san rounded on me, having completely forgotten his lecture to Okita-san. "Chizuru! Stop this talk immediately! You have far more pressing matters to be thinking about than trying to put words in my mouth that aren't there!"

I looked over at Okita-san, giving him a serious, no-nonsense face. "Hijikata-san says that he's stunned I was able to figure him out so easily, and that never before has he ever been so impressed or seen a woman of my caliber—"

Hijikata-san leapt forward and covered my mouth with his hand. It made my heart leap in my chest because it reminded me of when Okita-san did it just yesterday. But Hijikata-san started talking, and I was back in reality. "That's not what that means. Shut up."

I was about to retort, but the sound of laughter had me completely distracted. Hijikata-san and I turned our heads at the same time and saw Okita-san sitting up in his hospital bed laughing to the point where he was holding his stomach in pain. It was apparently so damn amusing that Kondou started laughing with him.

Hijikata-san leveled them both with a particularly nasty glare while he said, in a stone-cold, serious voice, "I don't recall anything being particularly funny."

That only served to set them both off once again. My father even had to brace his hand on the end table next to Okita-san's hospital bed. When Okita-san managed to catch his breath, he had to wipe a stray tear from his eyes.

But then, just like that, the happy picture was shattered. Okita-san's laughter gave way to choking coughs. My father let out a startled, worried cry of, "Souji!" at the same time that I cried out, "Okita-san!"

While my father rushed to Okita-san's side, Hijikata-san grabbed a towel and held it in front of Okita-san's mouth as he coughed. When he finally got his coughing under control, there were a few droplets of blood on the white towel. It wasn't the terrifying splatter I'd seen the night I was attacked, but it still rattled me to the core.

With the coughing out of his system, Okita-san seemed tired and worn out. My father ignored his protests and gently pushed him down into the hospital bed. "Lie down, Souji. There you go. You need your rest."

"I'm fine," Okita-san protested. "You worry too much, Kondou-san."

"Nonsense," said my father. "Now rest up. I'll visit you again soon. Just build your strength back up, and then you can come home. We'll throw a big welcoming party for you."

"As long as Hijikata-san isn't the one who throws it," said Okita-san. He was starting to close his eyes though, so I could tell his exhaustion was getting to him. His illness had sapped most of his energy completely.

"Insolent brat," said Hijikata-san. "Get well soon. I'm tired of dealing with your hospital visits."

I piped in. "He actually said he hopes you have a swift recovery because he doesn't want you to be stuck in this hospital any longer than you need to be. And he misses you."

"I didn't say that!"

"It was subtext," I said, waving my hand in casual dismissal.

"Heh…" Okita-san fell asleep a moment later with a smile on his face.

I walked over to his hospital bed, closer than I dared get while he was awake, and leaned over the edge so I could look down at his sleeping face. It was the most peaceful expression I'd ever seen on Okita-san. I had the most overwhelming urge to reach down and brush a few strands of his red-brown hair out of his face, but I forced myself to resist. I squeezed the strap of my purse instead.

I felt my father put his hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry, Chizu-chan. In a couple weeks, Souji will be home, good as new." He was speaking quietly so as not to wake Okita-san up.

I nodded, trying not to let my worries consume me. He'd be fine… as long as he didn't relapse. The truth was, anything could happen. And I was never one to trust others easily or willingly… especially when it concerned people I cared about.

And Okita-san… there was no denying the fact that, no matter how many cruel and hateful things he said to me, I cared for him deeply.

_Please get well soon_.

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

Not having a job gave me a lot of free time. I also didn't really have to study Japanese as much anymore, at least not in the textbook/recording sense. I could speak it mostly fluently (being thrown in a country full of native speakers helped a lot), so if there were any specific questions that stumped me, I just asked someone.

As such, I had a lot of time to visit Okita-san. Like I told my father I would, I ended up taking the bus to the hospital and visiting him every day. I always obeyed his medical charts. Sometimes, he could see visitors, sometimes he couldn't; sometimes I could even pick him up something from the café and let him have a snack or a drink.

One of those times, I knocked on his door with a paper bag at my side full of candy bars, two lemonades, and a hot pretzel with melted cheese. It was a very American snack, but he was just going to have to deal with it. It was rare enough for me to find American things in Japan, so I couldn't say no when the opportunity arose.

"Okita-san? It's Chizuru."

"Hmm~? Visiting me again, Chizuru-chan?"

I opened the door to his room. Unlike others who came in there, I didn't bother with gloves or face masks. I came exactly as I was. I wasn't a complete savage, though. I did use hand sanitizer. But that was to prevent him from getting further sick from any germs _I _might bring in, not the other way around.

When I'd told him that, he'd laughed at me and said I was an idiot. But at least he wasn't mad. I'd take idiot comments over _go home and never come back_ any day.

"Snack delivery," I said cheerfully. "Looks like your charts say you're doing pretty well, so I get to spoil you today."

"Oh?" Okita-san asked, eyeing me with an amused half-smile. He was sitting up in his hospital bed apparently watching cartoons on the room's TV. When he saw the pretzel and cheese, he frowned. "What is that? You couldn't find some _mochi _or something?"

I felt a biting comment rise up, and I wanted to dish his cruel humor back at him, but for some reason, the comment died on my throat. It wasn't the snack—it was the state of his situation. Okita-san was still in the intensive care unit at the hospital. He was basically quarantined because of his tuberculosis. I wondered how lonely that was. I couldn't bring myself to be sarcastic back to him.

"I'm sorry, Okita-san."

Apparently, it wasn't the answer he was expecting. Okita-san looked at me in surprise, his eyes a little wide, before he groaned and actually _averted his gaze_. I couldn't believe it, but Okita-san actually looked away, as if he were a little, I don't know, _embarrassed_ or something.

"Enough with the 'sorry Okita-san', and the 'yes, Okita-san'," he said. He raised his hand up to cover his mouth while he glared off to the side. "Tip-toeing around me like that. It makes me think you hate me or something."

My lips parted in shock. _Does that mean… it would hurt him if I said I hated him_?

My dumbfounded expression drew his attention, and he quickly covered his emotions with a snarky expression. "You're hurting my feelings," he warned me irritably.

I forced away my initial shock. If I didn't, I'd just stand there gaping like a fish at him for the rest of my visit. Instead, I rolled my eyes at Okita-san and tried to dish out some sarcasm after all. "Your feelings? What, all two of them?"

Okita-san chuckled at that, and he finally accepted the pretzel from me. "Touché."

I turned over the paper bag and dumped all of the candy bars onto Okita-san's hospital bed. "And yeah, I brought you this treasure trove. I figure they're probably feeding you some nasty stuff, so you can like, I don't know, hide these or something. Keep a secret stash of munchies."

He made a derisive snort that sounded more like a laugh. "So I can leave the hospital and go to the dentist? How generous of you."

"I can take them back just as easily!" I quipped.

"…Just kidding, Chizuru-chan."

Most of my visits were like that. I didn't have any unpleasant incidents with Okita-san like that night. For the most part, he indulged my company. I started to pick up on the fact that he loathed people hovering over him and worrying about him. He didn't want someone to take care of him, because he wanted to take care of himself. Once I understood that, I went out of my way to act like I wasn't worried and to treat him normally, and the results were… well, amazing.

Sometimes, I wasn't allowed to see him at all. He was occasionally completely quarantined, and no amount of American temper tantrums I could throw seemed to make the staff change their mind and let me see him.

Other times, I came for a visit and he was asleep. I'd used my train pass, though, and I said I'd be here for a couple hours when I left, so I didn't really see the need to go home. Maybe he'd wake up after a while.

During those times, I read a book, listened to music, or played a handheld video game with the volume all the way down so as not to wake him. He always woke up eventually, even if he usually groaned when he saw me.

"Do you ever go home?" he asked.

I paused my game, glancing at him with a worried expression. "I… if I'm bothering you, Okita-san, I can go home…"

He just groaned again and covered his face with his arm, which obscured his eyes from me. "Stop with the Okita-san."

I didn't know if that meant he wanted me to call him something else or if he wanted me to stop talking to him altogether. I chose the safe route and just stopped talking. Eventually, our usual routine continued.

One time, on one of the days I'd arrived and Okita-san was sleeping, it was a very rainy day. The sky was dark, and there were a few bouts of thunder and lightning every so often. I read my book for a while, but then my eyes started to droop.

I didn't even realize I'd fallen asleep until I woke up some time later with my head rested on Okita-san's bed. I rose up and blinked a few times to adjust my eyes. Okita-san's smug face came into my view.

"Sleep well?" he asked in a teasing voice.

I felt my face turn red. "S-sorry, I was just—I, um—"

Okita-san sighed loudly. He reached his hand up and wound his fingers into his hair, lightly scratching the back of his head while he mulled over his words for a moment. When he spoke, his eyes didn't meet mine—they stayed downcast. "I should probably make this clear to you now… I don't hate you. I just… I had my reasons, okay? But don't take me too seriously. And… stop giving me that wounded puppy look."

"Wounded puppy?" I asked. I was a little dazed. He said he… he said he didn't hate me. "Okita-san," I began. "Do you…"

"Didn't I say enough with the Okita-san?" he said, his eyes narrowed. "My name is Souji."

My eyes widened, and my breath caught in my throat. "Y…you want me to…?" He shot me an exasperated look, and I jumped and quickly averted my eyes. "Right! Sorry, Oki—S-Souji…kun…"

The hospital room was pretty quiet, and I could feel his stare, but I couldn't get my blushing face under control. After a couple seconds, I chanced a hesitant glance up, only to be met with his, by this point, infamous smirk.

"Souji-kun, huh?" he repeated, his half-smile still in place. His eyebrows were slightly raised, and it gave this grin a slightly more asshole-ish appearance. But it suited him. It always suited him.

I felt my blush intensify, but I forced myself to nod.

"Hmm~?"

Did he want me to say it again? I swallowed down the lump in my throat. "Souji-kun."

I heard him give a short, light chuckle. "Good girl."

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

On the day that Souji-kun was scheduled to come home, my heart was soaring through the clouds. I'd swapped duties with Saito-san so that I could be in charge of meal preparation and set it up so that dinner would be some of his favorite dishes. I was practically on cloud nine while I pranced through the kitchen, humming with a grin on my face.

Harada-kun stood nearby, watching me with an amused smile on his face. He leaned against the wall with his arms folded over his chest. His red hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, and his golden amber eyes seemed to have a hint of mischief in them, as if he were privy to something the rest of the world missed out on.

In fact, he looked rather smug. "You're very adorable, Chizuru-chan."

I couldn't help but blush. "S-Sano-kun," I stammered, using the nickname Harada-kun had given me permission to call him by. "I'm not! I'm just, um, in a good mood is all."

"_Hai, hai_… and that good mood has nothing to do with Souji coming home today, I'm sure?" Oh yeah. He definitely looked smug.

"Sano-kun!" I protested. "That has nothing to do with it!"

"And the fact that you're making all of Souji's favorite foods?"

I put on my best straight face. "Purely coincidence."

Harada-kun tilted his head back and laughed. When he got it out of his system, he walked over to me and ruffled my hair under his large hand. "Cute little Chizu-chan."

My father was the one who picked Souji-kun up from the hospital. He asked if I wanted to tag along. I did, but I was in the middle of preparing dinner, so I told him not to worry about it. And with Souji-kun's obvious hero-worship for Kondou, I figured he'd enjoy getting to spend some one-on-one time with him.

The kitchen was not too far from the foyer. Even though there was a wall between the two rooms, I could still hear it when Souji-kun made it home. There was some loud cheering from the _baka trio_ (Heisuke-kun, Harada-kun, and Shinpachi-san), and I could hear Souji-kun make some indiscernible, sarcastic remark in response.

Just hearing his voice made my heart quicken. I wanted to smack myself in the head with the wooden spoon I was holding. Since when did I become such a girl? I'd had boyfriends before this, and I wasn't even technically romantically involved with Souji-kun, but here I was turning into a blushing, stuttering mess just by hearing his voice.

Harada-kun was right; I had it bad…

I heard the _fusuma_ door slide open, and I turned from the stove in time to see Souji-kun himself step into the kitchen. I quickly bent at the waist to bow to him and said, "_Okaerinasai_!"

I heard him chuckle and looked up in time to see him say, "_Tadaima_."

He let me welcome him home. I was beaming with glee—probably looked like a smiling idiot. I was so ecstatic, I just stood there smiling at him like a goober until he finally raised his eyebrows and snickered at my expense.

"You know," he said, "you look just like Kondou-san when you smile like that."

My eyes widened. "Eh? Really?"

"M-hmm~," he teased. Souji-kun didn't move closer, but he looked over my shoulder at the food I was preparing and sniffed the air experimentally. His usual smirk slowly spread over his face like the Grinch. "What's this? _Okayu_ with _daikon_? _Nikujaga_?"

"Among other things," I nodded. "And absolutely _no_ spring onions."

Souji-kun's eyes lit up, and my stupid smile was back in full force. He quickly covered his happy expression with another smirk and said, "Did you do all of this for me, Chizuru-chan?"

I could feel the heat rushing to my face, and I quickly turned back toward the food under the guise of stirring the _okayu_. "I don't know what you mean…"

"Oh? So it's not for me? That's a shame."

My breath hitched in my throat in a little bit of panic. "Um, I guess, uh, maybe, I mean, I knew you were coming home today, so I just… you know… I mean, it _is_ for you…"

The room was silent, and after about a minute, I couldn't take it. Even though my face was scarlet, I turned around to see Souji-kun's face. The bastard was giving me the most evil grin I'd ever seen on him.

_He played me!_

"S-Souji-kun!" I cried indignantly.

He tilted his head a little, his smirk still in place. "Hmm~?"

I groaned and looked away from him to resume cooking. "You're mean."

I heard him laugh, and despite my embarrassment, the sound still made me smile. Then, he spoke. "_Arigato_… Chizuru-chan."

There were a couple of footsteps, and I heard a door slide closed. When I glanced over my shoulder, Souji-kun was gone.

I resumed cooking the meal. When it was finished, Gen-san helped me bring everything into the dining hall. We all sat down in our usual places. Everyone was laughing and smiling and welcoming Souji-kun home. I could tell that, even though he brushed most of it aside like it was nothing, Souji-kun was happy. And that made me happy.

Damn it… when did I become such a sap?

To celebrate, Kondou had purchased some fine quality sake, and we were all told to drink as much as we wanted. The meal I'd prepared was a success, but since I was on the receiving end of more than a few teasing, suggestive comments from everyone (especially Souji-kun and Harada-kun), I opted for pouring myself a few more drinks than usual.

"Chizuru-chan!" Heisuke-kun said with obvious excitement. "Now that we're sitting next to each other again, would you mind pouring my sake?"

"Heisuke!" Harada-kun said. His brow was furrowed with disapproval. "Chizuru-chan's here to party with us, not serve us drinks!"

I laughed lightly and held up my hand in a placating matter. "It's okay, Sano-kun. I don't mind." I picked up a nearby _tokkuri_ flask of sake and turned toward Heisuke-kun with a smile.

He blushed a little, though it could have been from the sake, and averted his gaze with a smile of his own while he held his _sakazuki_ dish out to me. I tilted the flask and poured a bit of sake into the dish. Maybe I wasn't the expert that Kimigiku was, but I like to think I was getting the hang of the whole sake-pouring thing.

Unconsciously, my eyes drifted past Heisuke-kun to Souji-kun, who always sat on Heisuke-kun's other side. He had a sake dish to his lips and was watching me with an unreadable expression. His stare made me lower my gaze as I finished pouring Heisuke-kun's drink.

"Chizuru-chan," Harada-kun began, "if you're sure you don't mind pouring some drinks, maybe Heisuke would let you sit between him and Souji? Since this is Souji's welcome home party, he should get a pretty girl to pour his sake, too."

I gaped at Harada-kun. "E-eh?"

"H-hey, Sano-san," Heisuke-kun stammered, a little indignantly actually. "Don't make her move! Chizuru-chan shouldn't go out of her way just to pour Souji some sake!"

"Like she's going out of her way for _you_?" Harada-kun countered.

It was a completely normal occurrence for Harada-kun, Shinpachi-san, and Heisuke-kun to joke, bicker, and even brawl (even during mealtimes), so I normally wouldn't be fazed. This time was about me, though, so I quickly intervened.

"A-actually, I don't mind," I said, assuring Heisuke-kun. "I-if… Souji-kun wants, I can pour his drinks, too."

Heisuke-kun shot me a worried look. "But… if you move…"

"Don't be jealous, Heisuke," Harada-kun said.

"I'm not jealous!"

Souji-kun's voice stopped their tirade. "I don't mind." He patted the small space between himself and Heisuke-kun with a wry grin. "Come on over here, _Chizuru-chan_." The way he said my name was almost… playful.

I was certain I was blushing, so I kept my head down as I stood up from my place at the low dining table. Heisuke-kun looked a bit displeased, but he helped me move my sitting mat over. Shinpachi-san gave me an extra flask of sake with a grin, so I leaned over to fill his _ochoko_ while I was at it.

"Thanks, Chizuru-chan!" He was such a big brother. I liked Shinpachi-san a lot.

"You guys didn't have to put Chizuru-chan on the spot like that," said Heisuke-kun. "She visited Souji every day, so it's not like she hasn't seen him in a long time."

Hijikata-san's eyebrows rose. "Every day?"

My face got about ten degrees hotter, so I pretended to poke at my rice a little bit. "U-um… well…"

"Every day," Souji confirmed. "It was like having my own little private nurse."

Heisuke-kun's jaw dropped. "P… private nurse?"

"M-hmm~ Chizuru-chan brought me snacks and kept me company. The only thing she was missing was a cute little uniform."

"U… uniform?" A dazed expression fell over Heisuke-kun's face.

I covered my face with my hands, embarrassed. "Stop picturing it!"

My father's joyous laughter was louder than my protest. "Ah, Chizu-chan, I'm so proud of you. Thank you for taking such good care of Souji while he was in the hospital."

"I-it was nothing," I said, still red-faced.

"Come on, guys, quit teasing her!" Heisuke-kun said. "I'm sure she would have visited any one of us in the hospital! Souji, quit putting her on the spot like that! You're embarrassing her!"

"It's not embarrassing," Souji-kun said blandly. "I just said she would have looked even cuter with a little nurse's outfit. What, are you saying you disagree, Heisuke?"

"_Ch-ch-ch-chotto matte_!" Heisuke-kun stammered with wide eyes. "I didn't—I mean—Chizuru-chan is my friend, so—"

"So you don't think she's cute?" Souji-kun taunted. The smirk on his face was positively devious.

Harada-kun nodded with a serious frown. "Our little Chizuru-chan is cute enough to attract hundreds of men. Wearing a nurse's outfit would only accentuate that. Do you disagree, Heisuke?"

"No! I mean—she would be cute, but…"

"I knew it," Souji-kun said. He seemed to force his face into a displeased expression and sneered down at Heisuke-kun. He placed one hand on my shoulder and _pulled me closer to him _protectively so I was a little further from Heisuke-kun. "You make me sick. Go fantasize about some other innocent girl."

"_N-n-nani_?" Heisuke cried. "I wasn't! I mean—I just—!"

The sour look left Souji-kun's face and was replaced with laughter from most of the men in the room at poor Heisuke-kun's expense. Even Hijikata-san was trying to cover his amused smile. I would have laughed, too, if I wasn't frozen in place from the feel of _Souji-kun still touching my arm_. My heart was pounding so hard, I could actually _feel_ it.

"_Souji_," Hijikata-san said. "Stop embarrassing Heisuke and Chizuru."

Souji-kun released me without protest, and I was back in reality. The event that had just occurred finally caught up in my brain and processed, and I was able to laugh a little, in spite of my embarrassment.

"It's good to have you back, Souji," Kondou said happily.

Souji-kun gave him his rare, genuine smile, and I felt the corners of my lips tugging upwards. I was truly content.

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

_**TK:**_ This is my favorite chapter I've written so far... X3 I hope you enjoyed it!

**Today's topic**: Why only Hijikata?

Don't get me wrong, I love Toshi as much as the next gal, but if you're gonna make an anime out of an otome game, doesn't it make more sense to show all possible routes and not just one guy? When I realized they were doing Hijikata's route (with like, a couple scenes from everyone else's here and there), I was pretty damn disappointed.

Hijikata's awesome. I'm not bashing him. So don't get your panties in a twist.

But I'm a Souji fan through and through, have been since I first played the game. Instead of "You had me at hello" it was "You had me at I'll kill you".

So what the hell, man? Where's _my_ freakin' anime? They could do like, one season per love interest, which lets them go through _all_of the stories in the game. If you haven't played the game, you should, because there's a lot more to it than just what we see. Heisuke's story in particular is pretty heavy on the plot, and it's like, not even remotely mentioned in the anime.

I also prefer the art in the video game, just a smidgen.

Oh, and I guess there's always the musical, that shows all the routes. Musical Souji is just, ah-mah-gah. Yum.

Okay, this discussion is steering away from the topic. My point is, as cool as Hijikata is, I was disappointed he was the romance option in the anime AND the movie.

Why not Zoidberg?


	7. Warm Sake

**Important information**: This is a _personalized_ story, meaning (like the game), Chizuru's name is in here as a _**placeholder**_. It is not actually about Chizuru herself. So if you want, feel free to download the story and **replace** _Yukimura_ with a last **name of your choice** and _Chizuru_ with whatever first name you want. The Protagonist has a basic personality and is never physically described, specifically for that purpose.

**[**Okita x Protagonist – Modern day AU. A new home, a new family, a new country—and who said anything about learning Japanese?**]**

**TK:** Late update is late! Sorry about that! Anyway, the song that finally inspired me to write this chapter is "I Won't Disagree" by Kate Voegele. Check it out on Youtube, yo.

* * *

_**Sweet Silver Lining**_

_TK Grimm_

* * *

**Chapter Seven:**

**Warm Sake**

* * *

Fall had vanished during Souji-kun's time in the hospital, replaced by the chilling crispness of winter. With his return to Shiei Hall in December, we were met with the first snow of the year. It seemed to have lifted the spirits of everyone in Kyoto. The first snow of the year gave everyone a reason to be a little cheerier than usual.

Christmas in Japan was very different from Christmas in America. Most people in Japan weren't Christian, so it wasn't a religious holiday. However, likely due to the American influence post World War II, a lot of the country still celebrated it, though not as a religious holiday but more as a time to spread happiness.

To be honest, I kind of liked that better.

I'd asked Harada-kun about it, and he explained the basics of the holiday and the differences between it and the American version. This was nice because it was so much more… happy. Less commercialized.

Christmas Eve was thought of as a romantic day in which couples spend time together and exchange gifts. It was a lot like our Valentine's Day. Harada-kun told me most young couples went for walks and looked at Christmas lights or went for a romantic dinner at a restaurant.

Christmas Day wasn't a national holiday, so most stores were still open. It was usually celebrated with cake, presents for children, games, and even dancing. Christmas celebration in the sense that I was more familiar with would have been New Years.

Japanese New Years was a time for families to get together, pray, and have a special meal. It was celebrated for five days, from December 31st all the way to January 4th and was apparently a very busy time of year.

As such, even though our methods of celebrating were a little different, I was very excited for the approaching Christmas season. I found myself counting down the days with excitement. But the closer it got to Christmas, the more an unsettling realization set into my mind. I realized that, while it would be my first Christmas in Japan, it was also my first Christmas without my mom.

That realization led to a few unfortunate incidents that I mostly kept to myself. Like when I was out buying presents and saw one or two things I thought she might like, I realized I couldn't buy them for her.

Despite my best attempts to remain positive, a dark cloud began looming over my shoulders as the holiday drew near.

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

I strummed lightly on my guitar while I looked out the window in my bedroom. My father was teaching one of his older age groups in the dojo, but they were far enough away that they wouldn't hear my music. Plus, the dojo tended to get pretty noisy anyway. Still, it was nice living in such a big home.

I heard Heisuke-kun's voice outside my door. "Chizuru-chan? Can I come in?"

"Sure, come on in."

He slid open my bedroom door and stepped inside, closing it behind him. He had a smile on his face, but judging by the tenseness in his shoulders and how the smile looked a little strained, I got the impression he was nervous about something.

"_Ano_… I was just wondering," he began. "Are you doing anything on Christmas Eve?"

I stopped playing guitar and looked over at Heisuke-kun again. "Um…" As far as I remembered, Harada-kun told me it was a pretty romantic holiday. Maybe that wasn't the only purpose? Maybe it was for friends, too? "I don't think so," I said slowly. "Probably just hanging out here."

"Oh, uh, okay, cool," said Heisuke-kun. "I mean, maybe uh…"

He was fidgeting a bit, and I got the impression he was working up to saying something, so I watched him quietly, waiting. At the same time, it was starting to get a little awkward. Maybe Heisuke-kun was having second thoughts and couldn't think of something else to say. Perhaps I should… change the subject to help him out or something.

"Say, um, Heisuke-kun?" I said. "I'm writing another song and was wondering if you'd listen to a few chords?"

He seemed grateful for the distraction and said, "Sure!"

Heisuke-kun sat down on my floor, so I got up off the bed and sat down across from him. Strange country that doesn't use chairs… Oh well. I played the opening melody and showed him a couple spots where I was having trouble deciding this tune or that tune, and he gave me his opinion. After a few minutes of talking about the song, Heisuke-kun seemed much more relaxed.

"Anyway, uh, Chizuru-chan," he started. He reached up a hand to the back of his head and averted his gaze away from mine. "I was just thinking… since you're not doing anything… maybe you and I could—"

My door slid open again, and of all people, Souji-kun strode into my room without asking permission. I jumped, a little startled, and looked up at him. "Souji-kun?"

He bent at the waist and looked down at me with a smirk, his face not too far from mine. "Chizuru-chan~ It's your turn to dust today. Did you forget?"

"Oh!" I gasped. "Oh, shoot, I did forget. I'm sorry! I'll go right now."

He tilted his head a little, and the side of his mouth tugged further upwards, as if my response amused him further. "Good girl."

I stood up and set my acoustic guitar back on the stand. When I turned back toward the guys, I saw Heisuke-kun glowering at Souji-kun, who was looking around my room curiously. "Oh," I realized. "You've never been in my room before, have you?"

"You've got a lot of… stuffed toys," he noted.

I blushed. "Err… yeah."

Souji-kun tilted his head back to glance at me over his shoulder. "Interesting…" He walked toward my door and then paused. "C'mon, Heisuke. Or are you planning on lurking around in Chizuru-chan's room while she's downstairs cleaning?"

Heisuke-kun quickly stood up. "Oh, uh, no… no, I'm going."

I frowned. "Heisuke-kun, what were you going to ask me earlier?"

He looked at me, clearly hesitating. When Heisuke-kun glanced back at Souji-kun's strangely blank expression, his shoulders slumped a little and he said, "I-it's nothing, Chizuru-chan, don't worry about it."

Heisuke-kun left my room in such a hurry that I was left watching his retreating back with a puzzled expression. "Oh… okay." I looked over at Souji-kun, wondering if maybe he knew the reason for Heisuke-kun's strange behavior. Were the two not getting along or something? "Souji-kun? Is everything okay with Heisuke-kun?"

"Hmm~?" he asked. He was smiling at me, but it didn't reach his eyes. It wasn't like his usual joking grins or cocky smirks. Something didn't feel right about it. "Are you worried about Heisuke?"

I nodded. "He seemed like something was bothering him. And you kinda seem a little off, too. Did you guys get in a fight? Do you want me to try to talk to him for you? I'd hate for him to be mad at you over something silly."

My words apparently caught Souji-kun off guard, for he stared at me in surprise for a moment. Then, his shoulders relaxed, and a more genuine smile made it onto his face. "Oh… you were worried about _me_."

"Of course I was, I mean—" my eyes widened, and I smacked my hand over my mouth. "I-I mean! I was worried about Heisuke-kun, too! Y-you guys shouldn't fight, a-a-and I was just thinking, um…"

Souji-kun was grinning at me, so I closed my mouth. He stayed that way for just a moment before the smile slipped again, and he actually turned away from me. "…You should stay away from me, though."

I gasped at the sudden knife through my heart.

"…I'm no good for you."

"S…Souji-kun…?"

He ignored me and left the room. My door was still open, so I watched him disappear into his room and close the door in a manner that clearly stated he wanted to be alone.

My brow furrowed with worry. I looked down at my hand and replayed his words over and over again in my mind. He's no good for me? What did he mean by that?

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

The closer it got to Christmas, the harder it was for me to keep my composure. The whole air of the house seemed to be cheery and caught up in the holiday spirits, so I tried really hard to keep my smile on so that no one would worry. I didn't want to bring anyone else down with my sadness.

Souji-kun was a little distant, but I'd gotten kind of used to that over time, so I tried not to let it get to me. I was honestly a bit more absorbed in my grief over my mother than I was with his odd warning. It did pass through my mind whenever I saw him, though.

I spent a lot of time playing music with Harada-kun and Shinpachi-san. The three of us had made a kind of jam trio in the back section of the grounds where we could be nice and hidden away. Heisuke-kun joined us sometimes as a beginner guitarist. He was always good for a laugh, too.

It was harder to be outside because of the cold and the snow, so Shinpachi-san actually brought out a portable heater that we put in the middle of all of us that warmed us right up. It was like having a massive bonfire that we all sat around and kept warm.

"Sing us a song, Chizuru-chan," Shinpachi-san said with a wide grin.

"Yeah, yeah, okay," I said. "Been working on this one for a while."

To be honest, the song was written over several weeks of pining over Souji-kun. But Heisuke-kun and Shinpachi-san were two of the most oblivious men I'd ever met, so I wasn't worried about them teasing me over it.

Harada-kun… he was another story.

He was a very perceptive man, and he had a sort of wisdom about him that helped him understand people and their feelings very well. Sometimes, when I said something, he'd give me a look that showed he saw right through me. I was powerless under it.

He was also very helpful, though, and equally understanding. I had no doubt he knew how I felt about Souji-kun, but he never bothered me about it. In fact, I sometimes caught onto his little, subtle ways of encouraging me, like how he managed to worm me into a new seating arrangement at mealtime between Heisuke-kun and Souji-kun.

He was sneaky about it, but I welcomed his support. And honestly, it was kind of nice that someone knew. I had a sort of… confidante in Harada-kun.

I put my heart and soul into this song. Of course, I did that with all my music, but this one in particular I really felt a connection to. I found myself getting into it and really enjoying the tune of the music and the words I'd chosen.

"That's so awesome, Chizuru-chan!" Heisuke-kun cheered.

"I always thought about picking up guitar or something," Shinpachi-san said. "Or maybe drums."

I chuckled a bit at that. "You guys make me miss my band." I started playing something else, just light background music, and spoke again so they wouldn't take what I said to heart. "It's always fun coming out here jamming with you all, though."

"Yeah, it's good fun," Harada-kun agreed. He had a sly sort of smile on his face as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder. He used his free hand to playfully poke me in the forehead. "Even if you're singing about another man when you're with us."

I sputtered a little. "I-I'm not—I don't know what you're talking about, Sano-kun!"

His smile widened, and he chuckled under his breath. "M-hmm, I'm sure."

"C-c'mon, Sano-san!" Heisuke-protested. "Don't tease her! If she says it's not about a guy, then it's not!" I shot a triumphant smile at Harada-kun, but it was immediately wiped away when Heisuke-kun suddenly turned to me and asked, "A-are you sure it's not about a guy?"

I quickly started playing again, keeping my face the picture of innocence. "I'm sure I don't know what you guys are talking about…"

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

I was pretty sure Heisuke-kun was still working up the nerve to ask me something, but he hadn't managed it yet. Whenever he would come close, something always seemed to happen to get in the way. One time, a stray cat ran past us, and I admit I kind of got distracted and started chasing after it mid-request.

Another time, Souji-kun interrupted him and made some demand about using Heisuke-kun for kendo practice, despite having Saito-san around and willing to spar with him. In fact, most of the time, it was Souji-kun who would come between Heisuke-kun and I whenever Heisuke-kun would get close to asking me whatever it was he was trying to ask.

I felt a little bad about it, but honestly, with Souji-kun's warning about not being any good for me and my depression about my mother, I kept forgetting to pull Heisuke-kun aside and squeeze the information from him. It was a bit self-centered, but I had a lot going on, and I sadly had given it a lower priority. But really, if it was serious, he'd have found a way to let me know, right?

When Christmas Eve finally arrived, my father closed the dojo for the day and canceled practice. He said it was because he could use a break, but everyone knew he really wanted to let his students off for the day so they could celebrate with their girlfriends.

To my surprise, both Harada-kun and Shinpachi-san were absent for most of the day. I didn't realize they had girlfriends, but I guess at their age and with their good looks, I shouldn't have thought otherwise. They were both extremely fit with drool-worthy muscles. Plus, they were a hilarious pair, so double dates were probably a riot.

Throughout the day, sake and other alcoholic drinks were passed out like candy. I was only too happy to accept them. I liked to think I had a pretty good tolerance for the stuff most of the time, so I wasn't worried about getting too drunk. But I couldn't stop thinking about my mom, and it was making me sulk without meaning to.

The atmosphere of the house was that of a laid back, all-day party. Kondou had some music playing in his massive, fifty-year-old record player. Some of the guys were playing cards in one of the rooms. Most of the _fusuma_ doors were slid open so walking down the hall would give you a pretty good eyeful of what everyone was up to.

And yet, for most of it, I found myself sitting outside with Shinpachi-san's space heater and a blanket wrapped around my shoulders. I had a glass bottle in my hand containing some Japanese cocktail that reminded me of _Smirnoff_ back home, though I still couldn't read _kanji_, so I didn't have the slightest idea what was actually in it. It tasted good, though, but wasn't getting me drunk. At that moment, I think I really just wanted to feel better, even if it was thanks to alcohol.

"You look like you could use something stronger."

My heart leapt at the sound of his voice. I looked up and over my shoulder at Souji-kun, who was standing nearby with a white porcelain sake flask. Steam was coming out of the top, so it was nice and hot.

I smiled gratefully. "Want to join me?"

"I might as well," he said with a sigh. "Just so you stop looking so pathetic out here by yourself."

Even though his words might have sounded cruel to anyone else, I knew it was just how he was. I didn't take offense. Souji-kun sat down next to me on the wooden walkway, close enough that our sides were touching. The space heater in front of us was warm, but he wasn't really dressed for the weather.

I tsked in disapproval. "You're going to make yourself sick again." Completely ignoring his protests, I unwrapped myself a bit from the large blanket and wrapped it around his side so that we were both under it. It felt strange to share a blanket with Souji-kun, but maybe the alcohol I'd had thus far had given me some courage.

"You're such a nag," Souji-kun complained. He didn't struggle, though, and adjusted the blanket so it rested more easily on his shoulders. The blanket brought us even close together. I could feel heat emanating off of him.

Souji-kun had brought two _ochoko_ cups with him. I took the _tokkuri_ flask and poured us both some warm sake. The cup brought heat to my hands, and I sipped on it slowly. With all the cocktails I'd had before, the sake went down even more smoothly.

"You don't have to hide it, you know," he said, breaking the comfortable silence that had passed between us. I turned my head, but Souji-kun was staring straight ahead at the frozen garden in front of us. "We all know you miss your mom. This… probably isn't easy."

Was he… concerned? About me? I took a sip of sake and looked down at the snow. "I just… didn't want to bring anybody down."

"What was she like?"

I was so surprised by the question that I was caught off-guard. I fumbled for a moment to think of an answer for him. "She was… a lot of fun. I don't think she'd planned on having any kids, but she did what she could for me. Most of the time, she was more like a friend than a mother. But we looked out for each other. It was us against the world. I… I never thought there'd be a time when she wasn't here, you know? A-and now, it's Ch-Christmas, and I… I just…"

Before I knew it, tears were silently trailing down my face from the corners of my eyes. I'd become a stuttering mess and wiped furiously at my eyes to get it to stop, but I just couldn't. It was like I'd buried those feelings as best I could for the past few months, and now, finally talking about it, the dam had been broken, and I couldn't stop crying.

Souji-kun turned my head toward him. He used the end of his sleeve to wipe at my eyes, staring impassively as he did so. For some reason, when he did that, I was able to stop crying. I was sure I looked a mess, but he didn't say anything of the sort.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I didn't mean to break down on you like that."

Souji-kun pressed his lips together in a thin line. He looked at me for a moment longer before he sighed and turned back toward the garden. "I don't have many memories of my mother, but I do remember my older sister, Mitsu. She took care of me for as long as she could until I was nine. We were really poor, and she and her husband just… couldn't afford to keep me. She knew Kondou-san through a mutual friend and asked if he'd be willing to take on an apprentice and let me stay here."

My eyes widened. "She… she left you?"

Souji-kun glanced at me from the corner of his eyes. "That's how I saw it, too." He switched his gaze straight ahead again. "I stood in front of the gates to Shiei Hall and stared down the direction she'd left me in for hours many times. I was sad and resentful, but more than anything, I hated the pitiful looks everyone gave me. The other students treated me like a slave, and the adults wasted no time in telling me how sorry they felt for me. _What a pitiable child_, they would say."

His face darkened into a scowl, but I didn't dare interrupt him. He continued, "But… for some reason, Kondou-san never did. He was always nice to me, even when I called him an idiot and tried to push him away. I took to swordsmanship like a fish to water, and I challenged the best kid in my age group. He got in a good hit… my head was bleeding, and it got in my eyes and made it hard to see. But I beat him fair and square. Kondou-san raced across the dojo and hugged me, telling me how strong I was and how proud he was. I'd never been told how strong I was before, only that I was pitiful. I was… shocked. I decided then and there I'd devote my life to him. Kondou-san was the only thing that mattered to me. I wanted to be his sword."

With his story, his confession, so many things about Souji-kun finally made sense to me. His hostility when we met, certain traits about his personality, his aversion to people worrying about him or feeling sorry for him—it all became clear to me.

I finally understood him.

"You are," I told him, meaning every word. "He loves you, Souji-kun. I may be his daughter, but you're his successor. You're his son."

He turned his head to look at me, his face set in disbelief. His brow furrowed a little, and he said, "Here I am trying to explain myself to you, and you're trying to make me feel better. You're a strange girl."

I made a weak smile and said a light, "Heh…"

"I don't hate my sister," he confessed. "She wanted me to have a better life, one she couldn't give me. I was angry then, but I understand it now. But I'll never forget the way it made me feel that day. So when I heard about you, and when I met you, I _loathed_ you. To me, you and your mother abandoned Kondou-san like Mitsu-neechan abandoned me. And… you're Kondou-san's blood… something I've always wanted to be."

It was just as I thought, and the more he came clean about, the more clear my understanding of him became. Souji Okita made so much more sense to me. And it made me fall in love with him even more than before. "You don't have to explain yourself to me, Souji-kun…"

"I do, and… I'm sorry. About… everything I said. I know it wasn't your choice to leave Kondou-san. And I know…" Souji-kun looked away, "you're hurting because of your mom. I just couldn't look past Kondou-san, and I didn't even want to try. But I'm sorry."

I reached out toward him and gently put my hand to the side of his face. I turned his attention back to me and fixed him with a true smile. "It's okay," I told him honestly. "We're always short-sighted for the ones we love the most."

He sucked in a quick breath and looked at me in surprise. Then, Souji-kun's face settled into a small smile. "Yeah, I guess you're right." I pulled my hand back, and Souji-kun's usual joking demeanor returned. "Anyway, don't tell anyone I told you all of that. Or I'll kill ya," he added with a wink.

I giggled, my sadness forgotten. "Okay."

I felt eons better, and judging by his posture and body language, I think a pretty heavy weight was lifted off of Souji-kun's shoulders. He looked more comfortable and relaxed, and the fact he could be so at ease while we were still pressed closely together under the blanket made me ridiculously happy.

"So, um," I started, unsure of how to voice my question. My head was a bit fuzzy from all the alcohol, and I definitely wasn't in my normal state of mind, so I think my words came out a bit stupidly. I didn't have much of a filter on myself. "Are you going out tonight to look at Christmas lights?"

Souji-kun glanced down at me with a raised eyebrow. "Is that your roundabout way of asking if I'll take you?"

My face immediately turned red. "N-no! I—" He chuckled, and I snapped my mouth shut. I hadn't expected him to see through me so easily. I looked away. "You don't have to… I was just…"

Souji-kun stopped laughing, and I chanced a glance and saw him gazing straight ahead again, his face surprisingly serious. "I know what you want, but… I can't be that for you."

My heart shattered.

"…I'll always have tuberculosis," he told me. "I dropped out of college. I have no job. No future. If you're with me… you'll face all kinds of problems. It'll be a hard life." His green eyes were focused straight ahead rather than at me, but he didn't seem to be looking at anything in particular. Gradually, they shifted to the left and down, catching mine. "You could do a lot better."

I had no idea what to say to that. My brain fumbled about, and I sat there gaping like a fish. But my heart must have known, because before I realized what I was saying, I replied, "No."

He looked surprised, clearly not expecting that response. "No?"

I gathered my resolve and forced myself to speak. "You have a future. My father wants to leave Shiei Hall to you. That's how much you mean to him—how _capable _he thinks you are. And your T.B., I mean, yes it's awful, but it's manageable. We can keep it under control. It won't be easy, but I'm not in this for something easy—I'm in this for _you_. Whether or not you have a job or a disease or a college degree… you're still _you_, Souji-kun."

"I'm still me," he repeated quietly. My speech seemed to have a profound effect on him, for he had a dazed look on his face like he was still processing what I'd said.

"None of that other stuff matters as much as you do," I said, trying to keep my voice as sincere and gentle as possible. "I just want to be near you… as much as you'll let me."

"You just want me, huh?" Souji-kun raised his hand up to his forehead and slipped his fingers through his bangs while he looked up at the sky. He had an exasperated sort of smile on his face. "You're something else, Chizuru-chan. You won't even cut an invalid any slack."

I rolled my eyes. "Invalid? Yeah, right."

"_Fine_," he said with a short, light laugh. "Do what you want."

I grinned proudly at him. I felt a bit like a peacock, all puffed up and strutting about. "I will."

Souji-kun watched me for a moment with clear amusement. Then, he pulled himself free of the blanket and stood up. "What are you sitting around outside for? Don't you want to see the Christmas lights with me? I'll get offended if you refuse, so you'd better get up, lazy girl."

I didn't have time to register my shock, though it must have shown on my face. I scrambled to my feet and bundled up the blanket in my arms. "You'll take me? Really?"

"That's what I said, didn't I?" Souji-kun picked up our dishes. "Go get your coat."

I didn't have to be told twice. I ran upstairs to my room and changed faster than I'd ever changed before. Once I was bundled up and ready to face the snowy winter of Kyoto, I hurried to the entrance of the house. Souji-kun was in the foyer putting his shoes on.

On my way down the hall toward him, my father stopped me. "Oh! Chizu-chan, where are you going? It's cold outside, and it's getting late!"

The room right before the entryway was basically the Japanese equivalent of a living room. My father, along with Hijikata-san, Saito-san, and Heisuke-kun, was sitting on the floor at a low table playing cards and drinking sake.

"Oh, um…" I wasn't sure how to answer.

"Chizuru-chan!" Heisuke-kun said. He was a little red-faced, probably from the sake, but he was smiling widely at me. "The Christmas lights—do you want—"

Suddenly, Souji-kun was standing at my side. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to him with his signature smirk plastered on his face. "Kondou-san, I'm going to borrow Chizuru-chan for a bit, okay? I'm taking her to see the Christmas Eve lights."

My father looked—excuse the expression—like Christmas had come early. He beamed so wide and bright, it was like staring at the sun. "Oh, that's very romantic! What a great idea, Souji! I know you'll take care of her. Chizu-chan, stay by Souji's side, all right? You two have a nice time!"

Heisuke-kun looked crushed. I got the feeling he was going to ask me if I wanted to go with him. I felt a little bad, but with Souji-kun holding me that close, my brain just couldn't process things at normal speed.

"I'm sure we will," Souji-kun replied. "Let's go, Chizuru-chan."

"Y-yeah…"

We left Shiei Hall, just the two of us, and walked down the street. All of Kyoto seemed to be illuminated by beautiful, multi-colored lights. Some were like the Christmas lights I was familiar with back home. There were also new things, like sculptures of animals or symbols made entirely of several strings of lights. Festival lanterns were everywhere. It was like the entire city was celebrating in this beautiful way.

Souji-kun and I didn't talk much at first. I got the impression that his mind was still reeling from our previous conversation. I couldn't blame him. I really wish I'd recorded it so I could play it over in my head a few times.

As we walked through the pathways, I saw several young couples doing the same thing that we were. They held hands, smiled at each other, and spoke in romantic tones that implied they were all very much in love. I looked down at my mittens and wondered what it'd be like if Souji-kun took my hand.

Finally, he broke the silence. "Were you serious about what you said before? Did Kondou-san tell you he wanted me to be his successor?"

I looked up at him and nodded. "I think he wanted to tell you himself… so I kind of just ruined that. But maybe you can still act surprised?"

Souji-kun looked apprehensive. "…I didn't finish university, though."

I saved my hand in easy dismissal. "You just have to get an Associate's in Business. That's like, no problem. You can take online classes if you don't want to go to university. I'll help you out. Once you have your degree, Otou-san can write up the paperwork that claims you as his successor. Then you have a home and career set for the rest of your life. Easy."

He looked away from me with a strange sort of smile, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You crazy girl. How am I supposed to be a lazy slacker with you around?"

"You told me you wanted to be my father's sword," I reminded him. Emboldened by alcohol which still hadn't fully worn off, I couldn't help myself and reached out to take his hand in my own. The touch brought his attention back to me. "Then… let me be your sheath."

Shock spread over his face. "My sheath?"

"Well… every katana needs a sheath." We'd stopped walking. I stood in front of him, looking up at Souji-kun in earnest while I held his right hand in between both of my mittens. "The sheath is what the sword calls home."

My metaphor resonated with him. Suddenly, his free hand was pressed against my neck and pulled my face closer to his. When his lips touched mine, it felt as if the wind was sucked out of my lungs and given back to me through his kiss. I was paralyzed, frozen, and on fire all at once.

I'd been kissed before, but the sensations coursing through my body were nothing compared to those other times. This was something completely new, and it was thrilling. I felt as if I were drowning and being brought back to life.

When Souji-kun pulled away, he rested his forehead against mine and spoke to me quietly. "I don't know how to go halfway or take it slow. If I do this, you'll have all of me."

I knew that. Souji-kun wasn't that kind of guy. He teased and flirted, but he didn't bother with pointless relationships. He didn't let people get close. Kondou had managed to make a place for himself in Souji-kun's battered, broken heart. And now, he was giving me the chance to do the same. There was no 'halfway' or 'in-between' stage. It was all or nothing, and I wanted everything he had to give.

And I would give him everything _I _had in return.

"I know," I said. "I understand you."

"You do," he agreed. "You do understand."

He kissed me again and wrapped his arms around me to press my body fully against his. I felt his fingers in my hair and his arm around my waist. I wrapped my own around his neck and back. No matter how tightly we pressed against each other, we never seemed close enough.

I didn't know what the future had in store for us. My mother's death taught me that people can disappear from the world in a heartbeat on any given day. All it takes is one drunk driver or one incurable disease. It taught me to fight for what I want, to hold onto it and enjoy every possible moment—to live each day as if it were my last.

And those days I wanted to spend with Souji.

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

**TK**: The _sword and sheath metaphor_ comes from **Samurai X**, between Kenshin and Tomoe (but I think Katsura was the one who actually said it?). I just loved it so much, it stuck with me. So I borrowed it for this story.

And hey, now we know Souji's reasoning for being a meanie :D

**Today's topic**: Self-Insert Stories

I'm always so on the fence about these types of stories. Most of them are not the greatest, but I've found a couple that have been so fantastic (like the ones by _Darkpetal16_) they blew my mind and inspired me to come out of my comfort zone a little and try it, thus _Sweet Silver Lining_ was born.

So here's my first attempt at an "SI-OC" story, just, y'know, rather than it being 'me', it's supposed to be 'you'. I put some thought into that, y'know? Most people don't want to read an OC story about someone else's OC. They want to read about themselves.

So the challenge here was to write an OC that most girls could relate to and kinda step into her shoes. I hope I succeeded in that regard.

Did you like this type of story? Would you read another story like this? Have you guys ever written this type of self-insert/you-become-the-protagonist kinda story?

I was considering writing another one after I finish this, and I have a few ideas, most definitely with samurai this time. Is that something you guys would be interested in?

**Bonus**: My personal recommendation for best SI-OC story in the Hakuoki fandom goes to **"Misplaced Soul" by ArtimecWing**. It's very long, but it will hold your interest throughout the entire story. Check it out on my profile!


	8. Love Song

**Important information**: This is a _personalized_ story, meaning (like the game), Chizuru's name is in here as a _**placeholder**_. It is not actually about Chizuru herself. So if you want, feel free to download the story and **replace** _Yukimura_ with a last **name of your choice** and _Chizuru_ with whatever first name you want. The Protagonist has a basic personality and is never physically described, specifically for that purpose.

**[**Okita x Protagonist – Modern day AU. A new home, a new family, a new country—and who said anything about learning Japanese?**]**

A kind thank you to my two guest reviewers. To _Guest Too_, Okita's emotional 'dance' is something that I specifically worked hard to make true to the character, so to hear it was masterful really made my day! I am messing around with a new story idea, but as much as I adore Saito, Okita has my creative muse wrapped around his pinky finger, and I'm sure he knows it, too. And thank you for saying the quality of my writing is just as wonderful :) I'm always a bit disappointed in myself when I wrap up a short story and then see someone else with like, hundreds of thousands of words. Why can't I do that? haha

**TK:** This is the end; no sequels, no additional chapters, no extra content. Sorry! Also, I have a horrible habit of throwing together a bs happy ending at the last second and then leaving it. So I'm fully aware the quality of this ending is not up to par with the rest of the story. Despite that, I still hope you enjoyed the story as a whole.

* * *

_**Sweet Silver Lining**_

_TK Grimm_

* * *

**Chapter Eight:**

**Love Song**

* * *

It was like I'd flipped a switch. From that moment onward, Souji stopped keeping his distance from me. In fact, I started seeing him more and more. He'd seek me out at random times of the day, whether or not he had a reason to, and spend time with me or pester me for attention. It didn't matter if I was bored or preoccupied.

I couldn't really refuse him, either. Souji took away my ability to say 'no' to him a long time ago, and I think he knew it. He was teasing, cocky, and jealous—but I was in love.

The days after Christmas were filled with interesting scenarios in which we both adjusted to the idea of being in a relationship with each other. We didn't advertise it at first, but with the first person to find us together being my father, of _course_ it got out.

It was shortly after we'd returned to Shiei Hall after seeing the Christmas Eve lights. We returned to the spot outside with the blanket and the space heater. I sat on the wooden walkway that bordered the house, and Souji lay nearby with his head in my lap. I ran my fingers through his hair while he told me stories about him and the guys of Shiei Hall.

And that's how my father found us.

"There you are, I was—oh!" I heard his shock before I saw it on his face. I looked up, red-faced, and saw Kondou looking down at us with a surprised expression. After a beat, it morphed into a gentle, proud smile. "Chizu-chan, are you taking good care of Souji?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but Souji beat me to it. "Doesn't she always?" he said, which made my heart swell. He was finally acknowledging all of my efforts and care. "You don't have to worry about this one, Kondou-san."

My father walked over to us and sat down on his knees nearby. He looked so happy. "You two are my pride and joy," he said softly. "Does this mean… you care for each other?"

I looked down, and Souji tilted his head up in my lap to look at me. I think he was waiting for me to speak, but I was lost in those green eyes of his. I managed to find my voice. "I've always cared for Souji."

I expected one of his usual smirks, but he just watched me with a softness in his eyes that I only ever saw when he looked at Kondou, not anyone else. He kept his head in my lap, but he reached up his hand and touched the side of my face as he spoke. "I am Kondou-san's sword… and Chizuru-chan is my sheath."

My father reached over and put his hands on both of our shoulders, which drew our attention away from each other and to him. He was smiling at us, and his hazel eyes were glistening with unshed tears. "Wonderful."

Needless to say, with Kondou on cloud nine, it didn't take long for the gossip to spread throughout the house. Harada-kun's all-knowing looks became decidedly more sly. My seat in the dining hall was pretty much set in stone at Souji's side.

As it turned out, Souji didn't really care much about things like personal space or priorities. If he wanted time with me, he didn't let anything stop him. One time, I was playing Resident Evil with Heisuke-kun on our gamer chairs, and Souji came into my room unannounced (like he always did) and wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my chest.

"Chizuru-chan," he said as he pressed himself against me. I paused the game and set down my controller so I could wrap my arms around him. He was on his knees in front of my chair, so I looked down at him while he spoke. "I signed up for online classes next semester."

After our conversation about Souji inheriting the dojo, he started taking his future a lot more seriously. I showed him how a lot of big universities offer a ton of opportunities to take classes online. He decided he would try that until he got his tuberculosis back under control, then he would attend university again.

It was talk, though, so I was happy that he'd actually done it. "That's great!" I said proudly as I ran my fingers through his hair. He always preened when I gave him attention or praised him, and this time was no different. "Maybe I'll start school with you when you go after this semester."

"Hmm~?" His voice was teasing as he looked up at me, his chin still rested on my chest. "Kyoto's university is pretty massive. You could get lost and end up kidnapped. Don't give me that look—Kyoto's full of shady guys."

"Chizuru-chan can take care of herself," said Heisuke-kun. His voice made me jump, and I blushed. I'd forgotten he was there. And Souji and I weren't exactly keeping the PDA to a minimum.

Souji shot Heisuke-kun a very unimpressed stare. "You don't think the guys at school wouldn't chase after her? So if something happened to her, you'd be okay with that?"

Heisuke-kun's eyes widened, and he suddenly sat upright in his chair with renewed vigor. "Oh man, you're right! They would! Chizuru-chan, maybe university isn't the best idea. If the guys there saw you, they'd be all over you! What if—"

"Whoa, whoa, guys, come on," I protested. "It's just _college_. It's not like you're bringing me to the headquarters of some pervy cult. I can handle horny guys."

Neither of them looked convinced. Heisuke-kun in particular had his brow creased in worry. "Guys are scum, Chizuru-chan! As soon as they get the chance, they'll try to have their way with you! What if we're not there to protect you? Souji's right—we can't have every class with you!"

I rolled my eyes. "Seriously? What about my education?"

Souji pulled himself back a little, but he didn't relinquish his grip on me. "Well… I'd be willing to make an exception if you took some lessons here at the dojo. You know, self-defense, that sort of thing."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "Yeah? That actually sounds like a good idea."

Heisuke-kun nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, I'd feel a lot better if I knew you could defend yourself. Although buying you a can of pepper spray wouldn't hurt…"

Well, at least they were worried about me. I gave a content sigh and pulled Souji to my chest again for another embrace, which he let himself get buried in. "Alright," I acquiesced. "If you both insist, I'll start learning self-defense. Maybe you guys can help teach me. Sound good, Heisuke-kun?"

He looked at me, and I saw the conflicted expression on his face. I realized he probably wasn't over his little crush quite yet, and me holding onto Souji wasn't the nicest thing in the world for him to see. But when I tried to pull back from him, Souji held me tightly in place, refusing to budge.

"Uh… yeah sure, maybe," Heisuke-kun said as he awkwardly scratched the back of his head. He quickly leapt out of his chair and set down his controller. "Listen, uh, I forgot I had to do something, so um, I'll see you later okay? Bye!" He ran out the door.

I watched my door slide closed with a frown for a moment before I looked down at Souji, who stubbornly refused to take his gaze away from the chair Heisuke-kun had been sitting in. Souji was an arrogant asshole with a jealous side, but it was part of what made him who he was. When you love someone, you have to accept all of them, even their faults.

I reached down and held my hand to the side of Souji's face. Gently, I turned his attention up to me and leaned down to give him a short, tender kiss.

"I know you don't like it when I hang out with Heisuke-kun, but he's my friend," I told him as I held his face close to mine. "I'd be sad or lonely if I couldn't hang out with friends once in a while. You know?"

Souji gave a resigned sigh before he pulled me off of the bean bag chair and into his lap. He held me to him tightly and buried his face in my neck. "Sorry," he mumbled. I knew what he was really saying. _Don't abandon me_. His sister had left him with scars. The world turned its back on him, but he stayed defiant.

Souji Okita wasn't pitiable at all. He was the strongest man I knew.

"There's nothing to apologize for," I reassured him. "So don't worry."

"Okay." I felt the muscles in his back and shoulders relax, and I smiled. I was getting really good at reading him and knowing how to handle his moods. I felt him kiss my neck, so I tilted my head to give him better access. My fingers slipped into his soft, silky hair and sighed in contentment.

Truthfully, Souji wasn't the only one who was acting this way. I was just as bad. Now that I _could_, I had a tendency to touch him. Frequently. Whether it was a casual caress between our fingers at mealtime or a hug from behind when I'd catch him lounging leisurely on the steps, I had a really hard time keeping my hands off him. He teased me for it, but he made it clear he didn't mind.

I guess we were both a little needy.

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

"Again," Souji said, which made me wince. He was a good teacher, and he definitely didn't go easy on me just because I was his girlfriend. We'd been practicing self-defense for several weeks now, and man was I feeling it.

Once I got over my initial fear of hurting him (which he apparently found hilarious), I was able to get into the swing of things and take my training seriously. It was the deal, though—university and self-defense lessons. It wasn't as cool or glamorous as I thought it would be, but it was practical, useful. I was glad I was learning this stuff. The can of pepper spray in my purse made me feel a little better, too.

Souji simulated several scenarios where an 'attacker' would come at me, and I would have to fend him off. He'd block and dodge and never actually get hurt but still teach me what to do in various situations.

"The key isn't to fight back and kick your opponent's ass," he told me. "It's to stun him so you can get away. Realistically, you probably won't be able to take anyone out, but you won't have to. Go for the throat, the nose—all those places I taught you—and get in a solid hit, then run like hell. Scream fire."

"Got it!"

He smirked. "That's my girl."

By the end of each session, I was always a sweaty mess. Souji never seemed to mind. He'd wrap his arms around me and rub his face against mine before turning me around and telling me to go take a shower.

It was a great trade, though. Thanks to those self-defense lessons, my father had no qualms about enrolling me in university. We went to a local one so we could remain at Shiei Hall. It was Souji's second semester and my first, so we'd been together for almost a year now. It was amazing how fast time seemed to fly by for us.

Being the only female in a house full of men, I became a bit spoiled to the constant attention. Once I started university, however, I had to come to terms with some things: _One,_ that Souji was outlandishly attractive, and _two_, that I was not the only female who noticed. Suddenly, his jealousy over Heisuke seemed pretty minor and innocent in comparison to the dark thoughts coursing through _my_ mind.

Despite his rather cold attitude and, let's face it, caustic sense of humor, Souji was quite popular among the girls at university. I think they found his biting disregard of them enticing (not that I'd know _anything_ about that, _cough, cough_). But he was subject to more than a few stares, which in-turn made _me_ subject to more than a few glares—likely due to his inability to keep his hands off me.

It was flattering of course, and reaffirmed my confidence and his feelings for me. I trusted Souji and knew it was silly to be worried about this. But I didn't trust those other girls. I knew nothing would happen, and that he'd stop it if someone tried, but you can't blame a girl for being a little territorial, you know?

I took it in stride for the most part, biting my tongue and ignoring the lingering looks or the way they would show more of their chest or bat their eyelashes. Souji wasn't oblivious by any means. He would smirk and toy with them with his words a bit before sending them on their way.

One girl was ballsy enough to do it right in front of me. She reached out and playfully touched his arm while giggling and saying, "Oh, you're so _funny_, Souji-kun."

My eyes narrowed.

"I'd say I try, but I really don't," he replied.

I usually found that cocky attitude of his attractive. At the moment, I was too busy imagining the girl's head exploding. "Did you need something?" I asked. "Or were you just here to take up our time?"

Souji let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like a laugh.

The girl shot me a rather peeved look. "I was just talking to Souji-kun. If you have somewhere to be, you don't have to stick around waiting."

My rage meter must have reached its limit, for I opened my mouth to give her a piece of my mind. In that moment, Souji put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him, speaking over me, "_Actually_, we both have to be going. See you."

With that, he steered me down the hall and toward the exit of the building, since I was done with class for the day.

"The _nerve_ of that cow," I muttered.

Souji laughed and pulled me further into his side. "Oh, Chizuru~ I'd tell you not to be jealous, but it feels pretty great, so you go right ahead."

I lightly elbowed him in a way that wouldn't cause pain. "Very funny." I was smiling, though. Somehow, Souji knew how to turn my mood around in a complete one-eighty.

He chuckled and leaned over to kiss the side of my forehead. "C'mon," he said. "Let's go home."

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

While it was true that I'd spent a lot of time looking after and taking care of Souji in our time together, the same could be said in reverse. Souji wasn't neglectful by any means. One day, I came down with a terrible migraine in the middle of class, so I called Hijikata-san and had him give me a ride home.

I didn't have class with Souji at that time. He was on the opposite side of campus, so I couldn't tell him I was heading home early and not to wait up for me. Instead, I used my phone and sent him a text message saying I had a migraine and needed a quiet, dark room and a long nap.

Souji instantly sent a mail back that he was both concerned and willing to play doctor with me later.

【**My Chizuru isn't feeling well?** **Then we'll just have to play doctor when I get home. The naughty version, of course.**】

Yeah, he's awesome.

Once home, I immediately retreated to my room, turned off all the lights, closed the curtains over my windows, and crawled into bed. My head and eyes still hurt, but the darkness made the pain lessen slightly. I had never experienced a migraine before. Apparently, legit ones were really rare. Once I recognized this pain for what it was, I was glad they were rare. It was excruciating.

I wasn't sure how much time passed. I'd taken a few pain killers, but they had nothing on this migraine. I tossed and turned and silently begged for the pain to go away.

Eventually, I heard my door quietly slide open. I knew it was Souji; not sure how, but I'd somehow developed a sixth sense for his presence.

"Hey, you," he said as he entered the room. He slid the door closed behind him. "How are you feeling?"

My fatigue was apparent in my voice. "A bit better, but not great. I just need some sleep, but that doesn't seem to be happening…"

Souji walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge. He pulled his shirt up over his head and let it fall to the ground. As he untied his hair, I pulled back the covers enough to show him that he could slide in with me. Souji let his hair down and laid down behind me. He pressed a kiss to the nape of my neck and wrapped his arms around me.

"Come here," he whispered as he pulled me into his chest. I turned around so I was facing him, his arms wrapped around my curves, and I lightly ran my fingers up and down his chest, happy just to feel him nearby.

Being held like this was comforting and nice. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his chest before settling back down and getting comfortable. Time passed, the pain eased, and I became filled with contentment as I finally drifted off to sleep.

I woke up a few hours later and found Souji still there, fast asleep. I smiled and laid my head back down to sleep some more.

The second time I woke up, the clock said it was sometime after two a.m. The sky was pitch black, but Souji was already awake. He hadn't moved, though.

I grimaced. "Oh, Souji, I'm sorry. Have I trapped you here all night?"

Souji looked down at me with a sympathetic smile. "I trapped myself here. Are you feeling better?"

"A thousand times better," I assured him. "But I'm a little hungry. You must be starving. How about I cook you whatever you want? Would that make it up to you?"

Souji's face brightened. "Oh~ If Chizuru-chan insists." Let it not be said that men can't be won over with good cooking.

I pulled myself out of the covers and wiped the sleep from my eyes. As I woke up, I realized I was thirsty, hungry, had to pee, and yet my migraine was completely gone. I glanced over at Souji, feeling guilty. "You skipped dinner for me, didn't you?"

It was one of those rare moments that Souji blushed. He had a bit of a pout on his face and looked away, so I could hardly see it, but it was there. "Yeah, well, I had more important things on my mind."

I smiled and reached for him to kiss him. I ended it quickly, though, before he could deepen it, and stood up from the bed.

Souji frowned. "What's your hurry?"

"I have to pee!" I confessed, laughing as I scrambled for the door. Why is it the urge to pee is always strongest when you first wake up? Without stopping to put on pants, I just bolted to the bathroom. It wasn't far from my room.

I heard Souji burst out laughing. He raised his voice to yell, "_I love you_!"

"I love you, too!" I screamed back, partially muffled by the bathroom door. "But don't talk to me when I'm peeing!"

That only made Souji laugh harder, apparently completely uncaring if he woke anyone up with our racket.

When I emerged from the bathroom, I was still drying my hands on my shirt after just washing them. Souji was dressed, and I stood in the doorway realizing something. "You love me?"

He was in the process of picking up a pair of pajama pants for me when they slipped from his fingers and fell to the floor. "I…" he had wide eyes and was staring at his hand as if it had betrayed him. "…You said it, too."

I ran over to Souji and wrapped my arms around him from behind. One year into our relationship, and he could still surprise me. "I love you," I said.

Souji grew very still. My arms loosened a little, but I didn't pull back completely. I started to get a little worried from his lack of reaction. Finally, he spoke, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "Would you… say that again?"

_Oh, Souji_. I squeezed him tighter. "I love you."

A short while later, the two of us sat alone in the dining hall with a pile of food between us. I kept my word and made whatever he wanted to show my gratitude for his care that night. Plus, I was just so happy and giddy to love and be loved in return that I truly didn't mind cooking a mountain of food.

"Thanks for taking care of me, Souji," I said.

He looked surprised, but then he grinned a little in a self-satisfied kind of way. "It's not a big deal. You take care of me, too, so it's only fair."

"I guess you're right," I said happily. I brought my thumb up to my lips to lick off a bit of stray sauce. Souji's green eyes shot toward my finger and tongue, and he suddenly stopped eating. I lowered my hand, wondering what he could possibly be thinking. He was staring at me in a way that I just wasn't used to. "…Souji? What is it?"

He just smirked and then swept his arm out to push the plates of food out of our way. The plates didn't clatter much, but our glasses crashed and shattered on the floor. Souji reached for me, and my train of thought synched with his immediately. I climbed over the short table and into his lap. Souji's hands snaked around my waist under the fabric of my shirt to touch my bare skin. He licked and kissed my neck with fervor.

It wasn't the first time we'd been distracted in the middle of doing something. And since everyone else in the house was sleep, it was one of those rare opportune times we could get lost in the moment and just touch each other wherever and however we wanted.

I ensnared my fingers into his hair and pressed myself as close as possible. "I could get used to this," I said breathlessly.

Souji grinned and kissed me. "I already am." He ran his tongue along my lower lip, and I kissed him back reverently.

He was about to pull back, but I held him in place. "Wait!" Souji gave me a confused look, and I pointed at the shattered tea cups. "You'll cut yourself," I said worriedly.

Souji chuckled at that and nuzzled his nose against my neck. "You are _so cute_." When he pulled back, Souji looked at the floor. It was still dark outside, and with only a bit of candlelight to see by, it was too dangerous to walk on the floor. "Stay here. I'll get a broom."

"But—"

"What the hell is going on down here?" I cringed at the sound of Hijikata-san's voice. Of all people to discover us!

Souji looked a little peeved by his presence. "You're interrupting, Hijikata-san."

Hijikata-san stood in the doorway of the mess hall. When he saw the state we both were in, more than a little hot and bothered, his eyes widened and he whipped his head around so his back was to us. "There better not be anything _untoward_ going on in this dining hall or so help me, Souji…"

Souji's grin was positively evil. "_Untoward_, Hijikata-san? I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."

"You know full well what I mean!"

"No, I really don't. Can you be more specific?"

I tried to hold back a laugh. I failed.

Hijikata-san snapped at me. "Don't encourage him, Chizuru!"

"Don't take this out on her," Souji said. "I just knocked over a couple of glasses. I'll clean it up."

Hijikata-san clearly didn't want to be down here any longer than he had to be. "Hmph," he grumbled. "Just make sure you clean it all."

When the door closed, we both burst out laughing.

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

Souji often teased me for being so affectionate toward him, but he made it clear he didn't mind (enjoyed it). I'd taken to watching him practice his swordsmanship in the dojo sometimes. I don't know why, but I got a hell of a thrill watching him work up a sweat by kicking the shit out of everyone else in class. There was just something universally appealing about a guy who was good at fighting.

He'd come up to me in the middle of practice and, not caring that he was sweaty or that his friends were watching him, he'd pull me into his arms and rub his face against mine with his usual snarky grin. Then I'd indulge him and praise him and he'd continue what he was doing before.

My father loved it, but Hijikata-san wasn't amused. "You spoil him too much," he scolded. "What kind of husband do you think Souji's going to be if his wife lets him get away with that shit?"

I laughed, unabashed, as I wiped Souji's sweat off of my face with a towel. "I can't help it. I can't say 'no' to him."

"Don't bother, Hijikata-san," Souji drawled. His practice sword was in hand, rested against his shoulder. "Chizuru-chan will always take my side." The way he said that, with zero doubt in his voice, made me very happy.

"Let them be, Toshi," my father said with a smile. "You can't argue with young love."

I was lucky I didn't have an over-protective father. If anything, Kondou seemed to want our relationship to go by even faster. He wasn't the most subtle person, so even a blind man could pick up on his little marriage and children hints. I usually blushed and laughed them aside. I was too young for that. At least he wasn't threatening Souji.

Quite the contrary. Kondou encouraged us both. When it was just the three of us, Souji truly dropped his guard and acted his true self. He was able to fully relax and showed us that rare, genuine smile. I realized it was a side to Souji that he would only ever show my father and me. I was so, so grateful to be included on that small list.

"Souji," Kondou began. "I'm entrusting you with my darling girl. I know you'll protect her." His gaze shifted to me. "And Chizuru. Though we may not be blood, Souji is my son. I'm trusting you to take care of him."

Most fathers would have only given the warning to the new boyfriend. But he gave it to me, too, because Souji meant just as much to him as I did. That didn't bother me—it made me happy that someone cared so deeply for Souji. I was happy that Kondou was a father figure for Souji. And by the look on Souji's face, Kondou's words meant the world to him.

We were both pretty speechless, and my father chuckled at that. He pulled us both in toward him, and we became trapped in a group hug. Warmth spread between us as I gripped the fabric of my father's _haori_ in one hand and Souji's hand in the other.

"Of course," I said. "We're family."

We spent that winter with food, drinks, and good company. The whole house got together to celebrate. Thankfully, the awkward atmosphere between Heisuke-kun and myself had dissolved over the last few months. It seems he'd accepted Souji and I, and he no longer felt poorly about it.

I played my guitar, we talked about this or that, and I heard endless stories about Shiei Hall and the ragtag group of boys who called it home.

As the conversations carried on, my thoughts began to reflect on my life and the circumstances that brought me here. I missed my mother, it was true, but I wasn't alone. I'd gained a father, a love, and a family here in Japan. Even in the worst situations, there's always that sweet silver lining that keeps us going.

And I had found mine at last.

* * *

**The End**

* * *

【新選組】

* * *

**TK:** Just an FYI, I keep polished PDF copies of all my stories, which I e-mail out via request. Since this is a personalized story, you can message me with the name of your OC and I will fix you up a copy and e-mail the full story to you, in permanent PDF form, with whatever name you choose.

Words cannot describe how much your constant support has done for me! Seriously, thanks from the bottom of my tiny, frozen heart. You guys are amazing. Expect the first chapter of a new story soon. I hope to see you there!

Our last discussion for a while, guys!

**Today's topic**: Kaoru (Game spoilers, just throwing that out there)

It seems like everyone has a different opinion on this kid! I'm really curious to know hear the views of my readers. But here's my two cents on the matter.

Kaoru is a brat. I'm sorry! I'm not bashing him-I am going to try to legitimately explain my reasons for my opinion. And in the end, you are free to agree or disagree. That's the beauty of it :D

So like, I get that he was abused for being a boy, and he was mad that Chizuru/you got to have a happy life and forgot about him. Sure, that's legit, it's pretty cold to conveniently forget you have a twin brother, and I understand that his reasoning for why he is the way he is is fair.

But I just can't forgive him for being such an asshole. Taking it out on Okita, who is total third party here and not involved in the Yukimura Family Bullshit (YFB), was totally uncool. And turning Chizuru/you into a fury? From like, a purely scholarly point of view, that is TOTAL garbage because she/you are one of the last pure female demons in existence, and now she/you are corrupted and it's meaningless. GG.

And not only is he an asshole, but he like, fails at it. He fights Okita and gets his ass kicked, so he powers up and fights Okita in YFB super saiyan mode, and he gets his ass kicked again. Man, Kaoru, why you gotta be such a fuck up? For reals.

Anyway, Kaoru gets some love, and from you ladies who _do, _well I understand. I get it. I don't agree, but I _do_ understand. I just... don't ever see any redeeming qualities in like, any of his screen time.

So what do you guys think about Kaoru? Love him? Hate him? Indifferent? Rant away, my friends.


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